Hi, I am new to the Toddlers Plus Section, my DS has just turned 2, about a month ago. We have had some pretty huge changes in our lives, all since his second birthday. We have moved 1200kms away to Airlie Beach, from Brisbane.

We have done our best to make things as familiar as possible for him. My DH came up a couple of days earlier than DS and I, so that he could set up the house, particularly Alexander's bedroom. But, of course, much is different. He is away from his kindy, his extended family etc.

Unfortunately though, we are having some behavioral problems with him, and I am desperate for some help. I am a long way from absolutely ANYONE that I know and would have turned to for advice. I won't ask about all of his issues tonight, don't want to overwhelm....

First of all, what concerns me most, is tonight when I put him down for his sleep, I noticed a cluster of what appear to be cold sores on his top lip. I have suffered terribly from cold sores as long as I can remember, getting huge clusters of them on my mouth, nose, eyes and under my chin (throat, I guess)and my glands blow up and are very painful. I get them whenever I am very stressed or run down.

I don't however have them at the moment, so I know that I haven't transmitted this batch to him. Is it possible that he is just so stressed by this move (although it has been almost a month) that he has broken out in these. Have you ever heard of children his age getting cold sores???? I feel really sad for him, because I have gone to extremes since the day he was born to NEVER expose him to mine. So, what has made him get them now.

Does anyone have any advice about what I can do for him as far as these cold sores go????

I think I will leave it at this tonight, as it is really stressing me out and I can ask the other questions at another time.

I really would appreciate ANY advice you could give me.

Thanks so much,

Melissa, mum to a beautiful 2 year old boy.

Hi Melissa,

I also get them once in a while - generally when I'm run down. I'm hoping my girls don't get them either. I know how you feel as unless you get them, you don't know how horrible it is to get them IYKWIM? Apparantly they think about 9 out of 10 people carry the virus! It is just that some peoples immune system don't "present" them as an outbreak.
Here is some info on it that I found.

"It is possible for an infected person to pass the virus onto someone else without presenting any obvious symptoms. This is because the virus may be lying dormant in the skin cells of the lips. A person newly infected with the herpes simplex virus typically develops a mouth infection. The virus then inhabits the nervous system, and may or may not produce cold sores, depending on the individual's immune system."

So he may never get a "cold sore" again. Tea tree oil can help dry them out a little. I don't know about on children, though. Maybe ask a pharmacist?

Sorry he has one. Poor little thing.
HTH

Oh, my DD1 is nearly the same age as yours. What type of problems are you having? I'll let you know if they are similar to what my DD is doing. Just yesterday I had things thrown at me! Little charmer lol

This message was edited by KylieB on Monday, 21 March 2005 @ 12:34 AM

I second everything Kylie said. I think your DS is very stressed by the move and so has had the cold sore outbreak, poor thing! Big changes like this are very hard on all concerned, but particularly on a small child. I would say to spend a lot of time with him, doing familiar things to try and make him feel more settled.

I hope you can sort some of it out soon, and please post with the other issues - we will do what we can to help! Sending big {{{{HUGS}}}} your way.



Emma
DH Andrew
DS Patrick Finn 19/6/02

TTC #2 on hold (FF Page)

Hi, thank you so much for your replies. This morning the cluster is still there, but still appears to be in the very early stages, they don't seem to have errupted yet, so hoping that they just go away.

As for Xander's other issues, they are really frustrating. He is developmentally delayed, so it is difficult to reason with him the way you would with most children his age, as many concepts escape him.

