[Lucretia Borgia]

Hi, as the title suggests, does anyone here actually put their baby to bed (in bassinette/cot) awake...and baby actually drifts off to sleep, unassisted apart from perhaps the odd shushing, pat on back? I went to the tresillian web site today and this is what they recommend for under 6 months. My son is 6 weeks and is in a terrible place with sleep right now, we are well into over tired territory and have been for about a week. So I put him in his bassinette after a bath, feed and a little cuddle, his eyes were nearly falling out of his head, but he was awake...as soon as his head hit the mattress his eyes were wide open and the howls of protest began so I patted and shushed for 40 minutes(yes I timed it) until my back gave in, he was beside himself and I was crying as much as him. So....not very successful! Tresillian makes it sound like you get the odd whimper then it's lights out. Has anyone does this successfully? If so, what is your secret?

Also (this is a vent really, just need to get it off my chest) but he (my 6 week old) has been awake since 2 this afternoon...I kid you not. I fed him before school pick up, and he hasn't slept since despite being held, I tried to feed him to sleep , rock him etc...that can't be healthy for him? This has been a pattern for the last week, and terrible night sleep follows. I really don't know what to do, any advice is welcome. He is breastfed, no reflux and won't take a dummy.

TIA

[purple_daisy]

Hi OP
I belong in the 6-12 month section but couldn't go past your post. I had such trouble with DD's sleep in the first six months, and in the first 2 months I could only ever get her to sleep by feeding her to sleep or popping her in the baby bjorn and walking around. It was so frustrating. We tried sleep school and that saw me sitting by her bed for up to an hour rocking her to sleep every. single. nap. A very hard stage, especailly when she would usually only sleep for half an hour.
At 6 months I had had enough so I decided one day to just start putting her down and walking away (I hope the anti crying folks don't flame me here, but after 6 months of rocking a screaming baby you would try anything too!). She would cry a lot at first but I kid you not, within a week she was only grizzling for about ten minutes then would fall asleep. She is 10 months now and still doing the same thing.
So yes, it is possible for you to put down a wide awake baby and for them to go to sleep but maybe 6 weeks might be a little early. The key for us was just determined consistency and not going back into the room in less than 10 minutes, and then only for a quick pat/shh and back out again. It was hard slog that first couple of days but now I am so glad we did it as daytime naps are a breeze - DD yawns, I pick her up, drop her in bed with a kiss and walk out.
Good luck, and hold on to hope that it will get easier eventually

[therebel]

Yep, we've put DD to bed while she's still awake since she was about 6 weeks old. She is always wrapped and with a dummy, although she tends to spit it out when she drifts off to sleep. During the day she loves background conversation noise, such as the TV on News24 or talkback radio. She also sleeps well in the pram and car.

She has slept in a cot in her own room (a few metres from ours) since about 4 weeks (we were co-sleeping before then). We never had a bassinet.

[joshuakalan]

When my twins (now 5) were babies I always put them to sleep awake. To be honest, I am surprised that people would not do this???

They always nodded off and I never had to go back in. I did this from day one with them and they knew no other way to go to sleep.

However, they did share a cot and perhaps the comfort of their twin being near them aided their sleep.

[Mummy-2-1boy]

I could have written your post a week ago. A week on, she is now 7 weeks. She was only catnapping with a few 10-15 min naps & maybe 1 half hr one if I was lucky. I posted about it & it was really stressful for a few weeks & she seemed to be getting worse everyday...

But 3 days ago that completely changed & it's been amazing. She has been sleeping 30-60 mins in the morning (a little hard to settle), 2-3 hrs at 12 (have been able to put her down drowsy, returned to put her dummy in & pat a few times but asleep within 10 mins! Wouldn't have thought it would ever happen!) & 30 mins in the afternoon.

