[KB16]

Hi!

I'm expecting our first, and even though the ultrasound tech could only guess, she said boy. We already have a girl's name picked out that both DH and I could agree on, but we are lost for boys. He doesn't like my choices, I don't like his.

Some of My Likes:
Oscar/Oliver (He kind of liked Oscar, then changed his mind.)
Daniel
Parker
Rowan
Asher (Straight No)

Some of His Likes:
Nick (not Nicholas, which I didn't mind)
Trent
Shawn (the spelling here gets me, I like "Sean" but he says he hates that spelling)

I'm also having trouble with our surnames. Even though we're married, I kept my maiden name because he has some negative feelings towards his family and doesn't want me or any future children to have that surname. I suggested at least hyphenating our names, because I don't want him to be left out if the kids all have my surname. (Does this make sense?) So any opinions on hyphenating names, or is it more work then needed? Both our surnames are short, mine's 2 syllables starting with B, his is one starting with R, if that helps with any name suggestions.

Thanks and sorry for the rambling.

[Bel Rowley]

I'm not sure why it matters if he has a different surname to your kids, I have a different surname to my kids (I am also married and didn't change my name) and I don't feel 'left out'.

As for first names, have you tried Nymbler? You could enter some of the names you like, some that he likes, and see if it comes up with any suggestions you both like.

[bluedragon]

I prefer your taste in names, particularly Oliver, Oscar and Rowan. Shawn would be a straight no from me with a possible to Sean, that is the only spelling I can cope with.

What about Owen?

As for the surname issue. We have hyphenated DSs name. I know many people don't like to do that but for us it was what works. DH's surname with my first name sounds beyond rediculous and I want us to have a 'family' name so we all go by the hyphenated name.

If your DH has issues with his name would he consider changing his name to yours, we considered this for a time too.

[la di dah]

Would he be open on you both changing your surname to a third name? Or mashing them, Smithjones rather than Smith-Jones? I just find hyphens tend to get broken and clunky.

Suggestions based on his names:
Nick - Nicholas, Dominic
Trent - Troy, Tristan, Tobias
Shawn - Shane? I like it better than this spelling of Shawn. I like Sean or nothing for this name. Shane, Zane, Seamus, Silas.

Suggestions based on yours:
Daniel - I like Daniel. But anyway - Dashiell, Declan, Dion, Dean and just clean simple Dan.
Parker - Piers, Pierce, Patrick.
Rowan - I quite like Rowan. Other possibilities: Ronan, Raoul, Rhys, Rhett, Reuben.

[Abcde-La-A]

Hamish
Tristan
Hayden
Rory

And I'd suggest your DH taking your surname too - if he is not keen on passing on his surname, perhaps he'd prefer not to keep it himself either? Is this something he'd consider?

[mad madam mim]

with the surname I would suggest he change his surname to yours if he doesn't like his, it's easy to do. I am not a fan of Hyphenating the surnames.

With names DH and I had the same problem, we have different tastes but in the end both came to a compromise and found a name we both liked (I am with you on the spelling of Sean aswell lol).

[Dabri]

We have a hyphenated surname in a one-two syllable pattern, it flows well and sounds good to us. We wanted a family surname but also liked the sense of equality from hyphenation - plus given we're both from families of only girls, we didn't want to choose a third name as we're both the only option of the family name carrying on.

I like Nicholas, Daniel, Rowan and Sean from your joint lists. Would your DH agree to the spelling Rohan instead - or could you compromise on Shaun?

I don't think you have that divergent taste in names - as a PP suggested, maybe try nymbler.com and see how you go?

[libbylu]

What about Euan or Ewan? Much nicer than Rowan I think.

You can have two surnames without it being hyphenated. ie Ewan King Smith
I don't think it is an issue if you don't use his sirname, but some people may assume he is not the father or you are separated. It is so common for the children to have the father's last name or a combination of both, but less common to have only the mother's unless the parents are separated. No reason you can't encourage a new trend though.

[KB16]

Thanks for all the suggestions, I headed over to Nymbler and have a new list of hopefuls as well as some of the ones you guys mentioned here to present him when he's back from working away.

He's considered switching to my surname in the past, but the thing that sets him off of it (after I stupidly pointed it out...) is his first name and my surname comes out to a famous name of character in an older movie. And he was definitely was not all "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn..." If you know what I mean.

Some names suggested we can't use as they are already names of our nephews or other close relatives:

Shane
Hayden
Dominic
Tobias, as we have a Toby in the family.

Another point, we can't use James either as one of his siblings has taken their grandfather's name and used it as every middle name for their 5 boys... Creativity runs amok in this family.

[*Lena*]

I like Daniel and Asher out of your list. The others are not my taste.
Love Shawn (personally I agree with DH with the spelling Sean I just don't see how that spells it to me it looks like it should be pronounced like it rhymes with bean, although I know this is the traditional spelling. I would actually spell it Shaun but thats probably because I knew a man and this is the way it was spelt)

With the last name thats a hard one. If he didn't want his name mentioned then I would just go with your surname. He can always change his later as it seems he doesn't like being associated with his last name.