[PurpleNess]

I haven't read all of the thread so apologies if Im way behind.

Take it from me - I don't particularly like other peoples children & never wanted one for myself.

However, now I have a 7.5 month old son I can tell you that the love & overwhelming joy your baby brings will trump anything you've ever known.

My boss told me 'it's different when they are your own ' & he was so so right. I'm even starting to warm to other kids so all is not lost.

Babies are demanding yet so amazing & when they smile at you the rest just melts away. All the best with your TTC journey, I wish you well

[kboscolo]

There is nothing weird about how you feel, kudos to you for being honest.

I have had feelings very similar to you. My daughter is now 3 months old and I even now there are times when I wonder how on earth I could ever put myself through pregnancy, childbirth and the "newborn haze" ever again if I wanted a second one (which I think I do for my the sake of my daughter and husband, more so than mine). But when I say that to people they tell me I will forget about all the difficulties when the time is right. which I am sure is correct. And ultimately she is more than worth all of it - we love her more than anything, and would never in a million years regret the sacrficies for all the joy that she has brought, and will continue to bring, into my life and my husband's life.

So just remember that obviously no one wants to go through sleepless nights and all the other challenges of carrying and caring for a newborn baby. But like anything else in life, anything worth having is worth working for. My advice is don't think too hard about it but approach this stage as an important life phase that will actually set you on track and give you the skills and the strength to be a good parent. Also, in the scheme of life, it is a short time and yet the joy of having children and watching them grow up will last you for the rest of your life. But if you don't go down this path, then will you be prepared to live with the pain of loss and regret which comes with being childless for the rest of your life?