[lovelove2012]

How long does it take for a toddler(2 years old and 4 years old) to stop crying at a childcare? how long does it take for them to get used to childcare going twice a week and stop crying when u leave?


How long should i give it before i think that they dont like it there?

This post has been edited by lovelove2012: 20/02/2012, 10:09 PM

[Brownie22]

My DD cried every drop off for the first 5 months! She was 3.5. I used to call about 15 mins after I left and they'd say she was fine. A couple of times I peeked in after she thought I was gone and she was playing happily. At the end of the day she would tell me what she did and who she played with so I knew she was doing fine while there. It was hard but she has come a long way. I think you should consider things other than tears at drop off to gauge whether your child really does not like it. Good luck!

[Me+2]

I can't say for every child but for my 2 year old, he stops crying in about 30 seconds or when he can't see me anymore.

When I shut the door to his room he stops and plays. I've watched him through the glass in the door.

[F1widow]

For younger babies (under 2 I think) I've heard that it takes 10 visits. That was about right for my 10 month old. Since your kids are going twice a week, I would leave it at least 6 weeks.
In terms of deciding if they don't like it, are your kids old enough to ask? Speak to the careers, if they play happily after you've gone then it's probably just separation anxiety.

[Hootabelles]

All depends I think.
For my confident little one, who went only 1 day a week, she was fine to begin with but then after about 1 month she started to slowly hate it. I would walk her there and she would cry the whole way. By the time we got there she was hysterical..I couldn't find out why. SHe would just cry 'please don't leave me here.' I ended up pulling her out after 4 more weeks as I couldn't handle it. The center didn't help either and would say she was fine after I left but I used to watch from out a hallway and she would still be hysterical.
I figured there was no way I could traumatise her anymore. She started to have night terrors and wet her bed as well which was never an issue...it has broken our hearts.
Kinder though she loves...makes me wonder about that cc place

I really think it will be different for each child and also how the center handles it as well. Mine did nothing. I would be trying to peel her off me and they would stand there saying she will be ok..ah yeah if she lets me go maybe! I personally think it had a lot to do with the center. Mine is on the city edge and a big center(160 kids) where I think staff are in and out more than kids....it was incredible how the staff rotated there. I can honestly say there was only 1 there that looked to even like her job..the rest would just wander around and talk amongst themselves. Each time I was there a child would come up to me and ask me for water, a hat , toilet or their mum..it was horrible. I wondered what they did there with the kids as they seemed annoyed most of the time with them and never playing (could tell with their tone of voice eg- 'what..I can hear you, just wait already' ) That was the day I cancelled her spot!

[moomin mamma]

My 2 y.o. doesn't cry. Says "See you" and walks in. She is full time now. She is at a small daycare, 12 kids under 3 and 18 kids in the big kids group. One kid was pulled out after 3 months as she sat and cried and cried for almost an hour every day (part time). Most kids there stop crying as the parent walks out the door. Staff there are great, many have been there 15 plus years. I think their chef has been there for almost 30 years.

When Miss Two was part time, they recommended that the two days were beside each other, eg. Monday and Tuesday. They said that was easier for the kids to remember and helped them fit it quicker.

No, hang on, Miss Two does cry, when she is sick and CAN'T go to daycare!!!

[lovelove2012]

At my childcare centre, i see lots of children crying everyday and the workers just ignore them. Its so frustrating cause i feel they are probably doing that to my son. I have seen my son running after them so they can hold him and they carry him and then let him down after 30sec, but thats cause they saw me looking.

[BornToLove]

DD attends full time, she stared attending at 18 months. It took her less than two weeks to adjust to being at day care. Caveat: DH does drop off so there isn't the mommy guilt for her to feed her emotions off of. I feel this makes a huge difference in how quickly she adjusted to daycare. I am sure if I took her in the beginning she would cry at drop off for the first month.
I have heard form a number of people, daycare workers and other parents, that it can take upwards of 6 months for a part time kid to adjust to daycare (3 days a week or less). The kids just don't go often enough and it confuses them, making it harder to bond with the workers and other kids.
My niece is in part time family daycare back home (in Canada). The woman who runs it insisted my niece attend full time for a month before dropping to part time purely so the adjustment process is faster and easier. The woman has a very detailed transition plan for all new kids entering her care, so yes the people providing care make the biggest difference.

[sarkazm76]

We're going through this with our 1 year old and it's just so upsetting. The centre is reasonably good - they admit he's upset in the mornings, great in the middle of the day and starts getting upset again when other kids start getting picked up. We've changed his days to Mon-Tues as they also recommend 2 days together is better. Last Friday I could still hear him screaming all the way from the front door I don't care what "they" say... I don't believe that is ok. DH went back in to give him his dummy and calm him down and he had thrown up all over his carer and the room from being so distraught Then on the weekend he was very different with all the other people in our lives.... which he never has been before. So I met a friend at the shops to have a coffee... he sees her more than any of my other friends. She said hello to him and that was all good (he was in his stroller) we took 5 steps toward the coffee shop and I heard him crying, looked around the stroller and he was HYSTERICAL. I had to lift him up and carry him. By the time we had sat down, ordered drinks and eats, he was in a highchair... he was perfectly OK. Sunday night we went to a friends for dinner for his birthday..... again he knows these people well (couple of new faces). We walked in, same thing, panicky and very very upset, clinging to his dad. Calmed him down and he was ok.... someone knocked at the door so I answered it as I was closest, it was good friends who we spent DS's birthday with just 2 weeks ago. He lost it again.

It's early and I'm rambling... I should just say - agree with PP that it's not about whether they cry on arrival necessarily but if you see a change in their behaviour in other places. To put your mind at ease for now try leaving, waiting 5 minutes then peaking back in.... if my child were still VERY upset after 5 minutes I'd be pretty worried. What we are faced with now is that DS might just not be ready. We're keeping an eye on it and talking to my therapist next week about what to do and how long to keep taking him. I don't think that even the point where they stop crying at drop off means they are happy to be there. It's very hard for them to be in a strange place without their family. But if I see he is ok in other areas of life then I will feel more reassured from that.

Oh and I don't agree with the hand over and run method either. We get DS involved in playing, then have the carer take our spot, say goodbye (NEVER SNEAK OUT) and head out. Usually less upsetting for all then when he screams

[BlondieUK]

It took DS2 from September to December to stop crying. He's fine now. Waves to me from the window and blows me a kiss.

I am one to think that if your child is old enough to realise that you are 'leaving' then it's not such a bad thing to leave them with someone other than you once in a while.......but I have friends who think that child care is like sending your child to hell for a day. Mind you, the way some of the parents let their children behave, the analogy of 'demon' is actually a kind moniker for some of them!