[cordyline]

I agree with PPs, start trying now. You are well placed.

We started trying when i was 26 (I wasnt sure then if I was ready) and I am now 30 and multiple IVF cycles and a couple of miscarriages later I dont know if I will ever be a mum.

Even now - I have fears about how life will change, how will my career be affected, finances etc. Ironically, even though we dont have a baby 4.5 yrs of TTC/IVF etc has affected my career, our finances, our relationship etc. Not in a bad way - just life is different. Guarantee that TTC and a baby will change your life, your perspective on things. But is that a bad thing - isnt this why some of us that innate desire to have a family?

Good luck.

[sharkie81]

I also could have written your post OP.

But I can assure you that your career can continue to be fulfilling and progressive. I left a management position when my maternity leave ended (had been in the role for 6+ years and wanted a change). Moved over into a government position and have climbed the ranks again over the past year or so. I'm now planning to start TTC our second child.

My advice: start living on one income now and save the extra. That way, when you do need to have one of you out of work, it won't seem like much of a change and you will still have plenty of savings. We saved enough to pay our mortgage for a year as we each spent 6 months at home during DS's first year of life. It meant we could use the one income for living expenses. We plan to do the same for our second baby.

There is never a right time to have a baby. You could always do with more money, or be in a slightly better position- but you seem well set up already. Your career bounces back. Good luck with it!

[libbylu]

The baby itself doesn't cost anything (if you use the public system). The main cost is in lost earnings for the time that you spend at home and the time you go back part time.
Childcare is not a huge issue if your income is reasonable, as the government gives you 50% back. So if you are on $70,000 a year you will be earning about $250 a day (before tax). An expensive childcare centre is $100 a day, you end up paying $50 after the rebate. So while it is a significant cost, relative to your income it is okay. You will also be entitled to some family tax benefit, which is not much, but helps a little. Getting a place in childcare can be an issue as there are long waiting lists in some areas.

The main thing to work out is how much money you can live off, how much time you want to take off and how many days per week you might want to go back to work when you do return. Returning full time in the first 12 months would be extremely difficult physically and emotionally for most people and in case you or your baby have health issues (unlikely of course) it is good to be able to have a bit of time up your sleeve.

As for your career concerns, well do you have a mentor in your industry/company? It's often good to have a chat with someone experienced in your area.

[Lainskii]

Childcare costs vary depending what kind of care you want and where you live.

Family day care is generally cheaper but there may not be one near you (there isn't one anywhere near us). Long Day Cares range in price from around $50 in some areas to the $150 dollar mark in sydney/north shore. Nannnys/Au Pairs range in price as well but would be the most expensive option because currently you don't get the childcare rebate.
The best idea would be to research your area and ring a few places and just enquire about their rates. You don't need to see them yet but you'll get a feel for the cost. Add about 10% because by the time you need to use them I'm sure their prices will have gone up.

Will your career suffer? - depends on what you want in life. There are women at my work who came back after 3 months, full time and no their career hasn't suffered. Others (like myself) have opted to work part time and I have to say that at the moment my career is suffering, not badly but I can't move up or get involved in things I did previously from the sheer fact that I currently don't want to work 5 days a week. It is a decision I've made at this point in my life. I figure that I'll probably need to work until I'm 80 anyway so I'll have plenty of time when the kids are older.

For money - put away as much as you can now and try and get any major renovations done (having no kitchen when coming home from the hospital wasn't much fun). If you have a mortgage that allows redraw, put as much extra in there as you can now. Work out how much time you would like at home and then draw up a budget to see how much you'll have left over with DHs salary (or yours if DH stays at home) after mortgage repayments and bills. You'll then need to factor in things like nappies (disposables are more expensive but cloth can be time consuming), formula (if you can't breastfeed or have issues), clothes, furniture (and other bits and bobs that a baby needs).

Health wise - stop taking the pill if you are (and use other contraception if you don't want a baby straight away) and go to the Dr and tell them you are thinking of TTC. Get a blood test done to see if your immunity is up to date and then start taking multivitamins that have folate (you should ideally be taking these 2-3 months before TTC).
Check your health insurance covers pregnancy (if you want to go private).

Good luck OP, it is a hard decision. I waited a bit longer than you as I wanted to try and make a dent in our mortgage before TTC as I knew that I didn't want to go back to work full time.

[Done]

The main cost is in lost earnings for the time that you spend at home and the time you go back part time.

This isn't really a loss, it's an opportunity cost. The fact is having children does cost money and you will never recoup that but what they give you back will more than repay it.


Am I getting too old?
I think for a first baby, your at a great age. Gives you time to conceive and if there are problems, then it gives you time to follow up and take the path you need to have the family you want. If all goes well and you conceive easily it gives you time to have either another child or another 2,3,4 or however many would be best for your family


Can we afford to have a baby without having any family assisted child care?
Yes you can! As pp have said you can be looking at around $130 per day in Sydney, but you do get 50% back, capped at $7500.

