[KeepTheFaith]

Some background: DH, DD (20 months) and I live in Far North Queensland, and IL' s are in Victoria. They are not happy about our move, but have adjusted as well as they can (think lots of passive aggressive tactics, but nothing too drastic).

I am pregnant with number 2, and due in early September. IL's have told us they want to come and visit for a few weeks once bubs is born - fine. I'm not looking forward to it, as DD will only just be 2, and they are coming when DS will be 3 weeks old, and they are the type of people who create more work than they help out, IYKWIM. MIL is an absolute clean freak, and when she brought her friends to visit DD at my place for the first time (when DD was about 6 weeks old) I made a lovely lunch, had the place spotless, and actually got myself dressed up, only to be told off for not having napkins. I was then given napkins, quite pointedly, for Christmas.

Anyway, we currently have a small 3 bedroom house, in which noise 'travels' as it is all tiled. When DS is born he is going into DD's old room (a tiny bedroom, only big enough for a cot), DD is going into what was the spare bedroom, and DH and I will obviously be in our room. The rest of the house is open plan, so no fold out sofa arrangement is possible. DS will go into the small bedroom as DH works really long hours (and will be back at work by then), I sleep terribly at the best of times, and will need somewhere to nap when he does, and we want the option of having him in another room (even if I sometimes bring him in with me, and then DH goes in and sleeps with DD in the double bed).

So we have told the IL's that when they come to visit we will pay for them to stay at a local resort. They can have my car, and come and go as they like. That way we won't have to worry about who is making noise when, or waking up 2 young kids (IL's tend to be quite noisy), or neither of us getting any sleep. DD is also a terrible sleeper, so can't share with DS, so hopefully this arrangement won't disrupt her too much.

I have now found out that the IL's have cracked it. They have told DH that the next time we come to their place (a large, 4 bedroom house with only them in it) that we can stay at a hotel. DH has been asked to call his father and apologise.

I think we are being sensible - basically 2 kids at 2 and under, one a newborn, in a tiny noisy house. We are paying for their accommodation (2 minutes down the road) and giving them my car. We will need the space. But DH is worried that we have been rude (not what he originally thought, but is now worried after the magnitude of his parent's reaction).

So, what do you think?

This post has been edited by KeepTheFaith: 14/05/2012, 09:43 AM

[RobotFerretOfDoo...]

I think you're being very reasonable and quite generous in paying for the accommodation!

Sorry your ILs are being such muntweasels

[Bluenomi]

So you have a house with no spare bedroom and will have a newborn? I think it is completely reasonable to expect your IL's to stay at a hotel. That fact you are paying for them is amazingly generous. I think your ILs are expecting wayyy to much.

[Erma Gerd]

I think it's totally reasonable, and your in-laws have issues. You'll have a newborn, and you're offering to pay for their accommodation? Obviously it's all about them. Personally I'd be fine with staying in a hotel when next visiting them, assuming the same terms apply (ie they pay for it).

[Guest_Nyz31_*]

I think you're inlaws are selfish knobs! But that's just my opinion.

Stick to your guns.... OR tell them they're welcome to stay at your house and then book yourself into the resort with your newborn.

[jaismum]

I wouldn't have even offered to pay for the accommodation. You have been more than fair and the only people that would owe an apology would be you IL's for overreacting.

Stay at the resort ro don't come at all. Simple

[SlinkyMalinki]

Their reaction shows they're the "all about them" types, so you're definitely better off not having them stay with you.

Good on you for telling them.

[Spring Chickadee]

You are paying for them to stay at a resort, you are being more then reasonable...extremely generous in fact.

I would think it would be reasonable to even say, we've love to see you but unfortunately we don't have the room at our place, you're welcome to book into the local XYZ though. and leave it to them to organise and pay for.

So you are already going above and beyond. your DH should tell them to pull their heads in.

[White-Lily]

I think you're being very reasonable and quite generous in paying for the accommodation!

Sorry your ILs are being such muntweasels

100% Agree.

[follies]

If I was in the IL's position I would choose a free resort over a house with a screaming newborn any day.

Some people just don't see the practically in things.