[Joey11]

I am in the same situation re: bottlefeeding. I found it more stressful going out in the first few weeks when I was trying to both breastfeed then top up with formula. Just bottlefeeding when out can be comparatively easy - although it did take me a good few weeks to get comfortable with feeding while out (DS is now 8 weeks).

I found it much less stressful going out when I accepted that I couldn't get out and back between feeds, so instead found strategies to feed and change when I was out and accepted that what used to be a short errand would take a long time with baby along!

It can also take a long time to leave the house - I haven't made it out before 11am so far. Today it took me until 1pm just to get out of the house for a walk.

I have the boiled water already measured in the bottles, then I got some small containers and put the measured formula in that (or put a some in a jar with the scoop to measure when needed), then mix it when I want to use it. I also keep a 'keep-cup" in the nappy bag, so I can just ask a cafe to half-fill it with hot water and warm the bottle that way. You could also ask them to put some hot water in a mug or take-away cup for you. You could also warm the water up before you leave home and keep it in an insulated bag - that may work for the first feed out anyway. Shopping centre mother and baby rooms also have microwaves, so you can heat water in the keep-cup. It's best not to microwave the bottles themselves.

Although it is nicer to have the formula warmed, it is also fine to give it to baby not warmed,as long as it's room temperature not fridge-cold (I found that a great relief - knowing that if I was caught short without a way of heating it up I could still feed). It's a good idea to take more bottles than you think you'll need - you never know when baby will only want a half-feed then want another one quickly!

You could start with just an hour walk around the neighbourhood, or a walk to a local shop or cafe. Public libraries usually have a room you can use to feed and change (although there's not hot water or microwave). Otherwise, go to one of the big shopping centres that have baby rooms - some of them are really great (Doncaster, Northlands, Melbourne Central, Myer Melbourne to name a few).

My baby was also very sleepy to start with and I had to wake him to feed. I was quite anxious for several weeks about making sure he didn't go too long, and have only started relaxing about it a bit in the last few weeks, also he has got keener on demanding a feed. However, having a sleepy baby can actually be good for getting out of the house. We have taken DS out to parties and dinner at the pub with friends since he was two weeks old, and he would usually sleep right through! We would just time it to go after a feed and leave before he'd need the next one at first.

I slept through all of my visitors for the first week at least, with DP fielding visitors (mostly his family), so I can't help you with that one. Most people should be fairly understanding if you tell them what you need to do. I also asked everyone who came to bring me cake!

The most important thing is that your job right now is only to look after baby and yourself. And, if possible, enjoy this time! Everything else (clean house, laundry, even showering) is a distant second!

[LullaMae]

hi there, i also got quite anxious about others holding DS in the very early days - I found it helped to have a few "excuses" stored up e.g. - they are very chucky/have just had a feed, I wouldn't want them to throw up on your outfit; i think i smell a nappy that needs changing; etc. (you could even maybe say something along the lines that DS has had a cold/cough and MCHN advised that while immune system is low, only mum and dad should hold - who are they to argue?)
Re going out, the more you do it, they more at ease you'll feel, but its definitely easiest to have a second person with you if you are feeling nervous.
Hope this helps!

[Joey11]

As for formula, the deal is this. You boil the water the night before and measure it out into bottles. Then you buy a formula dispenser, which can carry 3- 4 feeds ands measure that out.

Big W has these containers for $3.

[premmie_29weeks]

You sound just like I was with DS1 . I was so anxious and highly stressed in those first 3-4 months. DS had reflux and we had problems after his circumcision which lead to being back in hospital in the 2nd week. So we really begun parenthood with a baptism of fire...

In hindsight I think the key is to take any advice you need from one source you trust, like your MCN at the local clinic, rather than reading 16 different books, calling every helpline etc etc. As you get more experienced you'll learn to let advice you don't like wash over you. and figure out your own way of doing things. Ignore anyone who hasn't had kids, they don't know and those that do, should know better than to patronise a new mother

Re getting out you need to be a bit organised. I found having the nappy bag always placked ready to go helps. Make sure you have the stroller in the car or house depending on where you plan to go the night before. I also gae up BF'ing early too so I know where your coming from there. I make up feeds at night for the following day. I have a cold pack to take with me. I take warm water and formula separate and mix when I want to feed.

Try to limit the visitors, or have them over to actually "help" like folding your washing, feeding baby while you shower, or bring a meal. I also had a huge contingent in hospital and I think that had some to do with being too overwhelmed and tired to contiinue Bfing.

I'm onto number 2 now and its ssooooo different this time, The first time is a huge life change not to mention having no idea what you are doing. I regret not enjoying DS1's first few months more. It felt like I was alway waiting for things to get easier rather than trying to appreciate each stage for what it was.

I'm sure your doing a great job. Remember a successful day in those first few weeks is one where everyone has slept a bit, eaten a bit, has something clean to wear and had a wash Nearly 2 years later I still think like that now with an 20 month and 2 month old