[Guest_CaptainOblivious_*]

I've found that it's only an issue if the 2 kids (including the middle) are the same sex and the third is the opposite. If all kids are the same, or the middle is different to the other two, or there are more than 3 kids it seems as though the impact is dissipated somehow.

In our house we have 'second child syndrome' where the 2nd is stubborn and defiant and firey and walks all over the first child. It was the same in my family and in DP's too.

One of my cousins actually did her thesis on birth order (she suffered terribly from MCS) but I haven't read it so I don't know what the conclusion was. I wish I had a copy actually.

[vego]

Im a big believer of birth order.

Im the eldest and it shows. I was always given the most responsibility, much more mature and driven.

My sister is in the middle and it shows. She has a huge character, she is really funny but was also very naughty as a child. She was forever wanting attention and is very firey, no one can say anything to her!

My youngest sister (half sister) is also a typical last born. She was and is still babied so much. People will bend over backwards for her

Now I have three and my middle child is 'classic middle child syndrome'. I almost want to have another so he doesnt feel alone. He has said a few times that he is not the oldest and not the youngest! He wants to be just like his big brother and sometimes I think he just doesnt fit in

[soontobegran]

As for favourites, DH is his dad's favourite, and his mum's favourite is the youngest (who is also a boy).

Honestly I can't get my head around this. Does the parent profess their preference or is something the children just 'feel'?
Whatever it is it is disgraceful. No child should grow feeling the less favoured sibling. Some parents need a kick in the butt!

[Soprano-Cat]

Honestly I can't get my head around this. Does the parent profess their preference or is something the children just 'feel'?
Whatever it is it is disgraceful. No child should grow feeling the less favoured sibling. Some parents need a kick in the butt!

As a middle/eldest (sister was 13 years older) child with a favoured younger sister, it was the little things. I was sent to bed, she got 10 minutes more snuggles with mum. She p*ssed me off, I got punished, and not listened to.

it becomes quite obvious over many years when a sibling is favoured.

[catnat]

We have joked that our middle child definitely has Middle Child Syndrome: the reality is though he is a twin so being the younger by less than a minute shouldn't really have an impact! We have however had it mentioned to us that he shows a lot of traits of 'Little Man syndrome' too with his aggressiveness, extreme competitiveness and love of big, manly things so he may have just gotten the short straw!

[DandS]

I am the middle child in my family (only girl, 4 brothers), and have 3 children myself.

In both cases I dont really see the middle child syndrome at all - Ive turned out ok, and my middle son is normal and hasnt suffered by having another younger brother. Children all have different personalities - I think this would have more impact, than the birth order.

As for favourites - my parents never showed any favouritism towards myself and my siblings and we all have a very close relationship, and I sure dont show any with my boys - I love them all equally and cant imagine not ever feeling this way.

This post has been edited by DandS: 29/09/2011, 07:40 AM

[SarahBelle48]

My DF has middle child syndrome, he's the middle of 5, with 4 boys and 1 girl. It wasn't helped by the fact that his last 5-10 years at home, he was living with the only daughter and the youngest child, so he pretty much got totally ignored. Its just made him very independent and he doesn't really rely on his family much at all. Its also gotten worse since his mother passed away, as his dad really favours his sister and his eldest brother. They would always get invited out to FFIL's house or out to dinner and DF would never get an invite. And its even worse again because FFIL invites his new gf's kids but not DF. So, its pretty heartbreaking for DF, even though he tries to not show it. But DF always makes comments about being the ignored middle child.

My parents were pretty good at not showing favourites I think. We all had our different potential reasons for being favoured, me for being the youngest, my sister for being the eldest and my brother for being the only boy. So, it all kind of balanced out in the end.

[FreshAirFreedom]

I am the middle of three girls, all born within 4 years of each other. Although my elder sister is definitely the 'good' one, and my younger is the adored, cheeky 'baby', I don't think I ever felt forgotten or less loved. We are all very close - and as my mym would say - she needed to be a different parent to each of us.

.. I am told I was independent and stubborn from the time I was an infant - well before I was a middle anything, so I think that is just the way i am built.. I do instinctively keep my own counsel and make decisions on my own, whereas my sisters appear to still rely on our parents for advice etc. They are definitely closer to both parents, I would say.

If you feel your family isn't quite complete with two, I think a third child can bring an enormous amount of joy. Remembering second hand clothes and needing to squeeze into the back seat of the car make me proud to be part of my family, not wishing my folks had stopped with just two of us!

[Holidayromp]

Oh it most certainly does. We are in the planning stages of number four but I would never had agreed to have number three if we were not going to have four. DD2 is not doing well as a middle child and she does get left out alot.

[..Willowy Wisps....]

There is way to much negative connotations to being the middle child and way to much allowances for bad behaviour due to middle child syndrome as it gets called. Excuses of bad behaviour portrayed by the child and the bad behaviour of some parents who use it as an excuse for their neglectfulness.

I am a middle child of five siblings. At times I can say I was 'forgotten' or I was left out and I hated it other times those times I was forgotten or was left out I loved it......I can focus on the negative or the positive. I choose the positive and so with my two middle children I draw on my experience and always share the positive. Although never forgetting that I (shock horror) may unintentionally 'forget' their needs and so we have an agreement that they need to immediately remind me they are around. To which I apologise profusely :-) and validate their existence :-)

A middle child has the privilege position of being a younger sibling and older sibling at the same time. As adults most often they are much more grounded in social interaction because of their unique position. The middle child people I have met are also most often very intuitive to other peoples feelings due to the experiences they have been through. They have had to from birth, consider some one above them and someone underneath them.

I have met more oldest children adults who have big chips on their shoulders than middle children adults who are still 'suffering' from their lot in life.

Make your decision based on loving another child and with that it brings the responsibility of raising them up in that childs own unique postion. Yes we love our children all the same, but we have to treat them differently because of their character and because of the position they hold.

I love middle children, they often carry a great deal of honest vulneribility with them.....

This post has been edited by ..Willowy Wisps..: 29/09/2011, 01:22 PM