[3cubs]

Thanks for sharing your story. Once again Im sorry for your loss and your family's loss. RIP Lothar. What may have taken your brother days only of planning takes years and years of mental processing. Im so glad your sister found the Sorry written on the mirror. You can only know without any doubt he didnt want to cause you pain he was obviously sick of his own suffering that he didnt want to carry the burden any longer. Getting help for mental health problems is still daunting for some and as soon as all the stigmas associated with suffering from conditions such as depression are gone people will avoid getting help and as a result all of us lose out because we lose life and the significant contributions these often deep feeling and intelligent beings may have made.
Take care Nic

[Nut]

I think that is part of the problem. People can admit to having liver disease or blood pressure problems. It's not unacceptable to have cancer or or parkinsons. But depression is misunderstood. So many do not seek help and so many do not understand that it is a disease, not just a state of mind that people can snap out of. An invisible cancer that grows and left untreated may well kill you.

[mumto4monkeys]

Nut and *Ev, thank you for sharing your story.

My thoughts are with you.

It is such a sad and important story.

Well done for writing it Nut, it would have been hard to do it, but I am sure that there will be many who will benefit. thank you

[*~*MagicHour*~*]

Thank you for sharing your story Nut and *Ev. I cannot imagine what you and your family went through and go through but I hope that sharing the story of Lothar helped the healing just a little bit.

[Mitchy's Mum]

Nut, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. It is so tragic when somebody takes thier own life. You wrote your story so beautifully. And I truly hope hope your message hits home with everyone. I for one will be trying very hard NOT to forget to take those photos. Because they are precious memories.

[jellybeanz]

Nut, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear brother. May he be at peace now. Thank you for sharing your story.

[SportySpice]

Thank you for your story and strength and love to you and your family in a very difficult time.

I was 25 when I found my husband who had suicided (he was 36). I'm now (nearly 45) and with time it does get better, but there needs to be more awareness about this and of course our mental health issues.

20 years ago - like miscarriage as a topic - it's all "taboo".... there are more suicides than there are road fatalities in more years than not, and unfortunately it's the "survivors" that pick up the devasting pieces.

With the events that took place in my life 20 years ago, they have certainly shaped and in some areas, changed my outlook on life, and yes my house is literally FILLED with photographs of family, friends and loved ones.

[**Xena**]

Oh Nut I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that your dear brother was unknowingly in such a bad place that he saw suicide as his only option out.

My love to you and your family

ETA: SportySpice my heart goes out to you too

This post has been edited by **Xena**: 13/04/2011, 01:44 PM

[Rumour has it..]

So sorry for your loss Nut!
Love and hugs to you & your family!

xxEm

[MariaLouisa]

I cried reading your story about your beautiful brother. I have suffered depression and the symptons of withrawal from family events etc.., having no joy in life anymore, no energy, your spirit of living has been really beaten down, unbearable loneliness and hopelessness are so real. I am okay now, i happen to come accross a fantastic counsellor when i was 36yrs old,(i am 43yrs old now) i am on no medication as he doesnt feel i need it, i continually see him to this day to keep on top of my depression, its just so wonderful to have someone like my counsellor that i can off load too (that isnt family or friends) that you can just be you, warts, thoughts and all, and coming out of a session feeling on top of the world. The signs your brother showed is what i felt and you are right when you said you could of caught up with him more for coffee etc because thats what i would of wanted more of when i was going through my stuff but unfortunately i didnt know how to ask for my time and attention from family or friends? Also the bit about your brother was so generous, giving, kind and loving (thats how i was) our hearts sometimes are to big and thats not always a good thing because we always feel empty inside, we may have all the great family and friends around us, no financial problems, great job, great life etc...but inside of us we are empty and what i learnt is that i had to fill the inside up in myself. Slowly i learnt to put myself first (before that i was putting everyone else first and forgetting about me) there were lots of things i had to re learn and finally i pulled myself out of this black hole but as i said i continually see my counsellor every few months to keep on top of it,Its a life long battle.