[Nora.]

She sounds very demanding. Run, run, run.

Who asks somebody (with 3 children) to come to their place & help out because they have a cold? That's ridiculous.

[LittleWhiteDove]

Sounds like she's taking the Mickey. I'd simply say "sosorru to hear you are unwell, I've got XYZ happening on Thursday, but maybe we could do coffee next week when you're feeling better. Get well soon!"

I'd also mention that you have some Christmas parties coming up that you need babysitting for, and could she do it and call it even re the missing tokens. Of not, could she please get
them to you so you cam organise someone else.

Good luck with her OP!

[annie13]

Sounds like you need to be more assertive!

[sigh]

If you're feeling used then you probably are being used. Like the others I suggest taking gentle steps back and being less available. I had a friend like this, she's since moved overseas which is great because I know that she would ask me to look after her daughter if she was still here.

[Phascogale]

Have you found out what she is paying you for next week yet? If you want the extra money you may find that it's not worth it - even though you did say you were happy with a token amount.

Does she know you have to take her kids to your eldest's Christmas party plus the PTA work you have to do then? I'd seriously consider not babysitting her kids on that day. Are you able to compromise and come to her place after the party and leave when you have to pick your eldest up? It would mean her working a half day, but 5 kids under 5 at a school function may be a bit much if they are there for a decent length of time as they will get bored.

As for helping her out because she has a cold. Maybe offer to come for an hour after you've done the school run if you have the energy. That way you appease her by helping her out but you aren't stuck there the whole day.

It sounds as though you are being used because you feel as though you are. You may need to back off a little and maybe give facebook a miss for a little while (peruse but don't post) so that she doesn't have the opportunity to ask for things you don't know how to refuse.

[dessiesgirl]

Don't do it - let her find a nanny or some other form of child care. When I was SAHM I had "friends" wanting me to look after their kids so they could work - I just told them that it wasn't the way I wanted to spend my time at home with my kids. One even suggested she thought I could do with the money!! Rude cow!!

She doesn't sound like much of a friend, and you sound far too nice to put up with that sort of crap. Don't waste another second feeling guilty - put your own family and interests first, politely but firmly!!

[Banana Pancakes]

Im so sorry but you are totally being used1 I dont think its because you are sahm I think its because you are so nice and because she is a cow!!!

Id start to back away from this lady. Be friendly but not friends!

[~Bloom~]

She is definitely using you. Don't let her take advantage of your friendly nature. If I were you, I would start distancing myself.

[LoveMumma]

Wow, you are being had!
Just explain to her that you are too busy with your own 3 kids and day to day life that unfortunately you won't be able to help out.
Maybe throw in a comment that you are so busy yourself that you could do with some hired help!

[Guest_BBlessed_*]

I don't necessarily think you are being used - but I do think it's time you said a strong and clear "NO" and meant it!
Some people/friends need very clear firm boundaries put into place or they keep making requests and demands until you do - she may have no idea you have issues with the relationship the way it is. So before I assumed I was being used, I'd set those boundaries very clearly - and I'd do that by saying "No, I can't do that".