[Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*]

DH has a couple of rooms that are designated man only Does anyone else do this? Anyway I want to organise them a bit better as they end up dumping zones for all of his man stuff (which is part of the reason he's allocated the space in the first place) and he's getting twitchy. Any suggestions how to "help" him? He's happy for these spaces to get a thorough clean every now and then (they get really grotty), but he's not so happy if I ask him up front. IMO there's little difference but I think it's more respectful to ask him up front. It's just that he gets agitated at the thought, whereas if it just happens then he appears to love it Yes he's weird and it's the quirkiness that I love but WWYD?

[LambChop]

Maybe Ikea storage things ? Kind of like those tool walls with the shape of the tool drawn on them that men seem to need in the garage, a unit thing with designated spaces for 'stuff'

[virtuallotus]

My respect flies out the window when there is dirt and mess involved, and I don't care if he feels like he is being disrespected, I really don't have the patience to tip toe around someone elses ego. Pick up your sh*t and put it away. Part of being a functional adult and living in a shared household. Although, we do have somewhere to put things. His army gear belongs in the large closet in the spare room, bike and gear in the garage, etc etc. Thankfully, it's not much of an issue, because mess bugs he hell out of me.

[BetteBoop]

DH has a sound proof music room.

It's a festy man-cave. I don't go inside which suits both of us just fine.

[Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*]

Thanks for the suggestions LambChop. I'm clear about how to organise the space, just dealing with the ego is (as virtuallotus has mentioned) is what I'm not so sure about. I have moments where a hissy fit seems to be the only appropriate response but he's a delicate thing and that isn't the best method for us

[a4anna]

I would just do it and deal with it later.

Saying that though, we have a different dynamic at our place. If DH complains i tell him i'll sell his toys and it quickly get's done.

[FluffyOscar]

A couple of rooms? Wow, he is very fortunate. I don't think it's too much to ask he keeps them clean, and if he doesn't then it's not really your fault that you need to go in there once in a while.

It's really up to him, whether he does what's required or not.

My DH gets to keep his hockey stuff in the shed. Our house is just too small for us to have anything but shared zones, which belong to all of us.

[LambChop]

My advice then is... close the door Problem out of sight.

[Sinister Bonnet]

I organise and tidy his cupboards and his room once a year. If he gets upset, too effing bad. He gets fair warning that he is approaching maximum chaos and it needs sorting.

He also has major organisational issues and attentional issues and stuff goes invisible to him so I just see it as a support issue that I go in there and do stuff.

I don't toss stuff though. Hilariously he has still got the piles of paper from the last 3 sort outs under his bed awaiting his attention.

So, yeah, I go the blunt, dude, this needs doing route. He hates it either way.

[Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*]

Oh I'm hearing you F&E. I'm always asking "can't you see the mess?". He cleans up around the mess - even in the main parts of the house that are more communal.

I wouldn't extend to tossing either, but his parents yesterday offered him yet more boxes of university notes from over 15 years ago! It seems like an endless task that his family are feeding. He won't throw out anything Mind you his parents are hoarders as well and are constantly boasting about the stuff they've had for 40+ years so it's a tricky one. He even pulled out a burnt out candle jar I'd tossed into recycling the other day. I feel like I'm constantly putting the same things in the bins. He has a special attachment to Jalna yoghurt tubs and Homer Hudson ice cream containers. Hopefully I've weaned him off buying the Jalna for a while.

This post has been edited by Buy Me A Pony !: 14/03/2012, 04:10 PM