[johntanya]

What makes a good midwife? Is it a case of a midwife advocating for the woman's wishes? Is it guiding appropriate care that is for the good of the baby and not necesarily based on her birth plan or wishes? Do male midwives than females? What do you think?

[Etcetera]

Listening.
Whether it's listening to what the woman is actual saying or more subtle clues, I think it is the most important skill to have.

[steffijade81]

I wouldnt mind if the midwife caring for me was male or female although on issues like breastfeeding or things involving private regions after birth I would like if it was a male to just ask if I'm ok with it. Then again I would expect any midwife to ask before touching my body. I think mainly what I loved about some of my midwives during and after the birth of my DD was the caring sympathetic nature. Nothing worse than a midwife that clearly isnt happy about being at work today or thinks you've made a stupid request or asked a stupid question. I mainly encountered that with the younger midwives. Its a very emotional time I believe when you have just given birth and during those baby blues stages I just wanted to be reassured. I had some midwives that would take a minute to sit with me and reassure me what I was feeling was normal and that I was doing a great job and others that would just talk to you like your stupid. Its alot of pressure especially for a first time mum trying to have first goes at breastfeeding and caring for a newborn. I appriciated the compassion I was shown by most of the midwives I had during my stay.

[trishalishous]

listen to me
respect my wishes/questions
ask me before doing anything
dont patronise me EVER

[new~mum~reenie]

Leave your problems at the door. Personal life should not effect the care you give. The parents are about to have a baby.

Leave your personal opinions at the door. We all have our own thoughts and beliefs in birth. But this is MUMS birth. If she wants natural, don't push meds. If she wants relief, get it. Etc.

Offer mum suggestions in a caring manner. But don't use pressure or bullying tactics.

If mum is crying, there is no need to yell at her ( oh yeh, a friend was telling me a MW had her in tears BERATING her for not waking baby after 4 hours sleep for a feed! Baby was contented and was fed when she woke at 5 hours!!!)

[Guest_Retro_Mumma_*]

Being strong enough so that the expectant mother has faith and trust in you but not so overpowering that the mother thinks she is being steamrolled and just ignored.

I had some really lovely midwives at my birth that encouraged me and told me everything was ok, everything was normal, I was doing just fine and then I had once b**ch that talked to me in a patronising voice and told me basically to get over myself and asked me "didnt you go to antenatal class?" when I was going through transition.

She was out of there pronto, there is no need to be mean to a scared first time mum in labour - nothing no book, no antenatal class can prepare you for birth.

[natalierose6]

What makes a good midwife? Is it a case of a midwife advocating for the woman's wishes? Is it guiding appropriate care that is for the good of the baby and not necesarily based on her birth plan or wishes? Do male midwives than females? What do you think?

I think a good midwife is someone who is caring and considerate. Someone who encourages the woman and helps her to have the best possible labour. I think a birth plan is a nice idea but things don't always go to plan, so women need to be properly informed by their caregivers that they may have a birthplan but it may not work that way on the day.

Personally I do not like the idea of a male midwife. I am a very conservative person and find it weird that men want to be midwives and obstetricians. I don't see a male GP, nor have I ever. I specifically request females when I want to see a GP, osteopath, physio, any type of health care provider. Men can be trained as much as they want but they will never understand something like labour unless they have gone through it. Similarly female midwives who have not experienced labour wouldn't have the right perspective on things.