[tempura]

Hi,
Was at the shopping centre with my 4 year old DS and he wandered off to a lolly grabber machine. He was standing beside and watching an old man who playing with the machine. I vaguedly heard the old man said "Go away". As I wasn't sure that's what I heard and didn't want to create a scene, I ask my son to come with me and leave the person alone.

On the hind sight, I am really upset with myself for not standing up for my son and condone such behaviour. DS wasn't upset or anything. But maybe I should have asked for an apology or teach my son that is not appropriate for an adult to say. However, challenging the person may trigger an argument.

What would you do if you suspect someone has wrongly told your kid off in public?

Regards
Tempura

This post has been edited by tempura: 04/04/2012, 12:18 PM

[countrymel]

Does that actually come under the heading of 'telling off'?

I would take that as someone telling you to 'go away'?

I would use it as an opportunity to let my not upset son to realise that sometime people aren't interested in your company?

[follies]

You do not know what potential problems that man may have, he could be autistic, have dementia or a different issue that could affect behaviour.

He could also be an assh*le but you never know.

Ask your four year old what they said to each other and explain that just because he is an adult, it does not give him the right to be mean.

[paddyboo]

Personally I would have just walked away. Its not like he was yelling at him

[Mrs Flanders]

I have to agree with PPs. It's probably a good opportunity to teach your son that not everyone is going to be nice in life, and when people are grumpy like that you can just shrug your shoulders and laugh.

[Dinosaurus]

No drama; rude and an opportunity to explain others can be rude (and why it's not ok) but I wouldn't do more than that.

Depends on how close he was too - if I was trying to fix or get a lolly out of a machine and a small child was breathing down my neck I would get annoyed after a while that his carer hadn't asked him to wait his turn (although i wouldn't tell him to go away or in fact say anything, but personal space can be an issue for small kids especially where lollies are involved).

[Guest_Cathode_*]

It isn't telling them off.
Telling them off would be "you are being a complete pain in the ass, go the hell away"

If your son wasn't upset, then there is no need to confront anyone.

If he had been more vocal and had upset the child? yes. He should have been torn a new one imo.

I imagine that he just wanted some privacy while farting around with his wallet/money/candy machine?

[tempura]

You do not know what potential problems that man may have, he could be autistic, have dementia or a different issue that could affect behaviour.

He could also be an assh*le but you never know.

Ask your four year old what they said to each other and explain that just because he is an adult, it does not give him the right to be mean.

Yes. I do try to think of that perspective thus decided to walk away rather than to challenge. But .... ....the old man was pushing a stroller with a baby (assuming grandchild). So what sort of values will he passed on to the younger generation? I wonder.

What if the same thing happen when my son is older , felt wronged and internalise those feelings? As a mum, I always try to teach him to stand up for himself and have zero tolerance for bullying. How do I teach him to react to such situation when the aggressor is an adult?

Regards
Tempura

[bakesgirls]

I wouldn't consider it a telling off. I would consider it (if it was me and my child) that the person found my childs presence annoying. Not everyone like kids. Some only tolerate kids that they have a relationship to such as their own child, grandchild, nephew etc.

FWIW, I've told random kids to go away before, to go back to their parents.

This post has been edited by bakesgirls: 04/04/2012, 12:45 PM

[Aribika]

I think it was a good opportunity for your son to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him and that the old man didn't want him standing there.
No big deal. Go about your day.

Lorraine