[Guest_holy_j_*]

Ds is nearly 3 years old. Loves thomas. LOVES thomas. This became obvious around 9 months old, so it's been a 2 year plus love affair.

lately its becoming completely way over the top though. If he's not on the thomas and friends web site, he's on you tube watching thomas short videos . Or watching Thomas DVD's. And he spends pretty much most of the day putting together his tracks and running his trains around it. Right now, he's come up to me and had a hissy fit because i told him no to watching thomas on the computer. (don't get me wrong, i don't let him sit on the computer all day, but when I do allow it, it's thomas 95% of the time- occasionally he plays on friv but usually goes straight back to thomas after 5 minutes) And he will of course go the computer when I'm not there.

So the first thing he does of a morning is go to his trains. Last thing at night, go to his trains. The night before last, i wioke up at 4am to find him playing with his trains and track. He only went to bed at 10:30pm that night (long standing sleep issues). Not the first time either.

So the last 2 weeks or so, it's been getting worse. He doesn't want to come with me to drop off take the kids to school because he wants to stay and play thomas so there's a tanty right there. Usually of an afternoon, they (his siblings and him) are all kicked outside for 2 hours to play - he doesn't want to go, he keeps on coming back upstairs. Baths/showers, kicking and screaming because he wants to play thomas. Doesn't want to eat anything, he'd rather play wtih thomas. (note he is made to sit at the dinner table, have baths and of course come with me- point being he doesn't want to!)

So it's too much. Little bit unsure on what to do here. We've obviously cultivated his obsession wtih thomas- we already had a heap from our first son still and bought him thomas for birthdays and xmas. WDYT? can anyone relate to this? Should i just put it all away and deal with the fallout until he gets back to normal, limit him to a few pieces and trains or what? Is is too much or just his expression of the norrmal 3 year old stage?

oh and one more question: what the frig can i get him for his 3rd birthday in 2 weeks? What do 3 year olds like that isn't thomas?

This post has been edited by holy_j: 13/03/2012, 09:14 PM

[tenar]

my DD1 is nearly 3 years old and she only watches things that we put on for her, and those are strictly limited to <30 minutes/day. So my first comment is why on earth is he online on different websites and youtube just watching stuff for long periods of time?

I suggest that you put away all of the multimedia (computer, TV, etc) (maybe need to do this for all your children so it's "fair", maybe during the week only and not the weekend?) and provide him with other toys and games to play with.

3yos are into dressing up (themselves, their teddies, etc), pretend play games (with trains and doll houses and cars and especially DUPLO), jigsaws, musical toys, drawing (with crayons, paint, chalk, coloured pencils), "reading" books, and most especially spending time in the garden and/or park doing stuff outdoors with sticks and tan bark and sand and the play equipment. I suggest you get your son some different toys that will encourage a different type of active and imaginative play than toy trains (not that trains are bad, they are great, but one can have too much of anything...), and try to ride out the reaction to missing the computer etc.

Good luck!

[wallofdodo]

Chuggington? how about tonka. My guy loves bubbles, so we bought him a special bubble blower. Jigsaws and musical instruments are also popular.

My son is totally Thomas obsessed. I can get him away from it though. So I am not much help really.

We have a little bag called the train bag. We make a bit of a thing about picking some trains to take with us wherever we go. They don't often get used at our destination I think it is enough that he knows they are there.

I don't think you can take them away completely, just try to wind it back. We are TRYING to read any book other than Thomas, it is hard but we are getting there!

This post has been edited by wallofdodo: 13/03/2012, 09:27 PM

[T2Mum]

I also think it is unhealthy and would be limiting Thomas to an hour a day. No multimedia Thomas.

For the rest of the day I would introduce other toys / activities. Other toys / activities would be beneficial to stimulate other areas of development.

[Guest_holy_j_*]

Computer is in a communal area, and he puts them on himself.

[Lil Chickens]

If you want to keep him off the computer could you put a password on or parental controls?

