[roses7]

My DD is in FYOS. As far as we know, she is doing very well. In the first couple of weeks, when I was collecting her from the classroom and was able to have a quick chat with her teacher, she was full of praise for the way she was adapting, her maturity, her confidence and her academic ability. Since then, I haven't really had a chance to speak to the teacher as they just release the whole class into the playground. Parent-teacher interviews are in a couple of weeks. I do know that there is only one child in the class reading at a higher level than her, and that she has received a "good behaviour" sticker every day she has been there, meaning she has never been in trouble or warned over her behaviour.

At DD's school they have an assembly every fortnight and 2-3 kids from each class receive a merit award. DD has been commenting each fortnight that she hasn't received an award (I know in advance that she won't be getting one because they invite the parents to attend if your child is receiving one.) Tonight she was a bit upset, saying that she really thought she would get one today. She keeps asking me why she hasn't received one and I am at a bit of a loss to explain it because I don't really understand the system.

She loves going to school, is learning lots and enjoying it. But I feel her confidence is actually being undermined each time these awards are given out and she doesn't get one. I recall at school we had merit awards handed out each term, which seems a better system to me as the teacher gets to assess the whole class over a longer period.

Does your school have merit awards and how are they assessed? How do you explain to your child why they didn't receive one? I will speak to the teacher at the interview but there is one more assembly before that and I feel I need to have some answers for DD if she doesn't receive an award at the next assembly.

I know that I sound like the whining parent demanding that my child receives an award, but I just want to help DD to feel ok about not getting one.

[Mummy2RyanandAle...]

Our school only does it at the end of year.
1 x academic award
2 x merit awards per class.

[imamumto3]

every child gets a "turn" of getting a merit award, it may not be awarded to your child for being well behaved or doing great work, otherwise some kids would always get one & others would miss out. It is all about encouraging the kids to keep up with good work etc, so a child that may have been struggling that week might get the award to boost their spirits. Of course the kids dont know that & get excited when they receive theirs!

Can you just say to her, that XYZ child got it this week & im sure she will soon. praise her for doing great work all the time to keep encouraging her

Edited to add: I prefer the citizen award because that is decided by classmates and has nothing to do with acedemic work, but about the childs relationships with the other kids

This post has been edited by imamumto3: 14/03/2012, 08:57 PM

[liveworkplay]

Our school has merit cards. So you basically get 5 green cards and then you hand them into the office and receive a Principals Award in assembly. Green cards are given out for a wide variety of reasons, it may be the whole class for respecful behaviour in mass, for example, or individual for helping above and beyond what was asked (another example) I think they are a bit worthless really. DD1 has received one every term since starting school She loves school and is an extremely rule orientated person (except at home of course!!)

We also have a main numeracy, literacy and social justice award each term. A boy and girl from each grade receives the award. They are not the smartest or highest acheivers necessarily (numeracy and literacy), but those who have shown improvement. DD1 was a little sad she had not received a numeracy one early last year and couldnt understand how, if she was in the extension math group, she hadn't But finally did last term last year.

I think you just explain to your child that there are lots of kids in the school who work hard and their time will come. Schools do keep a track of who receives what.

This post has been edited by liveworkplay: 14/03/2012, 08:52 PM

[**Anna**]

Does your school have an end of term special award? Maybe her teacher is waiting for that.

[girltribe4]

Our school does them weekly and my ''struggling'' dyslexic daughter seems to bring one home most weeks . I see them as a confidence boost and they do certainly have that effect on my DD .

[kriattica]

Our school does it every assembly as your. We have 2 WEST awards which can be anyone in the whole school and each class usually has 2 or 3. I have noticed that sometimes the kids who need an extra push receive them first.

We have just told our kids that at that time someone must have been working really hard on whatever they received the award for and that if they keep trying their best, it will happen for them. We really try to push that they don't need an award to know they have done their best, they should know that be how they feel at the end of a day.

[*LucyE*]

Yes our school has them and no, I don't like them.

I prefer to encourage my children to be intrinsically motivated rather than Using a rewards based system. I can't change what the school does but I can talk to my kids about how these certificates have little value.

[EssentialBludger]

At DDs old school (fortnightly merit awards, everyone gets a turn) it was always given to the naughty/disadvantaged/uninterested kids first, as a way of trying to encourage them.

[Velouria]

Whilst I like the idea of motivating kids who may be having trouble staying on track - something doesn't sit right with me either. It just feels like a strange competition (ours are fortnightly too) which is difficult to quantify for little ones. Even I I felt antsy in my seat wondering if my DS would get one the first assembly I attended. I wanted to congratulate my kid for being so cool at missing out frankly.