[Emily Thorne]

Good on you, OP, for venting here and not telling DP. I am sure you are just really, really tired and not thinking too straight, poor thing.

Re the one way ticket - perhaps put yourself in the MIL's shoes - she's probably just a bit too overwhelmed and sad to think about what date she would pick if she were to buy a return ticket. If they've been told that he only has a few days, then should she pick Thursday, for example? Is she really going to be able to go through a rational thought process to say, well, my father will be dead by Thursday so I'll book my son's return ticket for that day... Probably not something she can work through right now.

I'm sure she or your DP will happily book the return ticket when they know what's happening or are face to face and can plan better. I don't think it would be out of line if you were to discuss with DP, at some quiet moment, how long he thought he might be away. Given that he was there for 5 weeks last time. Then at least you'd have an end in sight. I don't think that, with a young family at home, he should think that he can go for an open ended amount of time. Presumably he would have issues with taking that much time off work again too.

[Guest_Buy Me A Cat!_*]

Then your issue is with your DP, not with your MIL undermining you. In a healthy relationship, if his grandfather rallies, you two can have a rational conversation and he can book a flight home.

Why didn't you include in your OP that this has happened previously and the last trip was 5 weeks? It's still really bad form to be laying this at the feet of your MIL when clearly your DH has issues with being assertive (or does he?). Your DH can always decline the ticket if he doesn't wish to go yet. No one can undermine an adult who doesn't wish to have their resolve weakened. It does sound as though there are bigger issues but when a relative is dying, is not the time to bringing up his family dysfunction. Sick child or not.

[Polly Esther]

The one-way ticket is probably because nobody knows when he'll die... or how long your partner might want to stay. Your partner is a grown man, he can book his own ticket home when he is ready to return.

[howdo]

I completely disagree with you, OP re: ill child shorter trip. DH flew interstate when I had three kids with Chicken pox because his mother broke her hip. Then she rallied and he came home. They were still a bit poxy when he got a call a week later that she was refusing food and might not survive.

It was a one way ticket. I had no idea when he would return. I had 3 ill children 1yr-4yrs. I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't get to the shops, I had no one I could ask to mind three infectious children to buy milk. They were itchy, grumpy, fractious and refusing panadol.

It wasn't easy, I didn't like it, I probably vented about it, but his actual dying mother trumped what we previously discussed would be the best dates.

You don't get back the time with a dying relative, even if it's a false alarm - they're still dying adn you will cope.

It could be worse - your kids could have chicken pox.

[babybeli]

I would fully support my DH going to see his grandfather.
Your little one will get much better every day and whilst it may be harder on you your partner may not get another chance to visit or say goodbye.
Please try not to make your partner feel guilty for having to ' make a choice' it has nothing to do with who his priorities are with

This

and how could she book a return flight she does not know what day he is going to pass and therfore when the funeral will be which surely your DH will want to participate in.

I know its hard and your tired but I dont think you should make your DH feel bad about wanting to see his grandfather for the last time.

[soontobegran]

It could be worse - your kids could have chicken pox.

Our 4 girls all got Chicken POX the day after I got home from hospital with #5, well the eldest got it then each DD came out in spots over the next week.
My DH was on holidays but had a golf tournament that took him away for a week over this time---it was so much fun. He did make up for his week away once he was home.

[Lyric]

Unless there is something missing here, I don't see how this is an issue? How could he have a return flight booked when they don't know when the grandfather will die or when the funeral will be? I don't understand what you want. Presumably you will be flying up for the funeral too, so no point in making return bookings now.

If it does end up being a longer visit, it's still simple. Your DH books a new ticket or you all fly to be with him.

[-Leah-]

Why doesn't your younger child go with your husband too? That way your husband gets to see his grandfather which he clearly needs too (and you obviously support) and some of the pressure is off you while taking care of your other child.

[belnryan]

I thought i was going to come in here and read that your dh was going on a boys weekend away the minute your son had surgery.

TBH your posts seems quiet selfish, his grandfather is DYING.

My sister flew interstate to see our dying grandfather and had a return ticket. She returned and he died several hrs later so she then had to fly back for the funeral.

Your MIL has no idea exactly when her father will die and therefor when the funeral will be, that is probably why she only booked a one way ticket. Once your dh is there he can decide if he flies home before his death and or funeral or after.

[idignantlyright]

Our 4 girls all got Chicken POX the day after I got home from hospital with #5, well the eldest got it then each DD came out in spots over the next week.
My DH was on holidays but had a golf tournament that took him away for a week over this time---it was so much fun. He did make up for his week away once he was home.

Having 4 with the pox is the pits isn't it?

I had 4 with CP when I was 11wks pregnant.