Hi,

My son is 3 years old and has been having a lot of trouble settling in at preschool, so much so that I am considering pulling him out. I spoke with the preschool director today and she seems to think that Jack is a very reserved little boy who is lacking in confidence and self esteem.

I've never really thought about it before, but since she has said it, I can now see what she means. I obviously want to help my son increase his confidence etc but I'm not sure what I should be doing.

Obviously, I realise I need to praise him and tell him I love him and to take great interset in things that he tells me etc, but I already do these things. I tell him I'm proud of him all the time and every night before he goes to bed we have his little thing where I'll say "whose the best boy in the whole world?" and he'll say "me mummy". So it's not that he should feel unloved etc.

I guess what I'm asking is, what should I do, to help his confidence, what do you do to make your child feel good about themselves?

Love Renee

These are some ideas that immediately jumped into my mind.

Use praise carefully ie be generous with it but be specific about what exactly about DS you are praising. This will help him recognise his good qualities.

Tell DS specifically what he does well (eg You are good at doing up the velcro on your sneakers) rather than comments like good boy or well done as this will help your DS recognise his own strengths.

Give him a simple job that is just for him eg feeding the cat, putting the placemats on the table etc. This will teach him that you trust him to do an important job and that he can make a valuable contribution to the family.

Ask him for his input in decisions eg should we go to the park with the slide or the one with the swings. This will teach him that his opinion is important.

As part of your bedtime routine asking to tell you something that he was good at that day.

Practise simple conversation starters with him so he feels confident to talk with other children.

Can't think of any others at the moment, but it sounds as though you are already doing a lot of great things.
Emma

Edited for spelling

This message was edited by emmaj_r on Friday, 18 March 2005 @ 2:20 PM

Emma, i think you ideas are great for all parents/kids.

Thanks

Anna
Breast Cancer Survivor