[ChickenRose]

I'm expecting #1 in a couple of months, and I've noticed an ongoing theme on EB where posters seem disillusioned and disappointed in the amount of help they get from their partner. I'm hoping to nip this in the bud (if possible) by setting up some clear expectations with my partner, and would be really interested to hear what has worked well for others!

At the moment I do most of the housework as I've been home for the last few months with only a bit of casual work. DP helps out on the weekends if I give him tasks, but otherwise I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, finances etc. That's changing this semester as I'm starting some full time study, and DP knows that his housework free existence is ending .

DP works full time (leaves home a bit after 8 and is back again by 6, no overtime or working from home) and is doing 1 subject this semester. He gets one half day off a fortnight for study leave, and really only needs 2-3 hours a week for his studies. Our workloads will be the same once the baby arrives, although I can cut back a bit in second semester if need be.

I'd like to take advantage of the next 2 months to kind of train him up in what our new routine will be. I know it sounds a bit horrible saying it like that, given he's an adult and not a labrador, but he's not naturally tidy or inclined to do housework so it's really the reality. Having not had a baby before though, I don't really know what assistance I'm going to find most helpful, so would love to hear suggestions from others!

[AryaStar]

OP, I know u didn't ask for this advice, but just a red flag went up when you said u were continuing uni once bubba was born. I hope u r st least giving yourself a semester off, because u may struggle to even do part time study. I was hoping to return to part time study by the time DS was three months old, but I did not have a sleeper, so didn't go back until he was eight months. Hope u don't mind my extra two cents worth!

I am glad that someone else was thinking this too. Before I had my first baby I had no idea just how incredibly time consuming they can be. That whole cliche about not even finding time to shower is true for a lot of people. Even if you get a good sleeper it is still emotionally and physically exhausting and I cannot imagine studying and having a newborn either. My brain turned to mush

FWIW I think there will be a lot of pressure on you both if you are going to try and combine studying with work, a newborn baby and getting all the household duties done. If you and your DH have an option to defer your studies I'd seriously think about it.

Great advice from PPs though, and good luck!