[Madlock]

I'm not too sure how to put this but i'll give it a go.

I fell pregnant a few years ago and miscarried at 9wks. DH and I had a few names picked out but one in particular that we really liked, and everytime we referred to the pregnancy we would use it's 'name.' However it was still very early in the pregnancy so who who knows what we would have ended up naming him/her if the pregnancy had actually gone to term.

So my question is, if this was you, would you think it was ok to use the same name for your next child, or would it no longer be an option?

This post has been edited by Madlock: 10/04/2012, 10:31 AM

[NotRocketScience]

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

I think it is perfectly fine to use it. It's really up to you. Use it if you think you you won't constantly think of the other bub. Don't use it if it's going to upset you. Only you will really know the answer to your question.

edited - cause I couldn't type.

This post has been edited by mrscanuck: 10/04/2012, 10:36 AM

[mummyofour]

I m/c'ed at 10 weeks 3 years ago. I don't know what sex the baby was and we, like you, hadn't got any names absolutely chosen. We went on to have another baby afterwards, a girl. I think of the baby we lost as a boy and I always think of him as the name he would have been if he had been born IYKWIM, but I know I won't be having any more babies so it's not a name I am going to use. (I hope that makes sense...)

I think it's really up to you and your DH. If you still think of your lost baby as "chosen" name then I probably wouldn't want to use that name again but that's just me. You might be completely comfortable with using the same name.

I know in years gone by, when there were lots of kids in a family, often you would find 2 children with the same name where one had died in infancy and a later baby was given the same name.

[Oriental lily]

I think it's a very personal thing and if you and your DH feel comfortable with it then I think its perfectly fine.

For things like this their is no wrong or right way you should feel.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your little one.

[Bel Rowley]

I think only you and your DH can decide how closely attached the name is to the baby you lost. Personally I never attached a gender or name to my miscarried babies, so it wouldn't be an issue for me.

[PatG]

I think it is fine to use the name, if you are happy doing so. I know of a family who lost a baby at 41 weeks, they used that baby's first name as a mn for the next child (they already had an older child). To them it was a way of honouring the baby that died.

[lsolaBella]

As PP said whatever suits you and your DH.

For me any of the names we considered early PG were NOT the names we ended up calling our children.

We even used totally different names for subsequent children (ie. DS2 did not get DS1's 2nd choice name - he got a totally new different name which had not been under consideration).

So any names we suggested pre 20wks PG were never used.

Even names we had spoken of and agreed on years before (William and Caroline) were not used for our children.

[Spring Chickadee]

DH and I had a name we used whenever we were referring to our future baby. When we were talking about changing cars or house renovations we would say 'well when Maximus is here......' We also had a girls name picked out if our first born was girl.

After our first loss I wasn't sure if We would use the name again but it felt right to in the end. I guess that Name represents a full term born baby for us as thats what I visualise when i think of the name.

Just after our third loss the name (both first and middle) was used by my cousin (total coincidence) but my heart is still totally set on it if we have a boy. I'm not sure whether to keep trying to come up with another name or just use it anyway.

[WibbleWobble]

I think it depends on what you feel ok with.

Something to consider though is when your (future) child asks why you chose the name you did would you be comfortable telling them it was the name chosen for another child?

[lovinmybaby]

I think it's perfectly fine. A friend of mine has used her DS1 (stillborn) name as her DS2 first name and DS3 middlle name. I think it's nice, like he is still a part of them, that he is with them iykwim. Go for it OP, if it's what you both want to do.