He has been sleeping in a big bed for about 4 or 5 months, with no trouble at all! From day one, he slept in it without being at all troubled by the change. He has always been a wonderful sleeper, since 7 weeks old, he has slept through the night, about 11 hours each night. He has always had at least 2.5 to 3.5 hours sleep in the day. He has always stayed in his bed. Then about 5 days ago, he learned how to open doors. Now night times are a nightmare! He goes down at his normal time of 7.30, and drinks his bottle (a whole other story, but one I'm not overly stressed about!). But now, as soon as he is finished, he opens his door and comes out. Nothing we do keeps him in his bed for more than 5 minutes. When I put him back to bed, he screams and cries (real tears, he is breaking my heart!) and comes out as soon as he can. Short of locking his door (all of the bedrooms have locks) I don't know how to keep him in there. In the day, I lie with him until he goes to sleep, and he is used to that. But when I do it at night, it distracts him, as he has never had that at night, even as a newborn, so he knows something is up.

Sorry this is so long winded. Any ideas????? I can't reason with him, he just doesn't understand any concepts, like taking away toys etc. So they won't work. It is literally a physical thing of keeping him in his room. I wouldn't mind if he wanted to play in his room, until he fell asleep, but he wants to be out with us, and he has NEVER fallen asleep anywhere but his bed, so I can't let him fall asleep with us, or on the couch. I've even been desperate enough to try that!

I know it has only been a few days, so it seems silly for me to be worried about it. But he is staying up until almost midnight! And then getting up at 3.30 to come and play with us! And then up for the day at 6.15 every morning, no matter how little sleep he has had! So while it has only been a few days, I really don't want to let this get out of hand.

That will do for today! Have a couple of others, but instead of bugging you all, read back throught to early October, and found previous posts asking similar questions, so will try some of those suggestions before I ask about those.

Thanks again.

Melissa, mum to beautiful 2 year old little man.

Ok, cold sore issue first.
DD got a really bad dose of them when she was 18 months old. Unfortunately she was one of the few that actually get really sick when they first get the virus - 5-6 days of really high temperatures, blistery cold sores in her mouth which also spread to her lips and fingers. Dr did tests to confirm it was the cold sore virus. Dr said it was OK to use Zovirax (sp?), the cold sore cream adults use and this cleared them up within a few days.
Now, as for the sleeping in the bed issue..... DD did the exact same thing after we went away on holidays. We ended up telling her that if she came out of her room we would shut her door (handles are too high for her). She only did it twice more and we shut the door both times which resulted in much crying and screaming for 5 mins. After 5 mins we explained to her again that we would shut the door if she came out again and she didn't do it again. She now has much pride in telling us each morning "Stayed in bed! No shut door!" (mind you, that is usually at 5.30am but is still better than 1 or 2 or 3am!) Some people also recommend using a child gate in their doorway. That way they can't come out but you're not having to lock the door. Dr Phil actually suggested people cut their door in half (like stable doors) and leave the top half open! Bit drastic I felt but drastic situations call for drastic measures....
Anyway, good luck with it all and don't be afraid to ask about any other issues. You can be sure that there are dozens of other mums out there that will have been through the same situations and we all benifit from the feedback that is given.

Hey Melissa
Just wanted to add that I think any 2 yr old is hard to reason with
Seriously tho, my DS is almost 4 and we have had the exact same sleep issues since he turned 2. It started when he learnt to climb out of his cot, so we moved him to a big bed for safety (not as great distance to fall)...Our great little sleeper went from 14 hr nights, to screaming and crying and not wanting to stay in his room at all.
As the big bed was a new thing I tried being very patient, but the only way he would sleep was on his cot mattress on the floor, with me laying beside him, and he would drape his arms and legs over me so that when I went to leave, he would know, and then he would wake up and start crying again. :|
I eventually resorted to going out in short bursts and leaving him to cry, basically as I needed to have a break. (Hubby works nights so is never home for the bed time routine). Eventually he did start to fall asleep, as he knew I wouldn't give in, but he also was waking at 5.30 ish every day.
Once he got tall enough to open the door, it all started again (a whole different story)....and it is only just now that we are getting results.
Don't be afraid to share all your prob's ..that's the great thing about EB- all the wonderful help and support available -and I hope your DS is back to his gorgeous self soon.
Take care xoxoox

Soph ~28
DH ~ 34
Megan ~03/08/99
Zach ~21/06/01
Ethan ~29/11/04