[BradandMak]

OK, SIL is finally engaged. YAY She has asked DD (5) & DS (7) to be flower girl and page boy. Which they are super excited about.

She has said that the kids will only be there for the ceremony and that there will not be any kids at the reception. No problems.

Then she tells me that the wedding will be held 3.5 HOURS away!!!!! WTF, so what am i supposed to do with the kids during the reception???

I am completely befuddled. I dont know what to do, what im expected to do.

I need your advice...

[3_for_me]

Personally I'd call her bluff and decline the request based on the fact that you have no care for them there, she'll either provide care or realise maybe she needs to make an exception if she really wants them there.

I have no issue with childfree weddings, etc but it has to be in the realms of intelligent and reasonable. My brother is getting married in Bali in September, he thought my daughter was coming and told me he would organise a nanny to care for her(she isn't coming with me so doesn't matter but the point still stands)

[B.L.J]

Can you take your Mum or someone you trust to watch your kids with you?

I'm assuming you're going to have to get a hotel for the night so I would just grab another room. Then you can just take the kids back there for the reception.

[melaine]

That's tricky!

First off - I don't have an issue with children free weddings as long as the couple are happy that someone people might not come to the wedding because of that decision.

But seriously, asking children to be flower girl/page boy and then not letting them come to the reception is a bit rude, add in that you are 3.5 hours away and I assume not near anyone you know for babysitting then it sounds like your sister in law hasn't thought the logistics through. Before you have kids you don't necessarily think about babysitting issues!

If I had babysitting for the kids at home (which it sounds like you do since you said it wasn't a problem till you found out how far away the wedding was) then I think I'd make the decision that the kids might have to miss the whole thing, but I imagine they would be pretty upset by that.

WHy is the wedding in that particular place? DOes someone in the wedding party live there - would there be someone you could find to look after the kids for the time of the reception?

[CubaLulu]

Will you be staying at a hotel for the night or driving to the wedding and back? If staying just hire a babysitter for the hotel afterwards? If driving back, it's not really a reasonable request that they don't attend the reception. I'd just talk with her honestly about it and try to come up with a solution.

[lozoodle]

I'm all for no kids at weddings, but I find it strange to have them as part of the bridal party yet not allow them at the reception. I think that is something I would make an exception on!

Just explain the situation, say you'd love for them to be part of it however you will need to have them at the reception - otherwise you'll have to arrange other care for them and not have them as part of the wedding.

Or like a PP suggested, if staying at a hotel, check with the hotel as they often have lists of recommended babysitters - perhaps you could hire one for a few hours?

This post has been edited by lozoodle: 13/04/2012, 09:46 AM

[**Xena**]

I'd talk to her and ask her what excatly you are expected to do with the children. It would be one thing if they were completely uninvited but she can't expect them to come to the ceremony and then not the reception when you aren't anywhere near home.

[Jemstar]

SIL probably hasn't thought it through, perhaps ask her what arrangements she plans to put in place for the kids while you're all at the reception?

You could organize a babysitter yourself I suppose, but I have to say I would be annoyed about it too (and generally I am one of those 'the couple gets to choose' types). I do think though, that if the children are part of the wedding party then they should go to the reception too, I find it rather odd that she wants to exclude them from that.

Surely common sense will prevail and she will see it's a bit of an unwieldy situation for you?

This post has been edited by Jemstar: 13/04/2012, 09:49 AM

[PrincessPeach]

Personally I'd call her bluff and decline the request based on the fact that you have no care for them there, she'll either provide care or realise maybe she needs to make an exception if she really wants them there.

I have no issue with childfree weddings, etc but it has to be in the realms of intelligent and reasonable. My brother is getting married in Bali in September, he thought my daughter was coming and told me he would organise a nanny to care for her(she isn't coming with me so doesn't matter but the point still stands)

Yep, i agree.

Even though, a lot of adult only weddings i have attended (most of them actually), the flower girl & page boy are at the reception & at 5 & 7, I would have thought they would be pretty easy to entertain quietly at a formal reception (books, ipad's, DS's).

[threelittlegems]

Just deal with it practically.

Tell SIL that your children will participate in the ceremony, but only if you can find a babysitter.