The things I did differently, which may or may not have made a difference... I loosely followed the sleep time routines from gina fords book (not strictly but I felt my bub needed a little more awake time cuz it would take so long to settle her), and spent longer 'winding her down' by cuddling her until she was very drowsy. Her eyes also pinged open when i put her down but I left her & just popped her dummy back in with a little bum pat & shhh until she was calm again (not asleep). Also she previously hated being wrapped but I have wrapped her & put her on her side during the day only. She previously slept on her tummy unwrapped& at night still does. Either it's a coincidence or the changes are working, either way I feel human again! Today she settled within 15 mins for all 3 sleeps & a week ago it would take over an hr of rocking to achieve a max of 30 mins!

It all could go haywire again tomorrow but I really hold not! But I know what you mean. I have been trying to put her down awake when I spotted her tired signs so she would settle herself to sleep from the day she was born but she seemed to wake up to it around 3 weeks & really needed the help.

This post has been edited by Mummy-2-1boy: 23/03/2012, 07:53 PM

[leita]

No.

[Princess.cranky....]

I did that with DD1 and DD2. But it never worked with DD3.\

He sounds very overtired. Are you putting him to bed when he is starts showing tired signs? Paying attention to tired signs is really important. With some babies when they start yawning they are actually overtired.

How long is his normal wake time? For a 6 week old it should be no longer than 1.5 hours. All mine had awake time of about 1 hour at this age.

Tresillian makes it sound like you get the odd whimper then it's lights out. Has anyone does this successfully? If so, what is your secret?

I have been to sleep school a few times and when it works yes they do go down without much. But when a baby is very overtired they are much harder to settle and that might be why your not having much success.

Honestly at 6 weeks I would just do whatever you have to do to get him to sleep.. don't worry about putting him down awake. If you continue to have problems see child health. Some places have day stays and you can go for the day to get help with settling/sleep issues.

Good luck.

[Jenflea]

Hah! My daughter has only in the last few months been able to be put in bed awake and left to fall asleep on her own. She's 23 months old.
She would scream if we tried it before 18 months, always needed to be fed or rocked to sleep and she grew out of that in her own time.
The trouble with the 'experts' is not every baby suits the same style of parenting. I don't think there CAN be a one style fits all approach, I also think it's human(mammalian really) nature to need help to sleep, if it's being fed, or held or rocked or whatever in the early months.

Babies also go though a peak of unsettledness at 6 to 8 weeks and my daughter was known to be awake for 5 or 6 hours at a time pretty much every day. She was pretty happy if held though so we went with it till she got past that stage.
Can you wear him in a sling maybe, and see if he sleeps like that?
He's spent 9 months being soothed to sleep by the motion of your body as you moved around during the day, he can't be expected to just drop off in a still, unmoving cot, this early in his life.
That's my opinion anyway.
No way would I leave him to cry, certainly not until at least 8 or 9 months, they do not understand that you'll come back, they think they've been abandoned by their mother. Though I'm anti CC really, I do know it does work for some babies, I just think it's cruel until they are old enough to understand you will come back to them and haven't left for good.

[Shooz]

I tried this at about 6 weeks and my baby was having none of it- just cried. So I carried on comforting him to sleep in my arms and around 12 weeks he decided himself he wanted to go into cot before sleep- would wrestle in my arms. Put him down and he self settled. I wouldn't get too caught up at 6 weeks thinking you have to do things one particular way. All babies are different and do what works for you to help you get rest and sanity ☺

[Riotproof]

When my twins (now 5) were babies I always put them to sleep awake. To be honest, I am surprised that people would not do this???

People don't do this because it doesn't work for all babies. I'm very glad it worked for you, but to assume it will work for all babies is an absolute fallacy.

OP, I have heard somewhere that babies have no memory of how they go to sleep prior to 12 weeks. Not that I'm suggesting you should leave her crying after that. I too, had a baby who found the ssssh patt crap to be bull. It's very hard to hear when others are telling you that they just give a nigh nigh kiss and leave, when it doesn't ever work for you. You will get there, eventually. Don't worry.

There are some great articles here http://www.pinkymckay.com/blog/?cat=278

I do agree with pp's about focusing on tired signs.