[vitaechel]

Bit of long story - Sorry!
This morning I had a friend request pop up from the Buyer of our house (we settled about 3 weeks ago). She knows my dad and stepmum reasonably well, but it was just a co-incidence that she liked and bought our house as we did not know her.

BACK STORY - We built this house 2 years ago. I had 1/2 acre of land and had worked hard on the vegie garden and the front garden. The sale had some hiccups, which I suspect were mostly the fault of her conveyancer and later miscommunication from our Agent (who I used to work for, but frankly dropped the ball on our sale badly). My DH and I had a lot of stress and aggravation at the end of sale due to the final inspection - we cleaned top to bottom, including steam cleaning all carpets, but I missed a few little nooks (bottom edge of dishwasher door had a bit of dirt and when sun shone on cupboards you could see where I cleaned them... etc) and her conveyancer threatened to withhold $5000 for cleaning (WTF?!?!). We also had not finished collecting all our things, but as we had not settled this should not have been an issue. Our agent made it an issue even tho I had already told her partner we were picking up things. Apparently the message never got through. Also we had mowed lawns the weekend before, but as the weather had been perfect for grass growing it was a bit higher than buyer wanted.

I had left a bunch of vegies in garden (unharvested) and some chopped wood for her, as well as some shelves in the shed for her stuff. We figured she might like that. Well after all the stress DH went and removed all of it - leaving her no firewood and removing some more vegies at the end of their season (there were still a lot of vegies left that would be ready soon tho). We just threw away the shelves.

They had no right to withhold money anyway and our conveyancer told our Agent off for even suggesting such garbage. Yes OUR AGENT was ringing harassing us BEFORE it had even settled. Our conveyancer told them to stop being stupid as what they were suggesting was ridiculous. It turns out her conveyancer meant $500 and backpedalled his way out fast (knowing he was in the wrong). Nothing was withheld and settlement went through fine.

Now my stepmum does not believe most of this stuff came from buyer as she says she is actually a lovely person and would never complain about this sort of thing. She thinks my Agent suggested it wasn't clean enough. We are not obliged to clean it at all, but we had 4 people cleaning over 2 days. I admit to missing small areas, but it was darn clean according to everyone else who saw it. It was also only 2 years old, so not much time to collect lots of dirt. It has been suggested many times that I am OTT about making sure things are clean anyway, but I am pregnant and some VERY SMALL areas were missed. We know that the issue about removing stuff was the agents fault as we had already told her partner we would be back before settlement to do it.

There were also issues about the settlement date - which we said we didn't want to be over 60days, but in end was over 80. Then we asked to move forward a week which was denied. Then days before settlement her conveyancer asked if THEY could move forward 2 days. Which was when I had steam cleaners booked for. It turned out she had to rent a guest house for 3 weeks while waiting on settlement and if they message that we wanted to move sooner had ever been passed on we would all have been happier.

Now this Buyer had sent me a Facebook Friend request. I feel a bit of ickiness toward her - even tho I know it may not have been her fault. I also miss my house we built (the first we had owned) and the garden. We have moved into a rental until after baby is born and then we are moving back to the US, so selling was what we wanted, but I still feel sad.

Do I accept her request and potentially let in someone who MAY then harass me if things are not to her liking in house? Or do I trust she is actually a nice person who may want to keep me updated on the garden etc?
(she knows I am proud of garden and plans to do more work that I never got around too. My stepmum has also said the Buyer told her that my carrots are delicious LOL)

This post has been edited by vitaechel: 11/04/2012, 09:49 AM

[prettypenny]

I wouldn't but then again I'm one of those odd people whose Facebook friends are actually friends.

[strawberrycakes]

if she isn't actually a friend of yours then I would not accept the request.

[gigglemobile]

You could allow, than block and delete if she starts to demand things from you. But if you just want to 'move on' don't accept the friend request. If asked why you did not accept the request just be truthful, you don't owe her anything

[HeroOfCanton]

I'd just leave the request alone for a while. A friend request (IMO) should come from friends and acquaintances, but you said you don't actually know her.

So no, I wouldn't accept the request.

[ali27]

No, I think leave the house selling/buying as a "business'arrangement and leave facebook for people you actually have a rreal connection with.

[vitaechel]

That is kind of what I am thinking. I have a few friends of friends who might play a game I have and I do have dance acquaintances on FB to share event info. But this kind of feels ... Odd.
She is good friends with my stepmums circle of friends, but I think I just want to move on. Nevertheless, I am a bit worried she might be offended (I don't want it to become an issue amongst my SM's friends). This is the problem with small towns I was worried I was being overly sensitive.

I might leave the request alone and suss out what my Stepmum thinks too.

[Jembo]

No, it sounds like she is a friend of your step parents and not yours, so I wouldn't.

[ssorrrento]

You have to ask?

[Fabulous]

Wow I can't believe that you wrote such a long post about the matter. It's pretty simple really, if you don't want her as a friend don't accept the request. You don't owe her anything.

This post has been edited by Fabulous: 11/04/2012, 10:20 AM