[katieface84]

OP Im really sorry for your loss.

My younger brother took his own life 3 months ago and I still dont think Ive fully come to terms with the fact that I wont ever see him again.

It is starting to hit now as I am due to have my second baby and I dont think it will seem complete without him there to meet her (my 2 1/2 yr old DS adored him and still asks about him ALL of the time which is heartbreaking).

In my situation, life has had to go on, whether I like it or not. I still have to get up for my little boy every day and I still have to take care of myself being pregnant (there have been days I have wished I could drown my sorrows, luckily I cant)

I worry that once this baby comes I may lose it a bit, Im scared with the lack of sleep, hormones etc I will collapse and it will all go to cr*p. If it does I guess I will deal with it then.

Take care of yourself, there is no right or wrong way of grieving x

[ellebelle]

Yes - it's weird Cowgirl. I likened it to Survivor when Jeff puts out your flame....you're just gone. It has made me feel very insignificant in the scheme of things and determined that I mean something to the people tha matter to me.

[Infinite*Hope]

Well this grief thing sucks. I have cried most of the day today, but it's also triggered by other factors in my life, but as of today, I have cried. I keep getting 'flashbacks' (for want of a better word) to my uncles passing. As I said in my OP, it was a peaceful passing, the kind you want it to be when you are present, but it's just hitting me that I saw him die. I watched my mother's dear brother leave this earth forever. And then I sat at his bedside and walked through his room while he was in bed, dead. Oh I know this all sounds harsh, but I don't know how else to put it.

So I have gone from the not being able to cry, to the can't stop picturing it all. I guess it's just the next step.