[Jelly Bean 1988]

When did DTD stop hurting for you?

DS is 12wks now and still ouch skin feels tight around opening and inside hurts.



Everything was fine at ym 8 wk checkup.
Had multiple 2nd degree tears and stitches after baby.

[mummy.to.one]

It took awhile for the hurting to stop, a few times we had to stop, but it does get better. good luck and congratulations on your son.

[Becstarinator]

I had a lot of stitches inside and out....almost 3rd degree tear...so my man did not see much action for the first 8 months. It took a good 6 months for everything to feel normal again despite getting the all clear at my 6 week check up.

[Jenflea]

Plus if you're BF you can lack lubrication, which makes things more uncomfortable.

[Paddlepop]

I had 4th degree tearing plus a fistula (hole) torn between my vagina and bowel. Lots of stitching internally and externally. Probably took about 8 to 12 months at least with lots of lubricant and being very careful.

The scars where the stitches are take time to soften and stretch. You can help this by gently stretching yourself once you are healed to help the scars loosen up.

Don't forget that all that tearing and stitching will have altered your nerve sensations. This should go back to normal after a period of time.

If you remain in significant pain after 6 months or so, it might be worth being referred to an OB/Gyn to see if the scarring needs to be revised and redone in theatre.

12 weeks is still really early in the healing. Just be patient and take things very gently.

[libbylu]

Plus if you're BF you can lack lubrication, which makes things more uncomfortable.

YES this. If you are breastfeeding your hormones make it so that things are a bit dry down there, and thus can be rather painful. Lubrication is the way to go until your hormones get back to normal. We still have a tube of 'Summer's Eve' in the drawer - don't need it any more though! DH and I always used to laugh at the hilarious attempts to be discrete in product naming! Or you could always go KY Jelly!

[Jelly Bean 1988]

Im not BF unfortunately so no problems with dryness

[popsuko]

Hey! You're doing well to be managing it at all at this stage. I had a 2nd degree vaginal wall tear that required stitches with DS. I wasn't able to go through with DTD until he was 4 months old, and it was excruciating until he was 9 months old. I found all the information I got from health professionals, doctors, maternal child health nurses was quite optimistic about recovery times. I went to a GP to get it checked sometime between 4-6 months when it still hurt & the health nurse said it should be ok by now. Doc said it all looked fine and I shouldn't be getting any pain from the tear site but that I had a bit of thrush so that was prob the cause! I have a yeast intolerance and have lived with thrush on & off my whole life. It was not due to thrush!! It was the tear site. So, I was reassured that it was healing well and there was nothing wrong there but confused as to why sex was still painful. It wasn't until I started asking other mums that I came across the idea that it was normal for sex to be painful for up to a year after giving birth. Not great news, but I was so relieved to find that out! And it did get better. After 9 months it stopped being extremely painful, and the first time it felt like sex used to feel was at 11 months. Things kept improving after that, although occasionally it was still sensitive if we were impatient with foreplay & attempted penetration without sufficient lubrication. That was at the 2 yr mark.
I've just had DD 3 weeks ago and had a C3 3rd degree tear this time. I've decided to not even attempt any activity down there for 3 months this time to give it a good chance to heal. Last time we started trying stuff at 6 weeks. At which point even just digital penetration was too painful & we left it again for a while.
Also, in the lead up to DD's birth DH was massaging the old tear site with evening primrose oil every night. Our midwife said it helps to soften the scar tissue. I felt like it was really good for it. It just felt better. Less sensitive. So we're also going to try applying the evening primrose oil to the tear earlier this time. Maybe from 3 months. To aid the healing. You could give that a go. Good luck.

[YandiGirl]

I had an episiotomy with forceps delivery with my son and I was tender along the scar until I had my daughter 2 years later and I tore back along the same scar, and a bit more. Since then, no problems. My doctor was considering steroid injections at the time to see if that would help but I didn't end up having them, no idea why I didn't, it was 20 years ago now.