Hi everyone. I am half venting, half asking advice here, so excuse me while I blast it off my chest. I am so peeping mad at my stubborn little diva princess that I feel like banging my head against a wall. She has been invited to her first kinder friend party today. It is a fancy dress party at a venue. Even though our budget it tight at the moment, I went out and brought her a new fairy costume. This morning I got her all ready, looking beautiful. She has been very excited all week. The time comes to leave for the party and she had a major breakdown!! Full on decided she didn't want to go anymore. Full volume screaming tears. OMG!! What to do? I was shocked. I couldn't reason with her. Then she only wanted her father to take her, so he totally cracked it, threw her in the car and burnt rubber all the way up the street. (He didn't want to miss the car racing on this afternoon) Major stress!!! This happened once before when she had a party to attend - all ready to go and at the last minute, major breakdown. I don't know if it is just nerves, and she can't handle it, or if she is just a little you-know-what. I wasn't sure how to handle it. Is she just anti social, or nervous, or have I got something to worry about here? The kinder teacher says she plays with everyone and hasn't made just one best friend. Did I do the right thing forcing her to go to the party, or should I have sent her to her room to miss out?

Personally I don't think you have too much to worry about, it's great that she plays with everyone, and a lot of 4yos don't have a 'best friend'. She may have been overwhelmed with excitement / nervousness, or she may have just changed her mind, both are pretty typical. My 4yo has been very keen on playing soccer, took him today and he was not interested. I think it's just part of being four lol. I would have probably taken mine to the party as well and then left if he was still upset.

Sounds like she's trying to push some boundaries there.... seeing if she can get away with trying to control you, iykwim. Hence her first saying that she's not going, even though she would be clever enough to know that you've gone to a lot of effort to get her ready, and then when she realised she wasn't going to win that battle, she demands that her Dad take her to the party. She won that battle, so to speak, I guess.

I don't know whether or not you did the right thing in making her go to the party, that's for you to judge. If I were in that situation I probably would have given her the choice, "either you come to the party with me, or you stay at home stuck in your room all afternoon while your friends are playing and having a good time at the party." Then its in her hands, but ON THE PARENT'S TERMS NOT THE CHILD'S.

I'm an unrelenting parent though, lol my policy is, I'm the parent, so what I say goes, or it doesn't go at all. lol

I think with kids even if it doesn't really matter whether or not for eg. her Dad takes her to the party or you do, its important to not give into her demands or she may think that she can control you, and maybe won't have as much respect for you as an authority figure, iykwim?

I hope I've made some sense here. lol

Parenting really is the hardest job in the world, sounds like you're doing a great job.



DS - 4 yrs
M/C (10 wks) - Aug 2002
DD - 1.5 yrs
EDD - 31st Aug. '05

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Thanks a lot for your responses, guys. I'm glad to hear this is 'normal'. My next dilema is that now she has been invited to ANOTHER party. My hubby reckons we shouldn't let her go at all. I don't want her to miss out on the social aspect. Only a select few have been invited, and I want her to develop in social situations. What to do?