[Pandorasbox]

Definitely call the ABA...you can also join a milk bank to get human milk rather than feeding him formula and confusing him (human milk 4 human babies), and use a lactaid to feed him so he doesn't get nipple confusion. Also, I would consider calling a lactation consultant and getting some one on one help - it helped me enormously and now I can feed in a sling whilst shopping or having a pedicure - I look like a natural but I sure didn't start that way! I am so glad I persevered.

Have a look on EB too, there are some great threads with good tips from many lovely ladies.

ETA - Buy Ina May's guide to breastfeedung - some great tips.

This post has been edited by Pandorasbox: 11/04/2012, 07:28 PM

[Ronale]

You sound really worried and concerned for your baby. Babies can be really hard work in the first few weeks, and you sound like you're doing a great job to be supportive for your partner, and helping her to care for Kelly. That is fantastic.
Others have suggested calling the ABA helpline - this is a great suggestion - 1800686268 - trained breastfeeding counsellors will take your call and provide information on breastfeeding and support for your situation. They are happy to talk with dads who are caring for a breastfed baby, so please don't feel like you can't call just because you aren't the one breastfeeding. If Mum is home and wants to talk about how she is feeling about breastfeeding and how it is presently working for her, they are also happy to talk with her - they are there to support mothers to breastfeed, not to judge them if they find that breastfeeding is not going to work.
Good luck with everything, and congratulations on your little boy.

[deejie]

No one ever tells you that breastfeeding is natural, but not easy! Mum and baby both have to learn to breastfeed together and it takes time. The first few weeks are always the trickiest, especially when you get off to a rocky start.

The basics of breast milk is supply = demand. The more you feed your baby formula, the more it interferes with this process. The breasts think that "less" milk is required, so they make less. It can quickly become a vicious cycle that can be difficult to break. It also doesn't help that babies are clever creatures-- they can feed so much easier from a bottle. They don't have to work as hard to get the flow going, it flows quickly and freely. Who wouldn't want to work less for a meal? They can sometimes develop a preference for the bottle over the breast which makes getting them back to the breast difficult at times. It also means they can drink enormous quantities in a bottle because it flows so quickly they don't get the "full sensation" that tells them to stop feeding as quick as they would feeding from a breast. I am not telling you this to dishearten you, more so that you and your wife can see where the problems are coming from.

I think it is important at this stage that you seek professional advice. The breastfeeding forum has a pinned sticky on how to find a lactation consultant in your area. They can visit your home, watch a feed and provide a plan to help get your wife's supply up and the baby feeding effectively at the breast. This might involve a supply line to encourage baby to stay at the breast sucking and stimulating supply while having supplementary feed coming down the line.

In the meantime, some things your wife can do to increase supply are herbs: fenugreek and blessed thistle. She can also see her GP to get a script for Motilium which increases supply as well. While these herbs/medicines increase supply, the supply/demand function of the breast means that they will only work at their maximum effectiveness if milk is being drained. In the meantime, pump after every feed. Pump pump pump.

Your wife should also give the ABA hotline a call 1800 MUM 2 MUM. The counsellors are there not only to offer practical advice, but just to lend a friendly ear. Feeding my DS1 was a nightmare due to low supply initially and I was on the phone in tears many times, but always got off feeling heartened and encouraged to keep going. They are not there to judge, just to help.

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy. At our recent ABA meeting, we were discussing what advice we would give to new breastfeeding Mums and the most common one was "persistence"! I was ready to throw in the towel so many times with DS1, but we hung in there, muddled through it and managed to have a lovely breastfeeding relationship. The first few weeks are always the hardest. Good luck

[chocolatecrackle]

Great advice from PP. I also definitely think you should call, or email, the ABA. You don't have to be a member and they are incredibly helpful. Then look into seeing a lactation consultant tomorrow. It does sound like you're trying to do the right thing, so don't give up. I think it would be incredibly unlikely for there to be anything wrong with your wife's milk.

Just for some perspective, DS would happily take up to 250mL of expressed milk from a bottle, even when he was only 6 weeks old. We couldn't figure out where it was all going, as it was twice the volume his stomach was supposed to be able to hold!

My theory was that he was often wanting to suck to feel comforted, and of course with a bottle being so easy to drink from, he'd drink huge volumes trying to calm himself down. Maybe your son is trying to do the same thing - comfort sucking, rather than sucking for food. I also suspect that the breast was more comforting because it was warm and cuddly and smells like mummy in a way that's harder to emulate with bottles and daddy.

