DD is 4.5 months and we are finally at the end of the road for breastfeeding after 2 months struggle on and off. She has been fussing all that time during every day feed. Arching her back, punching me, screaming, kicking, struggling, turning her head away after only a few sucks. Night feeds are usually okay, but those are pretty much all she will take, and now that I am back at work the sleep deprivation of her feeding at night and fussing all day (which means expressing for every day feed) has finally lead me to give up

I feel so sad about this. I know I'm lucky to have made it this far, and that it was a great start to her life, but I just feel soooo sad that it couldn't go on....more devastated than I ever imagined. Not sure why - maybe because I got through the blisters, the pain, the mastitis and now it has come to this???

I have a few ideas to try to improve day feeds, but I'm at the end of my tether and she now happily takes a bottle but screams and arches at my breast, so it looks pretty certain where we are headed...

I always assumed I would breastfeed for 12 months if I had the milk etc - I never assumed it would be DD that would have the issues with breastfeeding.

I know plenty of you have gone through this. Any advice to get me over being so sad about this?
Also any practical tips on how to transition to formula?

Thanks
TWH

Congratulations on getting to 4 1/2 months of feeding - it sounds like you had many problems, persisted, and managed 4 1/2 months - please think of it as a great positive and huge accomplishment.

DS thrived on Karicare Gold formula and although at this stage I'm still feeding DD - will also switch her to Karicare Gold when the time comes. I gave DS 8 weeks and to me that was an achievement. DS is easier and we are at 9 weeks with no problems but whatever happens happens with her.

Just wanted to say Congratulations on what you've achieved. I think people need encouragement on whatever they have managed to achieve via 'mums milk' and not feel bad about going to formula - be it a day, a month, 4 months, a year - you've done your very best.

This message was edited by Sydprod2001 on Thursday, 14 July 2005 @ 8:52 PM

Hi Tinyweehen

I don't have any tips or advice but I remembered you on Monday because I read last week that you were dreading to go back to work:( It must be tough. Hope it gets better for you soon. I am glad that your DD is now willing to take the formula Epxressing for every feed must be hard It takes me days just to express for one feed!

I can definitely understand your feeling on being sad about stopping the bf esp. after all the pain initially, I think I will be sad too when my DS eventually stops. My friend told me that she knew a lot of people feeling the way you are feeling when they stopped. Hope things improve soon ;p

Hang in there

Thankyou Sydprod2001 and Cheekyson - I will try and think of it in a positive way, it is an achievement you are right! I am lucky to have had this time breastfeeding DD and though I will miss it I can certainly be proud we made it this far with all the issues.

Yes, being back at work is hard, and at least DD accepts formula now without looks of total horror (but she smells different after having it - I will miss her smell on breastmilk, it just isn't the same).

I guess I have to allow myself to be a bit sad about this and then just get over it, basically....she is happier with a bottle, so that says it all really.

Thanks again!

Tinyweehen,
I, like you thought I would keep BF until 12 months, but alas, had to start on some medication that is not compatible with BF and had to wean at 4.5 months.

I was devastated too.

It did take me a few weeks to get over it, but, he is such a happy kid on formula, not an ounce of difference in him and although its not the ideal choice for me, my baby is fine and happy.

Plus, it has the added benefit of meaning DH gets up for some night feeds now - bliss!

It does suck, but you have done your best.

It gets easier

sas xx

i totally undrstand how you are feeling as i went through this exact same situation a couple of months ago. i think you replied to my posts??

it is so heartbreaking and nothing anyone will say will make it any easier but you did such a wondeful job to get as far as you did.

i have recently been diagnosed with postnatal depression due to my inability to breastfeed my son due to his refusal. i cry at least once a day as i wanted so desperatly to feed my son.....anyway what i am trying to say is i understand how you feel and if you would like to chat i would love to as i feel very alone about this. sorry to hijack your thread
xxx

Mammasas and Chickabella - thankyou for sharing your stories.


LOL! That is very true...

Chickabella - I'm so sorry to hear you have PND. I know in my head it is not necessary for us to feel guilt/regret over these things, but as mums we can't help but want the very best for our kids, and it really makes it hard. I hope your PND departs forever soon. (((big hugs)))

Forgot to say...on a more positive note...

DD fed really well 2 times already today!! I'm just taking it 1 feed at a time, and dare not entertain the hope she is going to behave for good now, as my hopes have been dashed before, but I will just do whatever I can until my supply goes or she refuses altogether.

You sound like me when I had my first daughter - assuming it wouldn't be the baby who had the problems with breastfeeding!! I learnt pretty quick (in the first few days) that if the baby doesn't want to do it, then they won't.

Be assured you've done a great job getting to 4 1/2 months and doing all you can to overcome the problems.

It is hard to get over the sad feelings, I found it very difficult for the first few months. What made it a bit easier was knowing I had done everything in my power to get my daughter to breastfeed, had sought every avenue of help, and accepting that in the end it was her decision.

Also I expressed and bottle fed EBM for a few weeks, it made me feel better that at least she was getting breastmilk - maybe you can do this at least for some of the feeds?

Time has also made me feel better, but I have to admit even now DD1 is 4 I still have regrets it didn't work out! Especially since breastfeeding DD2 has been a breeze and I feel guilty DD1 did not get the same benefits.

But try and be proud of the great job you have done and don't dwell on it and let it affect your relationship with your baby (I did this and regret now not bonding with DD1 at first because of the problems).



Tanya
Eloise June 2001
Charlotte July 2004