[Luxe]

I think your being a responsible parent. You choose to parent, she's gone the 'friend' option. Her kids sound like they have no discipline or sense of responsibility or manners.

I hope to parent just like you when the time comes.

[jaismum]

Recently a close family member said to me I was too hard on my 5 year old DD. I was completely shocked! Her examples are -

I make her sit with the family at the table at meal times and she doesn't leave the table until she has eaten enough vegies - I don't serve her huge plates. She also has to ask to leave.

I make sure she uses her manners, and don't allow her to interrupt when people are talking. She has learnt to wait patiently, and is given our attention if she does so.

She has a set bedtime

She isn't allowed soft drink and sometimes gets juice, but only at dinner time.

DD is made to pick up toys and clothes she leaves on the floor, she sets the table at night and has just started learning to make her bed.

Her time playing things like iphones/dsi's/wii's is limited (her children including the 5 year old all have ipod touches which DD will NOT be getting anytime in the near future)

Oh and the last was a cracker - I won't let her go to the Lady Gaga concert this year, DH & I think there is plenty of time for that kind of thing when she's an adult - her middle child, 7 at the time - went to two years ago.

Now, every example is completely contradicted by the other persons style of parenting - though I have never judged or commented to her, its not my business what she does. Her kids eat and drink whatever - wherever, if they eat at all, stay up as late as they want, answer back, interrupt all the time and I've never heard the younger two use manners unless they are taking something from me because I don't hand it over without a thank you. btw her kids are 14, 9 and 5.

I was pretty insulted. DD is a well rounded little girl, she is polite, kind and gentle - and healthy. Rarely do we have problems with tantrums and she is well behaved a majority of the time.

Tell me - am I too "hard"? I considered what I was doing was teaching her to be polite and learn valuable lessons, but perhaps I'm wrong.

Awesome - I'm printing this out to flaunt when I get told I'm to easy going and I'm too soft with my almost 4 year old. We have the same rules in our home

[snugglybug]

Sounds like responsible parenting to me!? My 4yr old helps set the table, unstack the dishwasher(sometimes), cleans her room (with help) and picks up after herself and has a set bed time.

When we're out I'm more easy going about meals and drinks, we don't go out very often. But manners are always insisted on.

Don't let it get to you.

[melski1]

Pretty much the same here. If you're a hard ass, then so are most people who've posted here.

All power to us I say. Imagine raising kids to be patient, respect their elders and use their manners!

This post has been edited by melski1: 13/04/2012, 08:49 PM

[doctorseuss]

We have the same rules with DD1 - but no juice at dinner ever (it's a special treat here). We havent started with bed making, and setting table is a "sometimes" chore. Set bed times have been enforced this year and made life do much better for all of us.

Your family member is a shocker....

[Mama Midwife]

I think I sit in the middle of both types of parenting though I parent a little more like you. I expect manners and polite behaviour, am a bit relaxed with soft drinks and juice. I allow my kids to be kids when plying but over the top rough housing or making a mess, being at our house or outside of the home is not tolerated. My kids do have a few chores, like keeping their room clean and doing the dishes. Their diets are quite wholesome with a little bit of "junk" mixed in. They do have iPods and Nintendo ds. A Lady Gaga concert would be totally out of the question.
My point? Be happy with your parenting. You are a good mother. But don't judge your friend too harshly, even if she's judging you. I must admit, that I was more strict with my first and as I had more children I relaxed a little, as I was simply too tired to fight the smaller stuff. You may find you become more relaxed with your parenting style as time goes by.

[jennywin]

You both sound wrong.
You are too hard, she is too soft. If only you could meet somewhere in the middle, it would be a happy world!. Where mums didnt have to have the same parenting methods, but they were still seen as good parents. Why bother critisizing each other, you both sound fine.

[Jemstar]

If you're a hard-a*se I'd hate to see what she thinks of me! On top of your list, my children also each have a list of jobs to do around the house. They are 5, 7 on Sunday and 9.

I'm buggered if my kids are going to grow up thinking they can free-load off us and treat us like sh*t.

This post has been edited by Jemstar: 13/04/2012, 09:23 PM

[Koufuku]

I have friends who think I'm a monumental cow for imposing the same 'strict' rules on my children. I have a feeling that they are aware that they aren't doing such a great job, and try to make themselves feel better by pointing out my parenting 'faults'.

Nothing gets my blood boiling faster than a child who never uses manners. SO revolting!

[Pooks*potters]

Your parenting style suits you and your family and you have a healthy happy child. Same could probably be said for you friend. Honestly, different things work for different people. I think people should keep their mouths shut unless they're asked for advice or there are really serious health/safety concerns.