[LambChop]

Start of year is always a b**ch for us, transition back in to school routine takes a good month, we're only just settling this week. Up to now I've had loads of 'burn out' upset behaviour at home (he holds it together in class then purges at home).

I've recently done a big switch around of routine that seems to have really helped. It used to be

School pick up
Light afternoon tea
Play outside or wherever
5pm screen time (tv/computer)
6.30pm Dinner/Bath/Bed

Now its

School pick up
Screen time
4.30pm dinner
Play time
6.30pm Supper/Bath/Bed

I've found that he's wolfing down a huge plate of dinner, which I'd say means that he's not eating lunch (he finds the rush to eat lunch then go outside to play too stressful & distracting so often has two bites).

What sort of breakfast is he having ? Austin has a 'man size' bowl of porridge, and often extra's like a muesli bar.

I find that if Austin hunger flats, his ability to self manage his quirks dramatically drops and I get lots of blow out (like just yesterday in the shops when I didn't insist on a 'proper' breakfast, ended with him hiding in the tent shop and a 'scene' to get him in to the car and to the food shop lol...).

It is a transition time too, 11-14 years old is a big testosterone increase as uberman said, and I totally think that the impact of this is going to be stronger on our kids since it will effect their self managing. It's also an age where humans establish self identity, hence why early teens as soooo self absorbed. They're trying to work out who they are, separate from us, and trying to establish boundaries. If who you are is complex and 'weird', then again, I think it's all that more harder to work these things out.

ubermum - its not offensive to offer useful advice, it is however to post a one liner that sounded completely normalising and dismissive. How on earth does "It's probably puberty" help in anyway? What would have been useful is for you to share the sorts of behaviours you've experienced and how you think they could be translating for Matty in what the OP described in terms of the amount of trouble he is having self managing in class. And even more helpful, would be some suggestions on things to do to ride the storm of puberty in a child with special needs....

[ubermum]

Lambchop I only posted a one liner for a reason. I wanted the op to consider that normal biological processes could be coming into play. I was not trying to be dismissive or rude but find that since my children are NT, usually anything I contribute here is discounted, valid or not, with no thought that I may have wider experience.

What I have found is that those with SN often experience the effects of hormones more keenly because they are dealing with their other conditions and this limits their coping ability for yet another onslaught of new feelings.

[Therese]

This is a forum of support and so I ask that you consider whether what you are posting is supportive. Yes it is a public forum, and so anyone can reply in here, but just because you can reply, doesn't mean that you should reply.

Please don't make this a thread about old issues between members.

[itsaboysworld]

Lambchop, thanks for the great reply. Its definitely something I will have a good look at and consider. much appreciated.

This post has been edited by Therese: 10/03/2012, 09:54 AM

[LambChop]

What I have found is that those with SN often experience the effects of hormones more keenly because they are dealing with their other conditions and this limits their coping ability for yet another onslaught of new feelings.

See now this is useful, can you see how on reflection your one liner could be taken without the benefit of your insight that you've added here.

Clearly the OP is struggling, adding in some compassion and understanding can really shift how your communication is taken (ie, as you intended instead of how it sounded).

[self edited out, sorry Therese...]

This post has been edited by LambChop: 10/03/2012, 09:46 AM

[Therese]

I have just edited a post and thank you for realising it needed to be done. I also really appreciate the self editing that happened.

Can we please move back to giving the OP advice and support.

[SleepyPlatypus]

I gave you respect, yet was totally ignored.

[itsaboysworld]

I gave you respect, yet was totally ignored.

I apologise. I didnt intend to ignore you, however your comment was overshadowed. Thank you for your reply. I did appreciate it.

[Therese]

I would really like to leave this thread open as there are some great suggestions in here. Please let's move on.

[Cat©]

I still tend to think its more related to something that has happened that he is stewing on, combined with the begining of hte school year and all the changes around you.

Sure puberty in children with ASD DOES have a huge impact on thier mental state (from about 10 up to 18!!) OMG! however that just intensifies the normal puberty issues, makes them worse than seen in other non ASD kids. It isnt the simple and only answer, there would have been another trigger to set it off.