[MummyHayles]

Recently a close family member said to me I was too hard on my 5 year old DD. I was completely shocked! Her examples are -

I make her sit with the family at the table at meal times and she doesn't leave the table until she has eaten enough vegies - I don't serve her huge plates. She also has to ask to leave.

I make sure she uses her manners, and don't allow her to interrupt when people are talking. She has learnt to wait patiently, and is given our attention if she does so.

She has a set bedtime

She isn't allowed soft drink and sometimes gets juice, but only at dinner time.

DD is made to pick up toys and clothes she leaves on the floor, she sets the table at night and has just started learning to make her bed.

Her time playing things like iphones/dsi's/wii's is limited (her children including the 5 year old all have ipod touches which DD will NOT be getting anytime in the near future)

Oh and the last was a cracker - I won't let her go to the Lady Gaga concert this year, DH & I think there is plenty of time for that kind of thing when she's an adult - her middle child, 7 at the time - went to two years ago.

Now, every example is completely contradicted by the other persons style of parenting - though I have never judged or commented to her, its not my business what she does. Her kids eat and drink whatever - wherever, if they eat at all, stay up as late as they want, answer back, interrupt all the time and I've never heard the younger two use manners unless they are taking something from me because I don't hand it over without a thank you. btw her kids are 14, 9 and 5.

I was pretty insulted. DD is a well rounded little girl, she is polite, kind and gentle - and healthy. Rarely do we have problems with tantrums and she is well behaved a majority of the time.

Tell me - am I too "hard"? I considered what I was doing was teaching her to be polite and learn valuable lessons, but perhaps I'm wrong.

[Nofliesonme]

Sounds like my house, I must be a hard a*se tooo.lol

[Avogadro]

I think that you're just stricter than the other mum.

Also - your 5yo is your eldest, her 5yo is the youngest - with a 14 yo sibling. Makes a huge difference (especially to things like drinking soft drink etc).

Don't lose any sleep over it.

[Zarlias]

Prefaced with *I am not yet a parent* but

If I could instil half of those traits into my future child I would be a happy mum.

I have worked with children for 15 years and everything that you want your DD to be is positive IMO.

Z

[follies]

Your friend sound slack.

[Jenflea]

My daughter's 2 next week and you sound like you're doing what we will be.
She's been taking the cat's dinner over to her for the last few months pretty much every night since she could walk.
She'll be helping out around the house when she's old enough. Same as I did as a child. I refuse to raise a rude kid who can't boil an egg when she leaves home!
And I HATE kids who interrupt adults constantly! Yes, I know they say "excuse me" but its still pretty rude. Adults wait their turn, kids can learn to as well!

[Lil Chickens]

I'm the same parent as you by the sounds of it! People say I am tough on my DD but I'd rather have a polite, respectful child.

I'd keep doing as you are.

[Guest_tigerdog_*]

At least your daughter isn't going to turn around and bite you on your (hard) ass! I think your style of parenting will hold your child in good stead as she grows up into an adult - letting kids get away with murder is really doing them a disservice when it comes to preparing them for a functional, happy adulthood.

[Pearson]

who cares?
Instill your values in your child, and let her instill her values in her child.

IMO, I think what you are doing is great.

[ubermum]

I'm super tough by her "ahem" standards too.