[lovebeingamum76]

Hi all

How on earth do you move on when you know another baby is just not going to happen???? Apart from not being able to handle the SK atm medically I have been told not to have another baby....I know deep down it would be stupid to have one so I wont do it but i get so sad to think I will not have another bub in my arms one day....
I start thinking ok well ill concentrate on me now my 2 kids are at school but I have such sad days it makes me think well maybe I could try for 1 more bub.Stupid!!!!!!!!

Obviuosly today is one of my sad days.............

[paddyboo]

I have no advice but I am sorry. I know how you feel though. I know we may never get another bub. It's a horrible thing. Do you work or have a hobby you put time into?

[KT1978]

We are the same but over time I'm slowly accepting us.

It's worse when I dwell on the "chances" of it happening, if I think it won't happen it's easier to move on. Hoping that it can happen after dp finishes chemo adds stress. If anything the last few years of ttc and dp getting sick, not being able to try right now has helped me in some way because I'm not in that desperate ttc panic anymore.

I try not to dwell on things like dd not having siblings. I just get in a downward spiral.

Try to focus on the easiness of having one nine year old - financially we are in a great place, we can go on overseas holidays, out for dinner etc. only a few years and she's in high school and I can do what I want career wise. We can make spur of the moment decisions like let's go skiing next weekend - can't do that with a baby.

[*~*ME*~*]

I have also been told no more, but i do have 4 and i know i have been blessed. Its just when the decision is made for you, its not fair

[itsaboysworld]

I know the feeling too. I dont know how you get past it, except to look at the practical reasons not to and repeat them to yourself often enough that it gives your some perspective. I dont think anything stops it from being completely heartwrenching though, no matter how many kids youve had or why you cant have more.

[strawberrycakes]

I understand how your feeling. My DH & I can not have children naturally, I have one child only & funding another cycle of IVF/ICSI is just so out of our realm that we will not be having anymore children.

My DD starts school next year so to cope we concentrate on all the positives that can come through not having another child & in turn me not having to be a sahm anymore.

I am currently studying and fingers crossed but it looks like I may be returning to full time work very soon. DH & I are planning a holiday & looking forward to having some financial stress removed from having two wages again after nearly 5 years of being on one wage.

I have had time to come to terms with not having any more children & after 12 mths I am OK with it. I am looking forward to getting a personal life back to some extent & although I do worry that DD may be lonely being an only child we know that once she is at daycare & then school full time she will make some good friendships.

Some days I look at babies or pregnant women & I get that little pang of jealousy but I just try & remind myself of the positives & just be thankful that I am able to experience motherhood at all.

Best wishes

[EssentialBludger]

I understand. I sometimes feel a pang when I see a pregnant woman or a newborn. But I need to be honest with myself, the pregnancy and newborn stage is the only bit that I truly love. I don't do toddlers well. So I just repeat to myself "babies turn into toddlers". Over and over again.

[lovebeingamum76]

Thanks ladies...I am trying to get myself into work again.I have just doing cert 3 in child studies and hope to get into FDC one I do a couple of things to my house.I still want to be here for the kids morning and afternoon so this is the best job for me so I can be here ATM. I am hoping once I get stuck into that things will get better......
I was pretty much a single mum and loved the newborn- 4 year old stage lol....Now they drive me nuts but love them to pieces lol..

This post has been edited by lovebeingamum76: 17/04/2012, 12:01 PM

[Peace&Love]

It does get slightly easier as time goes on but you do have your days (hugs)

[saxa]

I can't have anymore children we have one DS who is 8.

I pretty much feel the same way as KT1978.

It does get easier as the time goes on the hardest part for me was having the decision taken away from me thanks to cancer and having to have a hysterectomy.

It has been 6 years now and there are times I do still get a little sad, but no where near as much as I used to.