[Tyrantasaurus]

I suspect it's just going to be one of those days

My DD (5) is usually reasonably well mannered. I do have to remind her sometimes to say please and thankyou, but generally she is not too bad.

This morning however she seems to be in a pig of a mood, and as I was walking to the shower she was in the lounge room and yelled "Apple". I chose to ignore that and kept walking. I had my shower, hopped out to dry myself only to find DD in the bathroom glaring at me (think Exorcist style ) saying "You didn't give me my apple peeled, cored and chopped up"

I explained that I didn't hear her ask for one of those, to which she replied "I don't know how to ask and say please" She then proceeded to follow me down the hall yelling, "I want an apple, I want an apple".

Sitting at the bench whilst I stacked the dishwasher she argued till blue in the face that she still didn't know how to say please. Boy that girl is stubborn.

Eventually I pushed an apple across the bench to her. "That's not peeled OR chopped up" she informed me.

At which point I said I am not going to stand here and listen to you being so rude, come to me when you can speak nicely.

I know it is an apple, a lovely healthy snack that I would normally be very happy to give but seriously?? A few manners wouldn't go astray.

How far do you hold your ground? Would you have just peeled it and chopped it to shut her up make her happy?

[papilio]

No, I wouldn't have given in. Manners are non-negotiable in our house.

[cheekie75]

I think you're doing the right thing and attempting to instill values - no matter her mood stand your ground. I have a 2/1/2 year old that pushes all buttons at the moment as her routine has been turned upside down with DH returning to work this week after a break. She is cunning with her tantrums, but is learning slowly if you ask nicely you will receive in a timely manner.

[namie]

How far do you hold your ground? Would you have just peeled it and chopped it to shut her up make her happy?

No way in hell! She is being totally rude and obnoxious and pushing you to see exactly how far she can push you! I am a pro at ignoring bad behaviour and will just walk away from it for as long as I need to

If she wanted an apple so badly, she could've gotten it herself and eaten it as it was - whole with peel on and core intact!

I might have relented if she had at least nicely asked for an apple peeled and cored even if she hadn't actually used the word please (ie. 'I'd like to eat an apple, peeled and cored, mummy' with no attitude) but I am a stickler for manners, so she'd have had to wear me down pretty badly to give in!

Good luck for the rest of the day!

[knittingkitten]

I would say "You can have an apple when you can ask nicely."
And then follow through.

Possibly with earplugs.

This post has been edited by knittingkitten: 06/01/2011, 09:01 AM

[Procrastinator50...]

Ooooh, no way would I have given her an apple under those circumstances! Absolutely no way.

She can't have wanted the chopped up apple THAT much or been all that hungry

[Stained]

How far do you hold your ground? Would you have just peeled it and chopped it to shut her up make her happy?

Oh heck no!!! No way she would be getting the apple from me until she asked nicely!

[anon60]

Why didn't you put her in her room (for her rude behaviour) until she "remembered" her manners?


Not being smart - legit question?

[Puggle]

My 5yo (who incidentally is eating an apple right now ) has those days. I tend to be pretty firm with her because a) she is an intelligent girl who knows full well that she shouldn't behave like that b) she knows she should use her manners c) because she has a younger sibling who mimics everything.

If it were me, I probably wouldn't have given her the apple until she asked nicely. I don't see any advantage in rewarding negative behaviour. However this does depend on whether I have had a coffee and/or the time of day ... my resolve is pretty weak in arsenic hour of a long day.

It sounds like my DD1 and your DD have a lot in common. My 26 month old DD2 has lovely manners and uses them unprompted about 90% of the time simply because she has grown up hearing her father and I getting exasperated about DD1 not using hers!

Time for you to sit down with a nice cup of tea - I hope the rest of the day is better!

This post has been edited by Puggle: 06/01/2011, 09:08 AM

[robhat]

Ha! My 3 year old would have been sent to her room and told that if she wants things she has to ask nicely or she doesn't get it...

My DD is stubborn too. I pick my battles, but if I think something is important enough I will hold out for as long as it takes to get the message across...