[Mumof5Monkeys]

I think you know when you're done and if you are in doubt you're not done...you can choose to ignore the feeling that you want another baby but it will always be in the back of your mind or heart...
I have met many older people with grown up children who have told me that one of their only regrets in life was not having had more children. Those comments helped DH and I to make the decision to have baby no 5 when we were still tossing up. I had always wanted 4 kids but after number 4 I didn't feel 'done'. As soon as I was pregnant with no 5 I knew that I would be 'done' once I had a healthy baby in my arms.

Our household can be a little bit nuts, but I would not be without any of them...you can always stretch the money and you can definitely stretch the love!

[AmityD]

Great column Amity.

We always said 3.

Then we had 2.

Even though we both say "no more" and we have started selling off baby stuff (or giving it to family if it's small enough to travel) we can't part with our beloved bassinet. I really don't think I will have any more, I think it would be a bit too weird to keep a bassinet for 30 odd years in the hope of grandkids, but I just can't bring myself to sell it. I love it. I love what it represents and reminds me of. I just can't say goodbye to it yet.

Dinosaurus, keep the bassinet. My mum kept ours and I have loved that my kids could use it when they slept at their grandparent's house. It's a piece of history and it's special, so I'll definitely keep mine. I feel exactly the way you described, that it's hard to let go of the beautiful moments and memories all of these things represent.

I have loved reading all your comments, although it's not helping when all of you who have gone again and loved it are making me think maybe I should....that and every time I look at my nephew I'm sure I release an egg!!!! If I do have another one I think he will be solely responsible (with a little input from my husband

[AmityD]

Amity - I loved this column.

I reckon you should just go for it. What is your kitchen table going to look like in 15 years!

Melina

Thanks Melina! xx

[chrisl]

The decision for me was made with my head, not my heart. If I were 5 years younger we would probably go again because my husband always wanted 3. But I don't think physically I can do it again. I have given away most of our baby stuff (just to seal the deal in my mind) and got an IUD so the chances of an accidental pregnancy are next to zero. I think about how it would be being in my 50s with a teenager if I had a third, having a child living with us potentially till we were 60 and going back to chronic sleep deprivation (as opposed to just the average sleep deprivation you suffer with a pre-schooler and a toddler!).
I'm sure my children would love another little brother or sister though but the only circumstances in which I would go through it again would be if my husband and I swapped roles and after the first 6 months, he stayed home and I went out to work. Unlikely to happen though! I also have never been able to get out of my head the idea that I've been so lucky with my two, why risk going again. I know lots of people with 3 though and they are very happy.

[My4Sunshines]

I think you know when you're done and if you are in doubt you're not done...you can choose to ignore the feeling that you want another baby but it will always be in the back of your mind or heart...

Couldn't have said it better! Thank you

I wondered if I would EVER get 'that feeling' and even dh said "will you ever stop?"
I couldn't answer because I just didn't know, I didn't feel easy saying yes or no as I didn't really know how I felt either way

For me I knew I was done when there were more 'negatives' (constantly worrying through the pregnancy, another c/s, sore boobs, sleep deprivation etc..) than 'positives'.
I truly love my kids to bits however I'm done with babies.
I absolutely love the feeling of a baby moving inside me, totally fascinates me though I just cannot ask my body to do it all again.

I gave baby clothes away, sold furniture etc.. and I was glad to see it go, I even asked dh what else we could get rid of that we didn't need So unlike what I used to be.

I couldn't grasp the concept when a friend told me "you will know when you're done", in my mind I was thinking 'yeah sure I will ' and sure enough I did and do, I am even going to take obstetrics off our phi to make it cheaper

[satanskitti]

This is something so personal for me, my heart is longing for number three, desperately yearning for it but DH is happy to stop at two now we have a boy and girl. I should feel like the luckiest woman on earth, right? I am truely blessed that my children are in wonderful health. I am thankful. But I had always wanted a larger family, and by large I mean 3, 4 or 5+. DH sadly only ever thinks of finances, and is so selfish materialistically he can't sacrifice (and trust me it is a sacrifice for him not to spend on himself all the fricking time) any more money to give me what my heart really longs for. So jealous of all those with larger families, I always envisioned I would have one.

[satanskitti]

How do you deal with "it" when your DH just says no, no more. I am really struggling with it and I am loathe to bring it up with him.

[girltribe4]

I don't feel done I am so confused at the moment . If someone told me #5 would def be a boy I would be in bed right now though

[joolz]

We did contemplate no 3 at one stage. However, Im working full time now and DH is also working part time afternoon so we can always have one of us at home with the kids. I dont think our finances would stretch to be honest; Im not talking about the holidays and private school, Im talking about paying a mortgage and putting food on the table.
Plus, I left babies until I was in my thirties. I had one crappy pregnancy, two shocker deliveries and I HATE the sleep deprivation. No milk to breastfeed, even though i desperately wanted to. My kids STILL wake up and want me in the middle of the night. Plus we are busy enough ferrying two around with school and sport.
I work as a theatre nurse and I think I knew I was over the clucky stage when I did a middle of the night caesarian section and all I could think about was how tired the mother was going to be the next day and not oohing and aahing over the newborn!!
Im one of three and so is my husband. We got the pigeon pair, but I didnt care what I sexes i got, so i def wasnt going back to get a particular sex!!
In an ideal world though, with more money and more time on my side, i would have had at least four....

[Tigster]

I woke up this morning and was thinking this exact same thing. We have two wonderful but very energetic boys, maybe thats enough?

DH and I have always said 3 but at the moment with a 3yo and a 10mth old most days are a struggle. DH has started commenting that if we are going to have a 3rd we need to start ttc again. The thought of having another bub within 9mths scares me but then I think that DS1 will be in kindy next year and maybe things will get settle down a bit or I'll feel more able to cope once DS2 starts sleeping through the night.

In a way I know we'll at least try for a 3rd but I need a bit more time to get used to having 2.