[ABabyPlease]

Hi, I am nearly 43 and was blessed to have had a beautiful healthy son 5 months ago. We would like a sibling for him and my OB has OK'd me to TTC any time now. I have been a great Mum and my beautiful boy is a great sleeper and very easy baby. However, I have had lots of back and neck pain which makes me a bit irritable - and my son is only going to get heavier in the coming months. I am seeing a physio who is helping to develop my back strength.

So I'm trying to decide if I can cope physically with another pregnancy and another baby along with my son who will then be a toddler. I am reasonably fit, but a bit overweight and not a high energy "over-achiever" type IYKWIM....

Your thoughts or experiences?

[suziej]

Welcome to our (very quiet) part of the boards!!

I can't offer advice on your PARTICULAR scenario - I had my first early and my second late (so if you want to talk LARGE age gaps, I'm your girl) but it is a hard decision you face, I realise.

If it were me in your shoes and in an ideal world (so long as the pain isn't chronic), I would contemplate another. I had an only* for a long time and the joy I have given her (in my eyes) (and myself and my husband) was her little sister.

That being said - small gaps are not my forte, so hopefully others can offer their thoughts on that.

*Disclaimer - there is nothing wrong with an only child, however - all that time my girl was my one, I was ecstatic that I had her and there are things you can enjoy with just one child that the logistics go out of whack with 2.

Good luck - and congratulations on your son. They are blessings.

[It'sallgood]

You know what is an easy and great way to help upper back strength? Lie on the floor and get cans of beans or such and just use them to lift up and down...simple and effective.
I also have found that holding a door frame and leaning OUT to stretch the muscles around my upper back and neck a marvelous and easy exercise to do several times a day when walking past the door and busy! Hold it there, with all your body weight hanging against you, for about 30 seconds.

As for falling pg? Go for it. There is never a perfect time and if you want another child, it will all sort itself out. Unless you have some major contraindication for NOT being pregnant, the aches and pains will come and go anyway.

All the best.
Tamm

[Torquoise]

Hi to Baby #2 at 43 or 44.

My advice to you is to definitely try for baby number 2, even though your deeply thinking about your back. I am 43 and already have one child but would dearly love a second child like yourself. I have also had a disc bulge for the past 4 years which does irritate and annoy me most of time. I have seen a specialist and have been told to lose weight as I am overweight so hopefully that will help my back issue.
At times I think I shouldn't have a second child due to my ongoing back issues but I just think to myself that their are other's in worse situations doing it tough and I'm sure as Mum's we can sort things out.
I also keep telling myself that I don't want to have regret's when I'm 50 and look back and say to myself why didn't I have a second child.

If you would like to personal message me I'm fine with that.

Take care

Ciao

Torquoise

[sophiasmum]

I think if you are seeing a physio now then you are already taking steps to prepare for the eventuality of baby #2. I think you should start trying (due to your age, don't wait) and see what happens. A brother or sister for your baby would be wonderful.

[Red nut]

Can only speak about what I would do, but I'd be cracking on ASAP! Or at least the first possible month that you would consider it not a disaster to get a BFP. Keeping in mind statistically it probably won't be the first month... Sounds like you are doing all you can with your spinal issues, so why wait!

[ms flib]

I would go for it too!

All the best!

[flowerpuff]

Go for it - if you've been give the ok by your obs - more than 1 bubs is definately harder at times but double the joy....

I think I've finally "worn down" my hubby into having no.3 and I'm 39....

good luck...

[coolbreeze]

Yes if you think you want a second you should start now. At our age the changes of falling pregnant diminish each month statistically speaking,
Good luck and get going if thats what you think you want,
Cheers
CB

[ABabyPlease]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement - I really appreciate it. I think I am going to go for it, my now 9mo is getting easier to manage & easier to lift now that I get him to stand up first.

I have actually been on the mini pill for a few months - funny for a BF Mum of 43, but it gave me peace of mind. I'm going to stop it now & TTC!!!! Now we just have to find the time & energy to do the baby making.....