Hi Lovely ladies,
It has been soooo long since i have popped by, just so busy with the kids but i think of you all of the time and will try harder to be here more often.
JA....YAY....I have thought of you a lot lately, knowing you would be getting closer, so very happy and relieved that all has gone well and little Piper Grace is here safely. Will check on FB to see if you have pics there. If your DD1 is anything like mine Piper will be the best dressed little lady around. Kelsey just turned 17 and spends all her money on buying Lily shoes, clothes, blankets etc....The other day in Pumpkin Patch she bought Lily one of those teddy bears that you dress in little clothes and then bought the bear and Lily matching outfits...a little dress and a fur coat, LOL Lily is better dressed than anyone else in the neighbourhood, and so is her teddy bear....I really hope that you are enjoying those early newborn days, they are my favorite days ever. I just can not believe how quick your time seemed to pass. CONGRATULATIONS, oh and i LOVE her name...really really do
Bettymm..Have missed our chats too, just so busy with two little ones, and three big ones. When I find time to get on FB will check out your page too, you always have such cute photos and they give me ideas on photos I want to take of my babies. Hope your beautiful girls are doing well and will try to catch up more often xx
Chedasha..WOW Estella is approaching her first birthday fast now. I clearly remember this time a year ago. You were near the end and i was wishing it was me. Guess the beautiful Estella will be walking soon...Then you will be really really busy. Walking adds a whole new dimension to being a Mummy, followed closely by climbing. xx
dr seuss..I feel like i have missed out on little sage growing. I bet she is beautiful and loved by your other little ladies. She sure is a big girl....Great to hear of her wonderful weight gains. Zofran sure did no harm to her. Have you put photos on Fb? Will check that out too xx
To all the new ladies, I have been where you all are, 5 times in fact. The only way I ever managed 5 was to have the large age gaps that we have. Our eldest is 17 then 14, 11, 2 and 6 months. There was no way I could have done them one straight after another. I always left it long enough for the memory to fade slightly and be over shadowed by the wonderful memories of newborns and babies. I found the last 2 the hardest by far. Number 4 was the most difficult HG pregnancy for me and TTC number 5 was the worst thing. I knew I wanted one more baby so that number 4 had a sibling to grow with but I had just been through the hg thing and was terrified. They have the closest age gap but I am 42 and did not have time to wait another couple of years. I guess in the end it came to a head when I knew I would regret not having another one one day and just decided to get it over with. I cried every time we DTD, fearing it would work and then fearing it would not. I was a total wreck when I got the BFP and fell a part for months, regretted it, prayed for a miscarriage, day dreamed about a termination and counted down the days like never before. I am ashamed to say that now but it was the hg talking...It makes you feel and think things that in your right state of mind you will never have felt. That is how you know you have hg and not normal morning sickness. If you are feeling so bad you are praying it would all just end and that you will lose a much wanted baby then you can bet you have HG. I have felt this every time i have been PG but more so with the last 2. Funny enough though the last two have been the best births, quick and very easy and I have enjoyed parent hood so much more with them. I guess because i am older and know that the time passes so quickly so i am enjoying every single second with them. I also know that the real guilt i feel when i think about how i once prayed they would go away has led me to be so protective of them, even obsessive at times. I am terrified that they will be taken from me now because it was what i wanted back when in the depths of HG. Those feelings have caused some post natal depression and anxiety in me too, I had it after number 4 whilst trying to decide on number 5..and during my 5 th pg. I have had a touch of it this time too, in the past 2 months. Post natal anxiety rather than depression. It was triggered when we lost our cat I think. She died unexpectedly and was not 2 yet. now I wake every morning with that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach like something bad is going to happen. I had it the night before Willow died and then I woke and found her in the family room dying and now every morning I have that same feeling when I wake. Think the feelings of losing one of the kids is tied in to it. I know the hg caused the thoughts I had but terrified that God or the universe or fate whatever...will answer the prayers I once had.
So know that you are not alone....I am a Registered Nurse, a mother of five beautiful kids and a very practical, straight forward thinker but Hg has had a big impact on my life and continues to do so after the babies have been born. The nausea goes away but it leaves scars that take longer to heal. It robs us of children we planned to have but are to scared to go through hg again for, it robs us of that wonderful excitement other women get when pg, robs us of that wonderful pg glow. I am one baby short of our planned family. We always planned to have 6. When we met 24 years ago that was our plan, we both wanted a big family and worked hard to be in the position to do that. We nearly got there, just one short. I am 42 now and have done two hg pg in two years and just dont have it in me to do it again now. I thought 3 or 4 months ago that maybe I might as was still under the influence of those hormones but now that they are going I know I am just too old and too tired and was too terrified to go through it all again. HG has robbed me of my one last baby.
So a quick update on Little Lily Eden....She was a great sleeper. 10 -12 hrs a night from 6 weeks but that has all vanished. Her 4 month vaccinations ended that. She was grzzly with those vaccinations and began to wake at night. Initially once and then twice a night. The last 3 or four weeks she is waking every three hours and not settling properly. I am guessing she is teething now. During the days he sleeps ok. A couple of naps ranging from 1 hour to 3 hours in length. She is on solids now and Loves her food, weighs 7 kgs and is just so beautiful. She smiles all of the time and is just so happy. Smiles at everyone and 'talks' non stop. I adore her to bits. All of that regret and negativity vanished the minute she was born and she has continued to be so worth it. I can not believe we ever came close to not having her. When I think that she was very nearly not going to be here, that i almost decided not to ttc and she would not be here.....I am so glad she was meant to be because watching Harry love her and play with her is wonderful. Seeing her tiny face light up when she sees me is magical. That is exactly why I have done this 5 times.
Good Luck to everyone going through this right now. Try salt and vinegar chips...They were all i ate for months...nd almonds at night to ease that hungry nauseated feeling I would wake with at 2am , would have a handful of almonds and go back to sleep. I will be back more often and will also try to get on fb more too...I do get fb messages through email and do check my emails daily. But will make it a habit to get her at least once a week.
Love to you all xxx