[more than just M...]

Oops.

Yep, I fell pregnant. And I desperately want to tell my best mate, but don't know how. She has been TTC #1 for 7 years (male factor) and I know it will be hard on her.

She starts ICSI in a few weeks.

How do I tell her?

[AvadaKedavra]

Do you have to tell her it was an accident?

[Guest_Dinah_Harris_*]

Congratulations!
One-on-one gently, over coffee and cake.
Don't go into the whole accidental thing. Just keep it simple.
Good on you for caring about the feelings of your friend. And please don't be upset with her if she doesn't jump up and down and scream with excitement for you. She might - but equally, her happiness for you may be tempered with sadness.
Hope this helps.

[wannabamumma]

Do you have to tell her it was an accident?

I would be thinking this as well. Is there any reason that this couldnt be a planned pregnancy?

[more than just M...]

She will know it is an accident - my boyfriend is her brother and we don't even live together!

[pinkcupcakes]

my friend and i started ttc #2 at the same time. she ended up having a baby girl a couple of months ago...7months after hers was born, my bubba will be born. she felt bad telling me when she had conceived but even though it was a bit bittersweet for me, i didnt resent her for it. after she found out she was preg, i learned of about 8 other friends and aquaintances who fell preg...it starts to get frustrating then but its still not anyone's fault..( excpert maybe my poor hubby- he's a painter. big nono if you want a baby.)life is just unpredictable, its not your fault!(or your friends because she hasnt conceived yet). i think she's be more hurt if you didnt tell her. it may be hard for her to hear ( esp after 7 years) but sounds like she is a true friend and will be supportive.all the best.
ETA; ohh, so she'll be an aunty! ( real as well as honorary)that may be a good thing to focus on...

This post has been edited by pinkcupcakes: 20/03/2012, 07:30 AM

[amabanana]

You might need to change your initial post to say, 'pregnant with her niece and I don't live with her brother.' That's a whole lot of different IMO.

[Gonewiththewind:...]

She will know it is an accident - my boyfriend is her brother and we don't even live together!

Umm, I'd probably still not point out the accident part (she can just assume). I presume she dealt with this with your first (who I assume was also unplanned?) As a side note, I think you need to change your method of contraception if this is the 2nd "surprise"!

[soontobegran]

You can not presume how she will react but that is not a reason for non disclosure however there is no reason to tell her now, you could wait like many people until the end of the first trimester to share the news.
How will she feel? She'll most likely be incredibly envious that you have got pregnant to her brother when you don't even live with him whilst she is about to commence ICSI for a planned and wanted pregnancy.
These feeling do not detract from your pregnancy excitement but you'll need to be prepared for a response that may not be favourable and understand why.

We didn't tell my brother and SIL until 20 weeks with #5 as they were going through years of infertility and we had just had our 4th surprise pregnancy. They were VERY upset that we kept it from them.

[mks81]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. We were accidental as well but very excited, I would be slightly p*ssed if someone made comment about my contraception needing changing as this our second 'accident' as well, (9 years apart).


I suppose there is no easy way to tell her but to expect that while she might be pleased for you, this will obviously hurt her.

Don't even bring the word accident up in this case. Just be gentle and say you want her to know you understand if she isn't completely happy for you at this time. This sort of thing, especially at the moment sets me off in tears so I hope you can be a little stronger. I would make an emphasis on the Aunt bit as well. But don't take it too hard if she wants to back off for a little while to deal with the news on her own.

You can be over the moon for yourself and still be sad for her, gentle, gentle is the way to go.You already sound like a good friend for being more worried about her at the moment. Goodluck.