I also wouldn't take one feed as an indication that the breastmilk isn't enough for your son. Maybe he just enjoyed it so much more than formula that he stuffed himself full!

[lucky 2]

Is it possible that some people just cannot make milk that can adequately feed a baby?

Not usually.
It's a quantity and delivery issue rather than a quality of milk issue.
The milk is fine, bub just hasn't been bfing well from birth and this does have a negative impact on milk production/volumes but not the milk itself. It still has all the good things in it.
PP's have given lots of excellent advice.
I'd also encourage you to seek expert help as well as posting here, with ABA for a start but I'd also seek out a LC.
LC's are often available at the Hospital where you gave birth, or in the community at CHN centres or private LC"s.
At 2 weeks and with the early problems try and see this situation as understandable albeit tiring, frustrating and stressful.
It is unfortunately very common and most of these situations can be turned around with time and help now.
Keep expressing after every feed until bub is bfing well, use an electric pump if possible (easier usually and less tiring for mum), express for no greater than 30 mins a session and express each breast at least twice. Time must be taken to rest and not be feeding or expressing always. Try to limit the actually feeding part to less than one hour, that is similar to a baby who is bfing well at that age.
If bub will not bf well then give as much ebm as you have and extra formula, you do need to be guided by baby, they do have times of extra hunger (ie we don't have the same static appetite over the 24 hour period). Feed volume to appetite, what else can you do?
Also a baby at this age may have a growth spurt and can become more unsettled in the afternoon/evening rather than overnight so this might be why your baby was more upset when your wife was gone. And you could also factor in the fact that mum wasn't available, maybe that didn't suit your baby at that particular time. It's hard to know absolute specifics.
I encourage you to encourage her to keep expressing and offering the breast frequently if bub will take it.
Get her to rest, bring her food and fluids, tell her she is doing a fantastic job, reassure her that these are "teething" problems and common.
Tell her that her milk is perfect and it is too early to have failed in bfing at 2 weeks.
Her supply has not established as yet and its very hard at the moment, but it's not bfing failure, if she wants to stop expressing or bfing I'd not call it a bfing failure, but a difficult initiation and launch of bfing. If she has the patience, support and timely knowledgeable there is certainly time to turn this situation around. Of course no one can guarantee the outcome.
All the best at the moment and in the future.

eta, pp below said you are awesome and I wanted to second that .

[new~mum~reenie]

You are awesome for reading up and supporting your wife through this.

When we had DS I really didn't prepare for breastfeeding before the birth. I knew it could be difficult - but no one told me really how hard it can be to get started. DH thought, like so many, that they just come out and latch on. Yes, it does work that way for some - but not for us.

Luckily, as we had a home birth, the midwife came to us and was a wonderful support - often staying over an hour at a time, helping me try different positions, different tricks, and offering endless reassurance.

There are reasons why baby might struggle with breast - such as undiagnosed tongue-tie etc.

There are reasons why breastmilk *may not* be a substantial meal for baby.

Since researching breastfeeding more indepth this pregnancy, so we have a better/longer time this time, I have discovered that some women with PCOS may not produce 'mature' milk, as their breast tissue does not fully develop during pregnancy.
http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/poly...n-syndrome.html

I am not a medical person etc, these are things I have discovered for myself. I am not offering these as answers, but maybe things to ask a lactation consultant, ABA member or MW/Dr...

I hope that your breastfeeding journey smoothes out keep your chin up and keep supporting your missus

[UgglePuggle]

I would also add to the advice above that it can require real determination to keep breastfeeding. By that I mean that it took 2 weeks for me to reach the point where I was producing enough milk. This meant putting up with a baby who was not getting enough milk, his weight plateaued, within 20-30 minutes of breastfeeding he was screaming with hunger again. It was hard, really really hard and it was only our determination to breastfeed that got us through (stubborn buggers us).

That was 2 weeks of breast only, no supplements. As others have said, by feeding formula, that is milk that the mother's body doesn't know the baby needs, so therefore won't produce.

I would also note that our efforts to breastfeed started 6 weeks after he was born due to a complicated birth and a 6 week stint in NICU. He wasn't able to feed orally at all during this time and only had a dummy to remind him about sucking. So don't give up hope if it's what you both really want.