[Micho]

Hello,
My DD is 3 1/2 and at the moment throwing mega tantrums. I've been lucky til now and she hasn't thrown many. Now we are at, on average, one a day. They usually last around half an hour. There doesn't seem to be any particular trigger. She screams and cries. When I try and talk to her she covers her face and screams/cries, if I ignore her she gets louder. She usually comes around by herself or I try and talk to her and ask what she wants/needs/what the problem is. She has done it once at the shops and I had to carry her out literally kicking and screaming. I really don't know what to do anymore (this is a bit of a vent as well). Nothing seems to be working. Just wondering what other parents are doing in these situations. I end up crying at almost every one cause I don't know what to do. I know that is probably not the best but I can't help it. If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it.
Thanks in advance.

[Manicmum]

Just love her, she doesn't know what to do either. My almost 4yo is having this trouble at the moment, including kicking and hitting, even in the street I have sat on the ground, with her two other sisters letting her know we all love her and we're sorry she's feeling upset, it takes a while. The other thing that works for me
sometimes is when it starts, go to her and don't rush her (that equals instant tanty here).

Good luck

Just love her, she doesn't know what to do either. My almost 4yo is having this trouble at the moment, including kicking and hitting, even in the street I have sat on the ground, with her two other sisters letting her know we all love her and we're sorry she's feeling upset, it takes a while. The other thing that works for me
sometimes is when it starts, go to her and don't rush her (that equals instant tanty here).

Good luck

[sparkles30]

Manicmum. Great advice! I find all the time outs, stern words, threats etc only make things worse. However, it is definitely not easy to "love her" through such awful behaviour, so I often resort to putting her in her room until she (and I) calm down.

[Cuddlesnkisses]

With my DD I would calmly tell her I wasn't going to
Listen of she continued behaving that way. Then I would carry on like nothing was happening. Once it was over I would sit down with her giving her a cuddle and explain that mummy loves her, but that I can't help her when she is screaming at me. We would talk about what she needed and move on. It has taught her to talk about what she needs. We still have the very rare tanty, but it's mostly if she is tired. At that age they have little control over there emotions and it is something that is learnt, takes lots of patience, lots of love and lots of cuddles, but she will get there. 2's were nothing, 3s were horrible for about 6 months and 4s is lots of spunk and attitude. my DD asked me today if we were breaking up.....

[Manicmum]

Going to her room or ignoring her makes it worse for her, it's fine for her twin sister, but she can't deal with the thought of being away from me in these times. She calms much faster now and always apologizes for her behavior when she's calm. On ocassion I do walk away if I need to, but that will generally get her into full flight. She has anxiety traits so I do play it carefully.

[Micho]

Thanks ladies.
Cuddlesnkisses, that is basically what I do, I need to be calmer, I'm trying. I guess it just takes time of doing it over and over. We always end with cuddles and kisses and talking about it. I'm looking forward to 4's..I think