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Your kids aren't allowed to come to the wedding - What would you do?

FerdiNando View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:02 PM Post #1
Posts: 554 Joined: 13-May 05
Regular Member
So DH's 1st cousin is getting married (MIL's sisters son). We recieved the invite which had only mine & DH's name printed on it - not "........ Family" or all our names etc. So I asked the bride to be about this she confirmed that her future inlaws (my DH's aunt and uncle) have decided that in order to keep costs down that only FIRST cousins are invited. My children being second cousins are excluded. TBH am I little .... I guess, offended by it. For me weddings are all about family, kids included. I understand about keeping costs down but really, I know for sure that second cousins from the uncles side of the family will be there. Anyway, DH doesn't want to go as he's a bit peeved at his aunt and uncle for excluding our kids but at the same time its not the fault of the bride and groom so we really don't know weather to go or not? MIL (&FIL) will be really peeved at her sister & also DH's elderly nanna who adores our kids will be upset about them not being allowed to come. It potentially can caused a rift in the family ...... We've never found ourselves in this sort of situation ..... what would you do?

kreative View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:05 PM Post #2
Posts: 35 Joined: 23-March 12
New Member
QUOTE (JnrMurf @ 10/04/2012, 01:02 PM) So DH's 1st cousin is getting married (MIL's sisters son). We recieved the invite which had only mine & DH's name printed on it - not "........ Family" or all our names etc. So I asked the bride to be about this she confirmed that her future inlaws (my DH's aunt and uncle) have decided that in order to keep costs down that only FIRST cousins are invited. My children being second cousins are excluded. TBH am I little .... I guess, offended by it. For me weddings are all about family, kids included. I understand about keeping costs down but really, I know for sure that second cousins from the uncles side of the family will be there. Anyway, DH doesn't want to go as he's a bit peeved at his aunt and uncle for excluding our kids but at the same time its not the fault of the bride and groom so we really don't know weather to go or not? MIL (&FIL) will be really peeved at her sister & also DH's elderly nanna who adores our kids will be upset about them not being allowed to come. It potentially can caused a rift in the family ...... We've never found ourselves in this sort of situation ..... what would you do? They want to keep costs down. How are you peeved at that. If you want additional people to go to the wedding, suggest to them that you will pay for it?

Saecularis Angel... Saecularis Angelus View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:05 PM Post #3
Posts: 9,227 Joined: 19-November 09
Con Sprezzatura.
If you can go, go. If you can't, decline politely and don't. Either way don't b**ch to extended family. Your kids aren't owed an invitation, and if you carry on about it you'll just look self-centred.

BVB09 View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:06 PM Post #4
Posts: 1,710 Joined: 26-November 09
BVB09
To be honest OP, it's their wedding not yours ! You just need to respect their wishes.

melbelle View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:07 PM Post #5
Posts: 467 Joined: 8-June 08
Member
What do I do? I accept that I got to decide how I held my wedding and whom I did or didnt invite, based on what I thought a wedding was about...and what we wanted Therefore everyone else has that right too. I either go and have a good time, or politely decline.

Rosepickles View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:08 PM Post #6
Posts: 327 Joined: 21-September 10
Member
I think it is fairly common for kids not to be invited to weddings, I really don't understand the problem. I often thought that not inviting kids is actually not so much about costs but that it is an event for adults to relax and enjoy themselves. Having kids there can sometimes change this. It is not about you or your kids, it is about the couple getting married.

~Nodnol~ View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:08 PM Post #7
Posts: 8,385 Joined: 30-August 02
It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere
I would go. I don't think kids belong at weddings either.

TST View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:09 PM Post #8
Posts: 3,422 Joined: 19-December 05 From: New York, baby!
Living as expat again!
Hire a babysitter to look after your kids so that you can go to the wedding? Or don't go altogether? But don't be offended by it. Their wedding; their choice. Sorry but good luck!

cinnabubble View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:09 PM Post #9
Posts: 11,528 Joined: 24-April 06
I like cats, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
I wouldn't go. Simple.

mpjp View Member Profile	10/04/2012, 01:09 PM Post #10
Posts: 2,620 Joined: 19-August 09
Advanced Member
I seriously dont know how peopel think they are entitled to be 'peeved' about this. It's NOT YOUR WEDDING. You are not paying for it. And money aside - if they dont want kids at their wedding, then WHO CARES if you think weddings are all about family? It's their choice. I love, adore and worshiop my kids, but I dont think they have to be included in everything. In fact I really enjoy a night out with my partner at a wedding! Go. Don't go. But dont impose yourself on others by telling them you believe they should have invited your kids!

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