[agdp07]

These may be some silly questions but once the baby is born and assuming all is good, what happens next?I just read the thread saying how some mums are up and home ASAP which seems pretty hardcore to me.Basically, on the day my wife wants just myself in the room with her for the birth (and medical team of course ) so I was wondering do immediate family wait in the foyer and if so when can they see bub?Will it be a case of me holding bub up at a tiny glass window in those double doors so Nan's and Pop's can see their first born grandchild or do they all come in and play pass the baby?

This post has been edited by agdp07: 28/07/2012, 07:59 AM

[bonnybabe]

Hi,

I think you have been watching American TV?

Mostly people do not have their family waiting in the waiting room, but call them when they choose to see visitors. If your wife ends up having an emergency c section, it will be quite a wait for your family. You will be able to bring the baby out, or if she wants visitors they can go in once its all done.

You spend a couple of hours in the delivery room and then make your way back down to a maternity room. Also baby won't be in a 'nursery' like in the old days - there is no more looking at a row of babies sleeping in a room - they are now the nicu babies that need some help.

good luck!

[ZCE]

Most hospitals offer a tour of both the delivery suite and the ward for expectant parents. I'd see if your hospital does that or go one day and walk around to work out where you have to go.

You'll be in the delivery suite for a couple of hours depending upon what time your wife gives birth. I gave birth at 2am and was transferred to the ward at 6.

There was no waiting room at our hospital and any family that was waiting had to wait in the hospital corridor so we discouraged our family from coming in until i was back on the ward. You and your wife will probably want to spend some time just you and baby straight after birth. For me i only had my mother (who'd taken us to hospital) come in about an hour after the birth and then the rest of the family didn't visit until later in the afternoon.

Those women who go home after 24 hours tend to be on their second or hate hospital. I'd recommend your wife try and stay the three days if she plans on breastfeeding. It's surprisingly difficult to get down in those first few days and having a midwife just a buzzer away is really helpful in the middle of the night when baby just won't feed.

[irises]

Yeah, don't tell anyone your wife is in labour, that's my recommendation. There's a high chance it will be middle of the night anyway, and you want those first few hours as a family to yourselves. The last thing your wife will want is a gaggle of relatives hovering anxiously outside waiting for her to push the baby out?? (Unless it's part of your culture, I spose). Give her a chance to clean up, cuddle and feed your new baby, and have a little kip before taking visitors. Good luck.

[soontobegran]

It depends entirely on the dynamics of your family.
There are often grandparents waiting for the birth, if there is no waiting room then they are in the cafeteria but many are around to be introduced to their new grandchild.

You decide what's best for you. If you want time alone you can have it, if you want close relatives to come in soon after the birth you can have that too.
Your wife will be transfered from the delivery suite once her obs are fine and her blood loss is settled....and when there is a bed available in post natal

[Kay1]

I didn't want anyone waiting for me at the hospital - too much pressure. So I gave everyone strict instructions to stay away til they were called.

As it turned out with both I was in labour all day and ended up with a c-section at 5-6pm. With #1 my parents had panicked because they hadn't heard from us for a while and come up to the hospital so as soon as I was wheeled into my room I was told they were there. I was annoyed actually and got DH to send them off for a coffee so I could meet my baby and do the first breastfeed before they came in to meet him.

With #2 we called everyone that night with the news and they came the next day.

Most hospitals do 'rooming in' which means they stay in the room with mum. There is usually a nursery if you need the midwives to watch them for a while and a special care nursery if they need special care but mostly you take care of them in your room and take visitors (check with the hospital what their rules are - they usually have rest times during which no visitors are allowed.)

This post has been edited by Kay1: 28/07/2012, 08:54 AM

[knowsnotmuch]

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This post has been edited by knowsnotmuch: 20/01/2013, 10:38 PM

[AvadaKedavra]

You don' t know this yet, but your job is to protect your wife and child during and after birth. Labour is physically and emotionally demanding. You have NO idea of this before hand. When our first son was born, we hadn't really thought of all this. My husband and mother rushed from the room to call family before the placenta was even delivered, LOL. I had people knocking on the labour room door within an hour, and while it was tolerable that the baby got taken out to see them, it was horrendous when they all insisted they come in and see me too - I was sitting semi-naked in a pool of blood (with a clean sheet hiding it all) still having after-birth contractions and I hadn't had a chance to try and feed the baby. Worst possible time to see visitors! The next four days were then a blur of every man and his dog trekking through to see the baby. Very hard to establish breastfeeding when you have visitors 12 hours a day!

Birth causes huge hormonal shifts upon delivery that can leave women really shaky (not always, but can happen). Your wife will need a bit of time to 'pull herself together', get up, clean up, have a shower etc. Your baby is a brand new human that needs to be eased into a bright cold world after spending its whole life in a warm dark environment. The last thing it needs is being passed from one to another relative.

For our second child, we told no one we were in labour, except my mother who was taking care of our first son. We told no one (except my mother) for 3 hours that the baby had been born, and even my mum only got a phone call an hour later after the placenta was out and the baby had had his first feed and we were snuggled up and I was feeling vaguely normal again. I declined visitors for the first day (except my mother and first son). The baby was not passed to any visitors on the first day - he was sleeping and I didn't want him woken to be passed around. We saw only immediate family and our three closest friends while still in hospital. And everyone else waited a couple weeks to come visit.

It can be hard to keep enthusiastic family at bay, especially with a first child. But your wife will not be in a position to do so, so its your job to!

[Jillian_10]

Seconding the recommendation to go on a hospital tour/attend antenatal class so you can have some familiarity with the environment!

It all depends on the circumstances of birth. If the baby emerges in the usual way, immediately afterwards there are still other things going on for the mum, like placenta, stitches etc.

My situation - mum and dad had come up to Melbourne and stayed at a motel nearby, but it was an all day affair, and they knew they wouldn't come to the hospital til they knew the baby had arrived.

As it was, baby arrived at 1 in the morning. I got stitched up etc, and baby went out (with his dad) to get weighed and dressed at about 3am. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else in the delivery room with us before then, as i had to stay naked till my drip finished, and it was all extremely overwhelming.

Both our parents visited the next morning at about 9 after I'd had a lovely shower and had a chance to get my head round things.

[Joey11]

I can only strongly support PPs in saying that you and particularly your wife need time to recover after the birth and bond with the baby, before others come along. She will be physically and emotionally wrecked - even if she doesn't realise it for a while in the immediate post birth/ post drugs haze. It's nice for family to come but I couldn't think of anything worse than family waiting around outside the delivery suite!

Another thing to consider - although everyone is very excited about the baby, it's not the only new baby and she's not the only one in the hospital who's just given birth. It would be nice for you to be a bit considerate of others and not have huge, noisy family groups in the hospital for hours on end. Even if they are in the corridor/ general areas it is noisy for women in the rooms. And be extra considerate if she shares a room. I had to share a room after I gave birth with DS, between her baby crying all night (mine didn't, he was worryingly placid) and her having noisy visitors all day, I didn't sleep for three days & nights. At all. It was not good. And I had to hobble past them all to get to the bathroom - not fun when you're so tired and sore you can barely walk.

Unless she hates hospitals, don't try to get out of there early. She will need the recovery time, and help with feeding, and just getting used to the baby.

You only get this special time once, make the most of it just between your new baby, your wife and you.

Oh, and do the ward tour.