I am sure this has been dealt with recently...but I would appreciate any input.

DS (3.4yo) has become a nightmare to settle in the evening. We always had a bit of trouble but it has gotten out of hand now. We usually have him bathed, fed and pj'ed by 6.30pm. DH starts the stories and I continue as soon as DD is in bed. Even though he is obviously exhausted, it can take up to 2hrs to get him to bed and to stay there. We have the; lots of tears and yelling, I am hungry /cold /scared, need a wee/poo, running around the house, another story etc. So, after much taking back and repetition, we sometimes latch the door and then he will trash the room and yell to wake DD, or make himself sick.

We've tried the tough and the slack approaches; letting him stay up with us, repetition, 1-2-3, more stories, no stories, more food, no food, staying with him, checking the garden for monsters, teddies in bed...and so many more things!

I think I have managed to balance things as well as possible since the arrival of DD, and we've tried to keep bedtime as routine as possible too. So what is causing this? Some big transition in his self, a growth spurt? Any other suggestions to make bedtimes less of a battleground?

Thank you so so much for any suggestions.


Me 33
DH 34
DS 31/10/01
DD 04/12/04

This message was edited by Pommie on Tuesday, 22 March 2005 @ 7:29 PM

Hi Pommie,

I can't offer you any constructive advice. I just wanted to let you know I fully sympathise with what you're going thru. My youngest DS, who's 3 in June, has refused to sleep in his own bed since late last year. Initially, I went through the "letting him scream til he fell asleep" thing, but then he wakes up distressed throughout the night. I tried establishing a routine: bath, stories etc. It was all very stressful and didn't work. So now we've put his cot mattress on the floor beside our bed and he sleeps there. Only problem is he now won't go to bed until I do! So I'm having to go to bed at 9pm to make sure he at least gets to sleep by 10!!!

My eldest was the same until he hit about 4 and then wanted to sleep in his own bed, so I'm not going to stress too much. I don't want bedtime to be seen as a horrible, stressful thing by him or else I'll never be able to get him into his own room! Alot of people are vehemently against having kids sleep in your room but honestly, if it prevents world war 3 every night and ensures everyone gets a decent sleep, who cares??! It's not like the world's full of 14 yr olds who still sleep in their parents' bed, is it?

Hope you find a non-stressful, working solution soon...Take heart, because you're not alone!

Cheers,
Terina

Thanks Terina, I much appreciate your reply. Hadn't thought of trying a mattress next to our bed, might try that.
We do co-sleep with DS when he wakes up in the night and he seems too spooked to settle again in his room. Co-sleeping has never been a problem for us, we just insist that he starts the night in his bed. Last night, he finally settled after lots of tears around 10pm and woke about 3 times crying and asking for milk, very unusual, so something must have been working on his mind...only wish they could phrase what's up...He's recently moved up to Preschool room at daycare (1x week), so maybe there's something there.

Too right he won't be sleeping in our bed at 14!

Thanks again.
Alex.