[pium]

I also felt completely unsexy. Given my cervix was actually protruding at times I felt almost as though I'd grown a penis. I felt ashamed. It was so uncomfortable, it felt like I was getting an all-day pap smear. I cried a lot - one baby - slightly smaller than average, short 2nd stage, I was 30 when I gave birth, fit - I was not high risk for prolapse. DH didn't really understand how unattractive it made (and sometimes still makes) me feel to have this problem - because he said it made no difference at all to him. But it did to me. I worried about all sorts of things when pregnant, but prolapse never occurred to me. And that's what I got!

The only friend I have IRL who knows is a midwife - and I knew I wouldn't have to explain to her what it was and possible witness a recoil or grossed out face.

Now DS is almost 3 - and I really do feel much better physically and mentally. I still have a prolapse, and we're TTC so I expect it to get worse if we succeed and I get pregnant again - but now I know that I won't feel that bad forever.

I run up stairs and down them, jump around the room with DS, and feel healthy and happy and am no longer freaking out about my body when I have sex. I don't feel like my insides are being dragged down by pliers. I can sleep all night (if DS doesn't wake me up) without having to go to the toilet.

nic09, I wouldn't say I don't feel it at all, ever - just like raven if I am inactive or careless (lifting heavy stuff because I am too impatient or proud to ask for help) it gets worse. However, most of the time I really don't notice. Stay hopeful and take care of yourself.

P.S. - prolapse aside, my body did not spring back into shape after having DS - it wasn't until he was 9 months that I felt like I was at least beginning to resemble my former shape, and not until he was 2 that I was almost back where I was before I had him.

[Morti]

I had successful pelvic floor reconstructive surgery for a rectocele and cystocele about 5 years ago. My problems went beyond what could be rectified with pelvic floor exercises and such... but if I'd only had a mild prolapse back then, I'd have just stuck with the exercises.