[roses7]

My niece and my DD have started FYOS together. SIL walks past my house on her way to and from school. She has offered numerous times to pick up DD on the way there/home. I don't need the help usually, as I work from home, so I politely make excuses.

But the reality is I don't trust her. She doesn't supervise her children properly around roads/cars. Twice in the last couple of weeks I have witnessed her 2 year old run onto the road because she is allowed to run ahead of SIL who was pushing the pram. She allows her 2 and 5 year olds to cross roads which have no crossing or lights, without holding her hand or the stroller - they just walk/run ahead of her. She lets them run ahead, out of her sight, on streets where cars are regularly reversing out of driveways. I find walking home with her so stressful as I am just waiting for her kids to be run over.

My DD is very sensible and stops automatically at streets and carparks to hold my hand, and checks driveways. But she is 5, and I can't guarantee that she won't get overexcited with her cousins and do something uncharacteristic. So for now DH and I have decided that we won't allow SIL to walk her to and from school.

Today my DS was sick and I asked a friend to collect DD. I've now had a text from SIL "reminding me" that she is always happy to walk DD home. I'm certain she is offended.

WWYD? Keep offending her by not accepting her offers or create one big offence by telling her you don't trust her to keep DD safe?

[Pupalumps]

I think I'd tell her that walking her to and from is something you really enjoy. Eg on the way you talk about the day ahead, on the way back you find out what happened. And that working from home you like to also get fresh air and exercise. Maybe she'll see it as an important part of your day rather than a chore she's taking off your hands.

[katbalou]

I would avoid rather than confront. Just pretend being her first year of school that you are really enjoying walking her to school. Or make a joke of it by saying "sorry, but I'm a control freak" and laugh or something. But then I hate confrontations.

[FluffyOscar]

I'd tell my SIL that my DD still forgets to look up the driveways and tends to run off when she is excited or has friends around to distract her, so you feel comfortable making sure you walk her to school whenever you can. But thanks so much for the offer!

[~kitteh.hoardere...]

I'd just be saying that it's important for you to make contact with the teacher regularly.

[Kavity]

maybe offer to join up and walk together?

[BadgerBasher]

I'd say that walking your DD to school was part of your all new get-fit plan.

Then make a get-fit plan that includes that. 2 birds, one stone.

[Sweet like a lem...]

I would be honest (well to a point) and just say that watching your neice / nephew run off ahead makes you very uncomfortable and you would rather your DD has closer supervision around roads.

This post has been edited by ForsakenTruth: 24/02/2012, 05:11 PM

[Kat255]

Could she be asking because she doesn't want to do the walk and would like you to reciprocate the offer? (ie, her walk her kids to your place and you walk them the rest of the way).

If you don't trust her, then keep walking your DD, but that may explain why she keeps asking, even after you have said 'no'.

If that is the case, you may be able to defuse the situation by walking her DD to school once or twice a week (if you were happy to that is).

But ... if you offer and she says "I don't trust you to walk my DD to FYOS"... then please update us!!!

[tamjk]

WWYD? Keep offending her by not accepting her offers or create one big offence by telling her you don't trust her to keep DD safe?

WWID?
I'd create the one big offence by telling her I don't trust her ability to supervise your DD adequately. But then I have it on good authority that I have zero tact and am a rude pushy cow to boot!