[bailee]

I had a Thomas obsessed boy. Although he didnt really chuck tanties over it. I got into it to, I admit. I actually think they are good quality toys that enable them to use their imagination, so I just went with and only bought him Thomas stuff for years. He used to wake up in the night and tell me stories about Gordon and James and Henry, etc. Now he has outgrown it I have boxed up all the trains in big tubs and put them away as I cant bare to get rid of something he loved so much.

If he chucking a tanty when its time to leave, before he starts, why not say you are going and he can pick two trains to take with him? I used to let DS take a few trains and a few pieces of track in a small bag with us when we went out or a Thomas book to look at in the car. We had Thomas bath toys, cutlery, you name it. I used to get him to eat sometimes by 'feeding' the trains coal or diesel 'juice' - Gordon and Henry were fed twice because they are big engines.I used to let him pick which engine got fed next. Other times, try saying we are going to do this now, but you can come back to Thomas when we are finished.

To be honest, i think the Thomas obsession is much more interesting than my friend's kids who all only showed interest in their toys for 2 secs and then they were on to the next thing. At least I knew if someone gave him Thomas toy it would be played with and enjoyed. Oh and my dad is 64 and still wont come to the table cause he playing with his trains.

[Princess.cranky....]

I think putting Thomas away might be too much for him. It might be part of a security thing for him. And that Thomas is easy to play with- he doesn't have to think of anything else to do.. if he is board Thomas is there, it's familiar.

I also think you need to stop the computer usage. Our 6 year old is never aloud to go on the net just start watching things. Even our 3 year old knows not to go on the computer. Can you put a pass word on the PC to stop him going on the net? I would not be comfortable with my 3 year old going the computer and watching things any time they felt like it.

For the birthday- what about outdoor toys? A scooter, bike? Something that would get him outside more..

[ms flib]

Don't worry about it. If he's 10 and still waking up in the middle of the night to play with Thomas then I'd be a bit concerned. (Actually my 70+ FIL has a great big model train set that fills a whole room. Some boys don't really grow out of it!)

You could offer other toys even if he doesn't play with them now. Lego, for example, is great. (They even have train sets!) When my son was really into trains we went to minature railways, rail museums and rides on steam trains. We had train cakes for birthdays and FIL made DS a pedal car Thomas for his 3rd birthday.

Your son will move on. It's great that he's engaged in individual play. Kids of that age don't like their play interrupted. Being dragged off to school pick up is annoying. My girls always protested when they were busy doing something.

Maybe restrict him on the computer but otherwise don't stress.

All the best

[baddmammajamma]

holy_j:

Forgive me for having my uber-cautious hat on, but I have been through the "totally obsessed with a particular interest + long standing sleep issues" deal with the cutie in my signature.

I don't know enough about your son to sound an alarm bell, but if I had a child who was particularly obsessive about something, I'd be taking a good honest look at whether there were any other behaviors, quirks, or unusual skills/lack thereof going on at the same time.

(I should add that it's important to note that obsessions are different than strong interests or passions. With an obsession, the child will focus on the object of his desire or a particular activity to the exclusion of almost all other activities and interests).

Anyway, if my child had a Thomas obsession, plus long standing sleep issues, plus some other things (for instance, sensory sensitivities, food issues, examining parts of toys like wheels, lack of interest in engaging with peer-aged kids or difficulties with his communications... or even turbo skills like precocious mastery of letters/numbers), I'd be heading to my MCHN or GP to get a developmental screen.

I don't know your son's profile beyond what you have shared above, and the other types of things I've mentioned might not apply in any way, shape, or form. But if there are a bunch of niggling concerns, I'd recommend getting them checked out properly (and a developmental screen is not a big deal at all) than wonder "Is this normal?"

But back to your original question...we've always used obsessions as a way to get our daughter to engage in other things. So for your son's birthday, how about a Thomas-themed OUTDOOR toy (bike, slide, trampoline)? Hope your little guy has a spectacular birthday!