[AvadaKedavra]

Hi all,

So DS2 is now 14 weeks and his favourite activities are 1. babbling and cooing, and 2. grabbing at anything. Both are very cute, but I'm worried this is getting in the way of him feeding.

He fusses on the breast (not due to wind, I've tried burping) and just wants to pull off and talk to me, or sits around licking my nipple while patting my chest/grabbing at my shirt or hair/waving his arm around in front of his face etc. He will drink for about 2 min at the start until his hunger is sated, and then just play. I've been persisting for 15-20 min on the first side before offering the second, and he'll usually go 1-2 minutes on the second side before losing interest in that one as well.

He hasn't increased the frequency of feeds (he's been feeding 2 hourly during the day and only has one feed between 7 pm and 7 am overnight for six weeks or so), he doesn't seem hungry between feeds, and I'm not getting engorged. He seems to be growing just fine, although I haven't had a checkup since his 8 week check.

Can he really be drinking enough in 2 min each side at 14 weeks? I know they can get efficient, and I do have a pretty strong letdown - but really? THAT quick? Should I just swap sides as soon as he loses interest with the first side rather than keep trying to make him take the first one?

[Amber Spyglass]

Hi - I just noticed this hasn't had any replies yet. Have you had a chat to the ABA or considered seeing a lactation consultant?

[CharliMarley]

Yes they do get more efficient at milking the breast and I would just swap him to the other side and then back to the first side and see if he has had enough. Babies will feed as they want to and he will tell you when he wants another feed and he is probably having some little snacks and will have a big feed either early in the morning or later at night. If you have the nappy count 6-8 very wet nappies and he is healthy and happy (and he sounds like he is happy), then he is fine and don't worry.

[ausmumof2]

Sounds like you might just have an efficient feeder...


I have one that does similar (closer to five months) but he likes to catch up on his feeds at night when there is nothing else to do

[kadoodle]

DD2 was like this. She pretty well only had feeds where it was dark and boring or she would spend the time coming on and off to join in the conversation and thus spraying everyone within spraying distance with milk.

Under a blanket or wrap works well for some people, but she thought it meant peek a boo time.

[KRT]

It could be the start of the distractible stage. Most mothers in my group had babies that would do anything but feed starting at that age.

However, in my case, the sudden drop in feeding times was because of a dramatic decrease in my supply. DS would only feed for a minute or two because there was only that much milk there. I ended up with formula top ups in the short term and on Motilium in the longer term. There were other signs - fewer and not-as-wet nappies - but it was slow enough that I didn't really notice until his 4 month check up showed that he hadn't really gained much since 9 weeks. He wasn't asking for feeds more often and was generally easy to settle. I felt like a terrible, terrible mother for not noticing that he wasn't getting enough.

While I was trying to build up supply again, I would just switch sides every time he came off. The new perspective seemed to capture his attention for a bit and he'd go on to feed more. Even now we change sides at least four times in a feed. The LC I saw was pretty clear that most babies are like that at his age and that the distraction was normal even once my supply had improved!

I think my experience is very abnormal (the LC was very surprised to get a call about a baby my DS's age) but it's easy to rule it out with a quick weigh-in.

[niggles]

My second child is similar MsN. Super efficient, and has very little interest in feeding if anything else is on offer (read 'But mum there's a bird tweeting outside the window I need to give my undivided attention to'). He's 7 months old so I now have the benefit of seeing that his short feeds have done him no damage.

I'm managing by making sure he is really hungry before I'll offer the feed. Even if I know he possibly will take the feed I'll try and wait and give him another little play on the mat and a nappy change. Otherwise I'll be wasting my time. He just doesn't enjoy it enough to want to waste his time on it. Once really hungry, a few minutes and he's done.

The other thing I'm forced to do is switch feed. He'll feed on each side about 6 or 7 times before I get a let down. He absolutely refuses to go back to the same side twice in a row if he isn't instantly gratified with milk. He'll grizzle unceasingly (usually) or stare at a shadow on the wall (if in a particularly good mood) until I put him to the other breast. He then repeats the performance over and over and over again until let down.

My frustration levels after 4 months or so of this behaviour are through the roof and I have no need to lift weights to get my upper body exercise

[rynandstompy]

I could have written most of your post when DD was the same age. I found the Kellymom info on Distractible Baby very helpful.
And moved to wearing a necklace or a scarf for her to play with that wouldn't get easily broken or have small dangerous beads on it. Or at home, moving to a quiet, darkened room during the day feeds so that there was less visual stimulation to interest her.

It is a stage for most babies and will pass But gosh is annoying if you're out at the time, trying to get a feed done and all they want to do is show your boobs to everyone and tell them about it. It doesn't seem like they're drinking enough either, but in hindsight, it does seem to be enough for them at the time.

Best wishes and hope it's less frustrating in future. ABA webpages will also have some good information. As will an LC or ringing the ABA helpline.

[tick]

My DD1 was like this between about 4 and 12 months. Drove me wild! After a while I gave up "day" feeds all together and switched around the routine so that all feeds happened in a darkened room before naps and before bedtime (and overnight). I also played white noise to drown out distractions. When she was on 3 naps a day she'd have four feeds (before each nap and before bed but none on wake up ever), and as she dropped naps, so too were feeds dropped.

Feeds were much longer on the new routine, although I think she fed more overnight to make up for the reduced number of day feeds also.

[shoto]

My second was like this too, and I agree with PP's advice. I also found a breastfeeding necklace (for me) helped. It was a strong chain with a simple but shiny pendant on it. DD would stare at it and gently play with it. It would keep her there a few more minutes, but don't use a precious chain, mine was broken a couple of times!