[terracottapots]

I had my 9 year old nephew with me the other day and ran into my neighbour at the store - I just know her as "Mary"(not her real name" and she is a friend to me.
I introduced her to my nephew as "Mary".
She quickly corrected me and "Said, No, I am Mrs Brown".
I felt stupid and awkward and a little offended that she corrected me and silly that I had made the mistake.What was I thinking - this is a child and she is an adult!
What Do you think?

Would you have remembered to say Mrs Brown or Mary or what do you think is the best way of introducing her to the child?

Sometimes I just plain forget. I think that I have manners but it seems I make mistakes

This post has been edited by terracottapots: 20/03/2012, 02:35 PM

[cheekymonkeysmum]

Hmm hard one.

I always introduce ds to people and use their first name they usually have no problems.

But i can see how she would like to be introduced as last name only as when i was growing up all my friends mum and dads were Mr or Mrs.

I think in the end it all depends on the person.

I sure she would not have minded that much as you have know her as Mary all the time you have known her.
It's a simple mistake.

[Tesseract]

Mary is old fashioned. Today it is the norm for children to address adults by their first names. In fact calling somebody Mr/Mrs Brown was getting dated when I was a kid.

But since that's what Mary wanted, she corrected you, and that's fine.

I wouldn't be losing sleep over it. She probably just thinks you're an ignorant heathen. People today, they have no respect! And all that.

[bosmarklar]

I don't think you did anything wrong, OP.

You said that you just know her as "Mary" - does that mean that you do not know her last name? If you don't know her last name, then there is no other way for you to introduce her .

Personally, I would do the same, even if I knew the woman's last name! I picture my mum, who is 70, being introduced as "Mrs. ___" and I know she would much prefer to be addressed by her first name, as would I when children address me (of course I am not 60, but still ...).

I guess you might have to gauge how proper or old-fashioned the person is ... or, you can be conservative and go with "Mrs.", and if the person is like my mum they would just say, "Oh, no, please call me (first name)".

I'm sure your manners are just fine!

[liveworkplay]

If I can, I ask them what they would like to be called. 100% of the time I have been told "first name" or "nickname" However, I do have trouble addressing my friends parents with anything but Mr and Mrs. They think it is very old fashioned of me

[amanda79]

I introduce any adult to my children with their first name.

I don't like the old-school hangup about Showing Respect by using surnames. I'm not sure if it's because I have a different surname from my children, and I'm a Ms, so would hate to be referred to as Mrs AssumedSurname.... or if I'm just a rebellious type?

[bakesgirls]

When I introduce my children to someone, I always use the titles of Mr. or Mrs. first. If and when the children are invited to call that person by their first name, then they can do so.

[2bellaboos]

To get straight to the point, I wouldn't worry to much about it. I respect someone's wish to be referred to as Mr or Mrs, especially if they are in a certain age bracket, but it's not like people walk around with a t-shirt saying "please refer to me as Mr/ Mrs xxx". It's just a personal preference. I don't think what you did makes you rude or ignorent.

I still call my friends (from school) parents Mr and Mrs. Some have told me "seriously, you can call me Anne now" but it feels weird! Just like running into your old school teachers...

[wombat]

Don't feel silly, you did the right thing. You know her as Mary, why would you introduce her as anything else. Where, I wonder, is the cut off age. When would Mary consider the child old enough to call her by her first name? 12, 16, 18,21? And how on earth would you know that. She sounds a bit full of herself IMO. I have always introduced DD to adults by their first names, and even those in their 70's and 80's have never had a problem. Except for one old dear in our street who is Mrs Finn, and thats because she was introduced to me this way years ago. In fact I don't think anyone in the street even knows her first name lol

[MummaDiva]

I always use honorifics for people older than me, and people who occupy positions of respect (teachers, doctors etc). But I am pretty old-school in terms of manners. I have also pulled up (gently) a few of my DDs friends who think it is OK to call me by my first name. If they are kids I know well, they can address me with an "Aunty FIRSTNAME". If the parents or children don't know my surname, they can all me "DDs mummy".