[mumofsky]

So if you met a great guy, and everything is going really well and it's been around 4 months of seeing him exclusively, but..... He refuses to sleep with you until he's sure he's in love, how long would you tolerate that for? Would you even believe it? He'll do everything else but will not actually have sex, he claims its something he refuses to take lightly - I just have never encountered this before with a male!

Have you ever met a guy with these beliefs? It's not religious.

[Nanaimo Girl]

I would respect it, but if it got to the six month mark I'd be starting to worry.

[*sassy*]

Is he a virgin?

[erindiv]

I'd be suspicious TBH. I'd think he had an STD or something and was waiting for it to clear up.

Seriously, though, I'd be very suss.

ETA: From what I have gathered, most relationships tend to involve physical intimacy very quickly these days.

This post has been edited by erindiv: 03/04/2012, 10:01 PM

[Stellajoy]

6 months tops.

[blackcat20]

Depends on how much you like him? But as a PP said, after a certain amount of time it might pay to rethink the relationship...

[libbylu]

Hmmmm, I've never actually come across this myself and I've had a good number of flings and relationships.
Perhaps it is a bit of an excuse about needing to be in love and he actually has some performance issues or anxiety about it and wants to feel really secure first so he doesn't feel under too much pressure. Maybe try making an effort not to put any pressure on for the next month or so and then reassess. I would think after 6 months in an exclusive relationship you have an expectation of that level of intimacy. If not, then I would be asking some questions and delving into the issues a bit more.

[Flibbertigibbert...]

My bestie and her hubby dated for 4 years before they had sex, if you like him and want to have a serious relationship with him then you need to respect his beliefs. There shouldn't need to be a time limit.
Plenty of people remain virgins until they marry.

[vitaechel]

I would respect his choice. I have known guys that prefer to wait (friends not boyfriends so I can't say that there were not issues involved that they did not tell me).

I do think it's a bit sad that the conclusion is that there is something wrong with a man that wants to wait.

[erindiv]

fertile woman, I think it's from the (possibly sexist) point of view that men are programmed for sex a lot more than women (as a general, very vague rule) so it seems almost... unnatural, to a point.

God that sounded terribly sexist. I'm not a man hater, I swear.



Just noticed another thing in the OP, though. 4 months and he's "not sure he's in love?" I'd be more worried about that than the lack of sex. OH "wasn't sure" for about a month. IME it's something you figure out pretty quick. Not saying that's the truth for everyone, but I can only offer my own experience.

PP: FOUR YEARS??? Are you kidding me? I'd go mental.

This post has been edited by erindiv: 03/04/2012, 10:10 PM