[Rosiepose]

Thanks for all the replys. My parents did visit every day and were with me in the hospital and are wonderful. They have helped a lot are always helping. We have the best relationship. I think they just show their love in other ways which is absolutely fine. Maybe as someone suggested that everyone was caught up in the Christmas season, and I was very sick during and after the Caesar, so their minds were probably elsewhere. It's more my extended family and friends. I feel like we go to the trouble of recognizing other family members children that are born, So I was sad when mine was not thought of at all ( not just in the form of gifts, but no phone calls or texts or cards etc). I would have loved to have had cards to show her and put in her baby book etc. I have talked to my sister about it and she thinks it's because it was around Christmas. I really, really don't care about gifts or flowers. I would just have loved for her to have been thought of and people be excited that she is finally here. We do a daily diary for her with a picture of her every single day in her first year so she has something to look back on.
It probably brought this feeling up because I bought my cousin a lovely piece of clothing to send to her new baby in a dark purple color with white flowers on it. When I showed my Mum what I was sending her, she thought I should send something pink and got a bit annoyed that I was going to send a girl something dark purple ( I don't know why because it was gorgeous!) it just got me thinking that I would have been so grateful if ANYONE had of thought of my girl. I wouldn't have cared if they sent her something black lol, just knowing she was thought of would have been enough. Maybe I'm over reacting? Im a nurse, so see a lot of the new babies on the maternity ward, so I know that a lot of babies are thought of by their friends and extended family when they are born.

[canuckmel]

Could a lot of it be that perhaps there have been other babies in the family and the 'novelty' has worn off a bit? I know when my last was born, she was my MILs 12th grandchild and FILs 24th grandchild (by then, he also had two great grandchildren too) and they seemed a bit disinterested compared to when my first was born and was 'only' the 4th and 6th grandchild respectively.

I know it's probably not what you want to here, but sometimes the 'novelty' wears off for other family after a few babies and leads to family appearing disinterested.

This post has been edited by canuckmel: 04/05/2012, 12:12 AM

[-al-]

There is no excuse for the behaviour of your family and friends not acknowledging your childs birth, however this has more to do with their being self absorbed at a busy time of year than anything else. They should have welcomed and celebrated her arrival particularly after the long journey that lead to her arrival, but dont take it personally just as a lesson on how self absorbed others are.
My DD was born 11 wks early, my mother didnt bother visiting until DD was home and well over a month old - she still has not not provided any support! (15 years later) Hard to believe she was worse with my DS, yet for my sisters children she has taken weeks off work to help my sister out and purchased almost every item they needed - including a car! (we were a single income family, my sister had been double income for many years) when my mother spoke to me on the phone she would forget to ask about my children because she was too busy asking what she should buy for sisters children. It hurt a lot at the time, but at some point I came to realise my mother doesnt go out of her way to be hurtful, she just doesnt put thought into her actions. I also accepted my part in the situation; in displaying strength through DDs battles, I may have given the impression I didnt want/need her there, when that was far from the truth.(not implying you had a part in your situation though)
I know my children are blessed to have DH and I as the ones they know they can rely on, we are a very close unit because of this.
Your daughter will always be the apple of your eye, dont let others short comings affect the quality of the time you have with her, rejoice in her smile and the joy she brings you.

[Bek+3]

Hate to say it but seems like your miracle may have been caught up in the Christmas rush - bloody bloody families!!!
Don't frett - you might be pleasantly surprised this Christmas.

Yep, my baby was born on the 19th of December 2011 and this is exactly what happened!!

No advice OP but I do understand how you feel and your vent is completely valid. huge congrats from me though on the birth of your DD.

[BadgerBasher]

I care about your baby
A huge congratulations on your gorgeous baby girl

[Sweetpea11]

Sorry thats happened to you OP
Could your sister maybe ask your parents something like "What did you get Rosiepose for her baby's arrival again?". Could be they just need their memory jogged that they haven't given you something yet in all the Christmas mayhem.

Sometimes its hard when you feel like you always acknowledge other people's special moments in life (engagements, weddings, births, birthdays etc) and yet when it's finally your turn to want to celebrate something special it's just dead air (metaphorically speaking!). I've felt that way myself at times.

Take heart that your baby is the luckiest baby in the world to have you as a mum. You will always celebrate her exciting moments, make her feel special and when she has a baby one day you'll be able to make a huge fuss over her children

And maybe take note of those that didn't acknowledge your baby for future reference...!

[kyte]

Thanks for all the replies. My parents did visit every day and were with me in the hospital and are wonderful. They have helped a lot are always helping. We have the best relationship. I think they just show their love in other ways which is absolutely fine. Maybe as someone suggested that everyone was caught up in the Christmas season, and I was very sick during and after the Caesar, so their minds were probably elsewhere. It's more my extended family and friends.

If you were unwell before and after the birth then I imagine your Mum was worried sick at that time and the last thing she would have been thinking of was popping out to buy a card or a gift. Then came Christmas, and helping you once you came home, so I would cut her and your Dad some slack there and let it go. Other people really could have taken the time to at least send a message, if not a card or gift, but I think as PPs have suggested that Christmas probably distracted them.

I think the dark purple with white flowers baby outfit sounds gorgeous, and you seem like a lovely friend who always marks the birth of friends and family member’s babies. Don’t let what has happened stop you from doing that because, as I’m sure you know, it can bring a lot of joy to the gift giver as well as the recipient.

[Jenflea]

I personally try to avoid pink if possible for my daughter. I fail to see why her vagina means she can ONLY wear pink. Plus purple is my favorite colour
Now she's 2, HER favorite colour is blue...and it's REALLY hard to find blue girl's clothes!
I would also make sure you mention your daughter's birthday A LOT in the leadup so no one forgets her first birthday, even if it is near Christmas. I have a friend born ON Christmas Day and he's not forgotten(though he's nearly 40 now, so years of getting it right I guess).

[meggs1]

Congratulations on your baby girl, from another IVF mum (8 cycles).

It doesn't help, but I bet it is the Christmas thing. People are so stressed out that time of year, they are away, hosting people, it probably just slipped their minds.

Now watch out, because the same thing might happen on her first birthday. I'm an 18 December girl and am always getting forgotten in the Christmas rush. Or getting combined presents Or when I was a kid it was hard to schedule my party as my friends would all be going away.

Could you have a 6 months celebration tea?

Plus what Jenflea said.

[LeChatNinjah]

I care about your baby, too!

Congratulations, and give her a cuddle from me.

And pooh to those who didn't acknowledge her birth - I'd be sad too, if I were you.