[Mummy Duck]

Unless you are in a private room then it is not really appropriate having a toddler stay with you for long periods during the day. They will get bored and other Mums and bubs need rest and the chance to recuperate and bond. Your toddler might surprise you and have a chance to be a big girl doing things without you.

We will have a private room and in the event that bd was disturbing others I would get dh to take her home.

I do hope she surprises us and is not upset in the evenings when she will go home with MIL. Bd is used to dh tucking her back to bed when she wakes during the night.

I dont want to exclude bd from the introduction of the new baby.

If the possibility of being put up in a hotel arises than we would definitely take bd with us without question. The hospital we are going to is being upgraded so if its not finished when bubs is born than hotel accommodation is a possibility.

[Mummy Duck]

It would be great to hear how parents have included their toddler.

I appreciate the responses suggesting its best to have short visits however thats not what I want to do.

This will be my 3rd c/section so I know what to expect.

I look forward to any tips on how to manage having bd involved as much as possible and reducing any upset when she goes home without us.

[Princess.cranky....]

DD3 had just turned two when I had DD3. I was in hospital for 12 days and had a C/S.

DD never really missed me. For her life just went on as normal. We made a priority of keeping to her routine. Mum stayed for the 12 days and DD was used to having her around.

I think you should plan on your DH spending more time at home. DH wasn't able to come to the hospital as much as he would like but for us the kids were his priority. I had midwifes in hospital to help me, our other kids needed him at home. On thing we made a point of was DH home every night to do the bath/bedtime routine for DD2.

I have to agree that a hospital is not the place for a toddler to be hanging around all day. DD might be okay for one day but everyday might get a bit much for her. DD didn't come in much because it was boring for her. She was really happy at home and didn't need to be brought in all the time.

I missed my DD but I didn't feel like having her around all day when I felt like crap, sleep deprived and very sore. You need to rest while you get the chance and spend time getting to know your newborn. I loved being in hospital because I got to spend lots of time with my new DD. There is little time for that at home when you have other kids to care for.

And give your DD a chance- she might actually be happy at home. Plan some fun things for DH to do with her. It's a good chance for Daddy and daughter time. Just be flexible- things might work out differently to the way you have planed it.

[winterlove]

Sorry too quick to reply. Just read that you really want your daughter to stay over - my post was just an outline of how my DS was fine visiting a couple of times. He seemed to get really bored at the hospital.

Hope you can find a solution which suits you and your family.

This post has been edited by winterlove: 07/05/2012, 01:55 PM

[howdo]

It would be great to hear how parents have included their toddler.

I appreciate the responses suggesting its best to have short visits however thats not what I want to do.

This will be my 3rd c/section so I know what to expect.

I look forward to any tips on how to manage having bd involved as much as possible and reducing any upset when she goes home without us.

But it's your first c/s with a toddler if I am reading correctly. Have you had much experience with 18mth-3yos in a hospital visiting scenario?

They don't generally do it too well. DD1 managed about 15 minutes of interest in the new baby before she was trying to leave the room. DH spent most of the visits trying to entertain her by walking the corridors. So eventually he would leave her with my parents and come in alone. My parents would bring her to visit for 20-30 minutes in the early afternoon and then take her home.

When DS was born and the DDs were 2 and 3.5 they spent most of the time running in and out of the curtain at the doorway of my bedroom. Even private rooms in hospital hold little interest for toddlers.

If you are absolutely keen to have her there then ensure she is accompanied by DH all the time as supervision is constant - nurses keep opening the door and leaving it open for example, there are powerpoints uncovered and lots of buttons and switches all over the room. My kids would always gravitate towards that big red button in the toilet ... I would bring a portable DVD player probably, anything to keep her entertained because they aren't able to do much with a newborn especially while you are establishing breastfeeding and the baby is sleeping.

Hope your birth goes well.

[Flutter Bug]

My DD coped really well, she was 22 months when DD2 was born.

I also had a c-section and DH stayed in hospital with me too every night. She was looked after at our home by my mum and dad.

She was happy to come for short visits but got quite bored at the hospital. I know you say that you would like your BD to spend a good chunk of the day in hospital with you but I would reconsider this as it can be quite boring for them and you will also need a good amount of rest after having a c/s.

Can you give her a few 'practice' overnight stays with your MIL and maybe some daytime play dates during the coming weeks so that she gets used to it?

Mum and Dad made sure our DD1 was well entertained and busy with visits to the park, walk, pram walks etc. while also keeping up her daily routine so that there was minimal disruption to her home life before baby arriving home.

We talked with DD1 A LOT about what was going to happen for weeks before DD2 was born. We bought her a book about becoming a 'Big Sister' and read it every day - it's still one of her favourite books! We talked about how we would both be in hospital, about the baby being born, that mummy would have a very sore tummy etc..

[Mummy Duck]

Can you give her a few 'practice' overnight stays with your MIL and maybe some daytime play dates during the coming weeks so that she gets used to it?

As Ive already posted MIL dosnt offer to babysit and it feels an imposition to ask for more than is necessary. As it is she is only making herself available for 3 out of the 5 days we will be in hospital.

[Pup-pup]

I haven't read all the replies. But I had a c-section with DD2, my DD1 was 18mths. I also found it very difficult, and relied on nurses a lot - to get out of bed or get DD2 out of the bassinet. But DH's job was to look after DD1 at home and keep her in her normal routine. She visited once each day and sometimes we'd have my mother or mother in law mind her for an hour or two in the day so my DH could visit me alone. I found it very very hard having DD1 in the hospital, although I wanted to see her everyday, as she was into everything, wanted to give me cuddles or climb on me. She was more into me and the hospital gadgets than the baby. But this may be slightly different for an older toddler. I think if you want the least disruption to your toddler, then your DH should be with her and not with you 24/7.

[halcyodays]

My 2 year old hated any sort of change, but was reasonably happy at home with DH, Mil and FIL.
He got bored in hospital, lasted about 15 minutes in the room with me reading books, but quickly became upset- wanted to be breast fed too etc etc.(and hadn't breast fed since he was 6 months old). He also pulled out every electric cord and reacted badly to being told not to do something.

I really wanted DH with me, but it was kinder to my toddler for DH to be at home with him. I relied on the nurses to help me.