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Full Version: A story, some tips!
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rah73
Some of you have probably seen this before, but it's funny.
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS
GRANDCHILDREN)

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children...

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey
Eve, we have forbidden fruit!!!"
"No Way!" "Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!"said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's
punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If God has trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next 15 telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home one day.

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
heartbeat
Very good, I like it:)

DD 20/9/00
DS 17/10/01
DD 05/04/03
DS 31/12/04

TheFruitcake
Thanks for the laugh, I love it, LOL!
Yelpoch
LOL Classic!

<p style="background:white;"><font face="verdana,arial,sans-serif" size="1" color="black">Kathleen!</font><br /><a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://lilypie.com/baby2/040512/3/4/5/+10" alt="Lilypie Baby Ticker" border="0" /></a></p>
*Lulabelle*
ROFL! original.gif

Leanne

DH Craig
DD Emily 29/12/03
DS Harrison 08/03/05
mummy26
That's a scream!!! original.gif
I like it!!

cheers!
fillesetjumeaux
ROFLMAO! Particularly the bit about repeating word for word what we shouldn't have said - sounds just like my house!

Janet & Justin

...and our two gorgeous girls...

Anna Linden - 27 Jan 2003
Grace Genevieve - 4 Jan 2005
[img]http://tinyurl.com/apjjv[/img]
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