[MummyHayles]

Recently a close family member said to me I was too hard on my 5 year old DD. I was completely shocked! Her examples are -

I make her sit with the family at the table at meal times and she doesn't leave the table until she has eaten enough vegies - I don't serve her huge plates. She also has to ask to leave.

I make sure she uses her manners, and don't allow her to interrupt when people are talking. She has learnt to wait patiently, and is given our attention if she does so.

She has a set bedtime

She isn't allowed soft drink and sometimes gets juice, but only at dinner time.

DD is made to pick up toys and clothes she leaves on the floor, she sets the table at night and has just started learning to make her bed.

Her time playing things like iphones/dsi's/wii's is limited (her children including the 5 year old all have ipod touches which DD will NOT be getting anytime in the near future)

Oh and the last was a cracker - I won't let her go to the Lady Gaga concert this year, DH & I think there is plenty of time for that kind of thing when she's an adult - her middle child, 7 at the time - went to two years ago.

Now, every example is completely contradicted by the other persons style of parenting - though I have never judged or commented to her, its not my business what she does. Her kids eat and drink whatever - wherever, if they eat at all, stay up as late as they want, answer back, interrupt all the time and I've never heard the younger two use manners unless they are taking something from me because I don't hand it over without a thank you. btw her kids are 14, 9 and 5.

I was pretty insulted. DD is a well rounded little girl, she is polite, kind and gentle - and healthy. Rarely do we have problems with tantrums and she is well behaved a majority of the time.

Tell me - am I too "hard"? I considered what I was doing was teaching her to be polite and learn valuable lessons, but perhaps I'm wrong.

[mrsgm]

Sounds very similar to my style too....

I love that ds4 has manners, can sit well at a restaurant without running around like a maniac, and makes his bed in the morning and tidies his room at the end of the day.

Everyone is different of course and has to do what they are comfortable with, but dont take it as a criticism...it sounds like your dd is a lovely child and you are oing a great job