[Gangnam Style]

Surely it's possible for him to report the children as missing/kidnapped to his local (state) police and let the FP do their thang, rather than applying for a recovery order in the Family Court?

This post has been edited by Vaginosaurus-Rex: 11/03/2012, 08:50 PM

[StudyMum]

Given that he doesn't know (and is only speculating) if she will return I think he is better off giving her a deadline to work to and whilst waiting for that to be up, get as much information/legal advice as possible so he is ready if it does become clear that she has no intention of returning. I only suggest a deadline and not going straight to recovery orders as she has gone to a country that allows for the recovery of the children if need be.

I know it doesn't really matter one way or another but did he instigate the separation? If she has no support here and isn't coping with the separation I can understand why she would return home to her support base - but I think she could of gone about it in a better way (ie discussing it with your friend). If she wants to return to the UK is he open to doing so as well so that they both have the support of their families?

[She-Ra]

Right or wrong in these case the court often sides with the birth mother

Ahem... she is the Mother of the children, and the courts dont "side" with mothers they take into account whats best for the children. So if the mother has been the majority carer and has no family support then, if it comes to that the courts "may" decide its ok for her to take the children back home where she has support.

I am not saying it is ok to up and take the kids like that, any parent would be devastated, of course, but as the OP says he doesnt know if she is planning to stay for good, and dont forget that the UK is signatory to the Hague convention so she cant just take off and stay there without his consent or a court battle.

[canuckmel]

I don't think it's really fair to demand she remain in a country where she doesn't have family support.

[crankybee]

Imagine being in this woman's position - all her family and his family in the UK (by the sound of it) and no support here...I can't blame her. Of course I feel for him too, but what a terrible position to be in.

[Mrs.Brown]

I don't think it's really fair to demand she remain in a country where she doesn't have family support.

If the mum isnt coping with the separation, which can be totally normal I do get that she wants her family around her. I do get that. But like a PP said there are better ways of handling it and IMO taking off without the consent of the dad has probably done more harm than good. Im sure when orders are finally made this will not look good for her, and its a shame that she couldnt of handled it better.

And the thing is, while to some it may seem not fair to stay in a country where there is no family support, it is also not fair for the dad to not be able to see his kids, know if they are ok, see how they are coping with it all.

It seems that mum does have some emotional problems since the separation ( understandable ) but taking off wasnt the best course of action.

I did like a PP'rs suggestion of dad getting in contact with mum and talking about it, and giving her a firm time to return, to sort it out. That makes it less stressful for her if the authorities are not involved, and also gives her a little time to think. If she does not return within the timeframe, then I strongly feel dad has every right to involve the law and get the children returned home.

[She-Ra]

I'll probably have my detractors keeling over with what I'm going to say and hopefully they might realise I'm not the manhater they think I am. They are his kids too and unless he has been abusive or she is stuck in some place with no opportunities then it is not right that she takes off with the kids, that's why we have the Hague convention. I'm actually in awe that people think its ok.

[LK1]

He needs to call Legal Aid tomorrow, and his local legal advisory service.
He does not need to already have court orders in place to apply for a recovery order, but he does need to apply ASAP. Not wait a month. The longer he waits, the more the situation becomes "status quo" and his chances are lessened.
Austlii is a great place to search for orders/cases that have happened.

[canuckmel]

And the thing is, while to some it may seem not fair to stay in a country where there is no family support, it is also not fair for the dad to not be able to see his kids, know if they are ok, see how they are coping with it all.

What's stopping him moving back to the UK to be close to the kids? He could have been the ONLY support his partner had, now without him, you're asking her to be all alone on the other side of the world. I have tons of support here, but there are times I could just run back to Canada. It's hard living abroad.

I'll probably have my detractors keeling over with what I'm going to say and hopefully they might realise I'm not the manhater they think I am. They are his kids too and unless he has been abusive or she is stuck in some place with no opportunities then it is not right that she takes off with the kids, that's why we have the Hague convention. I'm actually in awe that people think its ok.

I'm not saying it's great or OK, but that sometimes, people ONLY consider the father in these situations and not the mother.

[Mexy]

Maybe the separation has been hard on her and she just wants to go home.

Umm, so what? she had no right to take the kids away from the father.

Surely it's possible for him to report the children as missing/kidnapped to his local (state) police and let the FP do their thang, rather than applying for a recovery order in the Family Court?

Nope - Police will direct him to a lawyer or to call the Govt re Hague.

I don't think it's really fair to demand she remain in a country where she doesn't have family support.

What the hell? It is not fair for her to skip the country with the children. It is not about her - it is about the children and being taken away from the father like that is all kinds of wrong.

As for your question about what's stopping him moving to the UK - they both chose to live here. It is not her right to just pack up and leave like this.