Will my career be over if we start a family?
Depends. What is your employer like? Have you seen other women in your workplace return to work after children? How have their careers progressed and how were they treated by the employer?

I simply have no idea as to how much child care will cost me if we choose to start a family and is it that high that I will have to go to work full time?
If you have to work full time will probably be dependent on what hours your employer will be happy for you to come back and how you want your career to develop

I don't know how much the government gives you back?
http://www.familyassist.gov.au/payments/
have a read through here - it can be confusing. most payments are based on an annual family income, so depending when you have your baby, you may not be entitled to much if anything if you and your partner have earned good money that financial year.

I would start tracking where your $150k is going and start budgeting now to be able to live on one income. This means that you will have paid down some of your loan before baby arrives and be able to redraw if need be. It will help you work out how much time you and your partner can take off work. and if you decide for some reason that you or your partner aren't going to return to work, then it gives you that choice too.


If you pay $3.5k a month in mortgage, that means you need $42k to cover your mortgage a year. Then you have insurances, rates, food, electricity, gas, water, phone, internet, cars, fuel etc

mortgage 42k
car fuel, insurance, rego etc 5k
food $10k
rates/strata, elec, water, gas $8k
phone, mobile, internet $2k
life insurance, health insurance, house insurance etc $3k
plus the extras that make life good and those that can pop up! entertainment, eating out, clothing, shoes, doctors visits, medicines, dentist, haircuts, grooming, cosmetics, sports/gym, newspapers, mags, foxtel, gifts, going to weddings, new lounge, tv's, urgent household repairs, holidays etc say $5k
so probably you need in total to live comfortably a take home pay of $75k.

You will have to add the child care to this of course if both you and your husband return to work.


All the best with what you and your partner decide to do.

[bec_1108]

I could have written this post 6 months ago. I'm slightly older than you, with similar income and mortgage, we are renovating our house, enjoy spending money on whatever takes our fancy, and have my mum overseas with DH's mum being focused on his brother's kids. I also am career focused and the primary income earner. DH and I started TTC this month. It's taken a while to get to the point of being comfortable with the idea of making the inevitable sacrifices. We aren't doing anything extra financially at the moment - we figure people manage on a lot less than us - however paying more off the mortgage is a good idea. I don't think there is ever a right time, and that fact that we have actually started TTC scares the beejezus out of me sometimes, but I've realised that I can always have a career, but there is only a limited window for me to have kids. Good luck with your decision OP.

[busy_bee]

I could have written that word for word.... DS is 1 in a few weeks and I had him just after I turned 30.

I found that in similar circumstances, there was never really a 'right time' no lightbulb moment that it had to be. I had 3 months working overseas for work so decided that it would be my "last hurrah" for a while, and cherished that time and lived like I was 21 again. DH came over at the end of my project and we spent a month or so travelling together before coming home to TTC.

I found even when we were TTC things were always popping up on the radar...."that opportunity looks good, how about we TTC after I do that".....but then you realise that there will ALWAYS be 'another thing' and fertility isn't forever.

Yes my work has taken a sideways/backwards step but I wouldn't have it any other way now that DS is here.

The other thing I found is that while all those 'opportunities' may not be feasible now, there are many more that become available that you never even knew about. I went from wonder how I was ever going to get back into the swing of things, to turning down offers for part time/casual positions etc. In my area at least , there are lots of little consulting/committee/council/project type positions that only need a small commitment, and many people would do these on top of their day jobs. But as a PP said, keep sweet with work, and if you do want to go back just part time or casual, put it out there, keep the networks open, and all sorts of opportunities may open up that you hadn't previously even known about.

Good luck!

[clm1982]

Start Now!

You both earn a decent enough wage to be able to put your baby in childcare should you wish to go back to work.

Childcare cost me $62 a day and everyone gets 50% back of that. So $250 a week maximum if your paying $100 a day less 50% rebate.

[juney12]

You sound like me 8 years ago! Fortunately for me I accidentally became pregnant I was 32 and the had another at 34.
There never is a right time and you will always think of excuses. Yes things will change, it will be hard, but it is an exciting change. I took 10 months maternity leave and then went back part-time 3 days. We used childcare but remember you get 50% back, I love my work and while I am there I am 100% focused but I have different priorities now. I would not change my circumstances for anything in the world.

[*mylittleprince*]

Life will be different but better different not bad different. You can always take a years maternity leave and return to work part/full time depending on your wants and needs. Most people get 50% of the daycare fees back but I think it's up to a maximum of $7,500 a year per child or something like that so you might want to look that up. The set up costs can be expensive (everything new, every gadget and toy) or relatively inexpensive (2nd hand, etc). Many people have no family help and cope. I'm a SAHM and have only one family member in Australia who lives in a different state. I'm also expecting twins and you just cope because you have to. Part-time work might be easier if it's available to you as you can earn money and spend time with your baby and get things done around the house. Good luck with your decision. I wouldn't rush it but I wouldn't leave it to late as you never know how long it will take.